Swan Dive
A Reflective Sonnet37 total reviews
Comment from Dougspoetry
A powerful yet sad sonnet. No doubt we can all improve in many areas, but soley focusing on the negatives never allows the positives a chance to breath. There are always two sides to every story, but God's side is the only one that matters. His word tells me that He loves each one of us unconditionally, flaws and all. Though I can't wrap my mind around it I believe it to be true. I live your poem for the honesty behind it, and also for its technical merrits. Great Work!! :)
Your Friend
Doug
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
A powerful yet sad sonnet. No doubt we can all improve in many areas, but soley focusing on the negatives never allows the positives a chance to breath. There are always two sides to every story, but God's side is the only one that matters. His word tells me that He loves each one of us unconditionally, flaws and all. Though I can't wrap my mind around it I believe it to be true. I live your poem for the honesty behind it, and also for its technical merrits. Great Work!! :)
Your Friend
Doug
Comment Written 18-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
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Thanks so much for the sixer buddy. I loved your positive review and don't panic...this is NOT a bio although I AM highly self critical. Haha...Plenty relate though and I think we all have high expectations of ourselves and don't always like what we see in the mirror, as perfectly acceptable as what we see may be. Thanks again for the top rating and wonderful review Douglas
Cheers Phillippa xoxo
Comment from G.B. Smith
Hello there Phillipa. I felt this one my friend and your words speak great truth the artwork is superb. This is a wonderful Sonnet Poetry Contest contest entry
Beare
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
Hello there Phillipa. I felt this one my friend and your words speak great truth the artwork is superb. This is a wonderful Sonnet Poetry Contest contest entry
Beare
Comment Written 17-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
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Awww thanks buddy...not really a bio though. I appreciate your kindness and encouraging review.
Cheers Phillippa xo
Comment from Sally Carter
Great flow to this, Clopo. Very elegant language.
I read this several times over and just couldn't decide whether you were talking to yourself, ie going through a crisis of self confidence, or whether some other person is undermining you. But that is part of the poem's attraction - the ability to read it in different ways.
A very powerful closing couplet. I do hope the "partial" bio bit of this is a very small partial, my friend.
Best wishes
Sally
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
Great flow to this, Clopo. Very elegant language.
I read this several times over and just couldn't decide whether you were talking to yourself, ie going through a crisis of self confidence, or whether some other person is undermining you. But that is part of the poem's attraction - the ability to read it in different ways.
A very powerful closing couplet. I do hope the "partial" bio bit of this is a very small partial, my friend.
Best wishes
Sally
Comment Written 17-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
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Haha...thanks for reading twice Sal, you got both meanings. LOL
Neither are fully true...he is critical and I am self critical but not to the point of shattered dreams etc...only VERY partial but thanks for your concern. I always find the Sonnet very powerful for conveying deep feelings (true or not)...
Thanks for a super review
Clops
xo
Comment from psalmist
Good job with this sonnet. I like the way you used the ugly duckling/swan motif. On the first read, I assumed there were two people involved. But when I reread it, I realized that it is one person speaking to herself, the reflection of who she wants to be but feels she will never achieve. It is so true, we are harder on ourselves than anyone else. Well done and good luck. Linda
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
Good job with this sonnet. I like the way you used the ugly duckling/swan motif. On the first read, I assumed there were two people involved. But when I reread it, I realized that it is one person speaking to herself, the reflection of who she wants to be but feels she will never achieve. It is so true, we are harder on ourselves than anyone else. Well done and good luck. Linda
Comment Written 17-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
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Haha thanks so much for reading twice my friend and you got both meanings. Not a bio though, only amped up elements as I find much power in the Sonnet for feelings.
Thanks for your support.
Cheers Phillippa xoxo
Comment from Thesis
Hi, Phillippa. I'm back on Fanstory after almost a year. I will be posting again soon.
I enjoyed your poem. It's very well said. The trust and confidence issues you identify can easily be related to by your readers. We've all been there before and may be again.
I like the duck's view through the mrror. You are what you see yourself as. - Regards, John
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
Hi, Phillippa. I'm back on Fanstory after almost a year. I will be posting again soon.
I enjoyed your poem. It's very well said. The trust and confidence issues you identify can easily be related to by your readers. We've all been there before and may be again.
I like the duck's view through the mrror. You are what you see yourself as. - Regards, John
Comment Written 17-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
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Well hello John thanks for the review and hope you are well.
I look forward to a post or two from you.
Cheers Phillippa
xo
Comment from Jean Lutz
Keep looking inward and not let another's distorted vision cloud your view. Love the artwork you selected. Duckling with an attitude! Best to you with the entry.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
Keep looking inward and not let another's distorted vision cloud your view. Love the artwork you selected. Duckling with an attitude! Best to you with the entry.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
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Thanks Jean, I know I always have your support...however not really a bio. However this little black duck has PLENTY of attitude.
Cheers Closet xo
Comment from jackpeg
Gotta post a hefty SIX on this one. "You Done Me Wrong" poems usually bore out of my gourd, but the smooth and flawless iambic pace kept me hooked til the very end. Bet none of the other entries are nearly so well connected.
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
Gotta post a hefty SIX on this one. "You Done Me Wrong" poems usually bore out of my gourd, but the smooth and flawless iambic pace kept me hooked til the very end. Bet none of the other entries are nearly so well connected.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
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Wow thanks Jack. Most appreciate your delightful review and sixer. Not sure its flawless but I got time to work on it a little more before voting. I thank you for a sterling review.
CP
Comment from Mastery
Hi,Sexy. Where in the hell have you been? I haven't seen or heard from you in a month so Sundays as they say. This is a dandy poem....but So sad. I do hope this isn't too biographical??? Great job, girl.
btw. I just posted my last chapter called "The Epiphany".. It's worth 1.48 for another day or so if you have time.
Bless you, take care. X0 Bob
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
Hi,Sexy. Where in the hell have you been? I haven't seen or heard from you in a month so Sundays as they say. This is a dandy poem....but So sad. I do hope this isn't too biographical??? Great job, girl.
btw. I just posted my last chapter called "The Epiphany".. It's worth 1.48 for another day or so if you have time.
Bless you, take care. X0 Bob
Comment Written 16-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
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LOL Thanks Bob and you haven't heard from me in a month of Sundays as I've been tied up in a f**king year of Fridays! LMAO
Thanks for a sterling review. Most appreciated. I'll be sure to check out your chapter.
Cheers Pip
Comment from Connie C
Oh, my sweet friend, I hope no one is causing you to "unravel at the seams" by criticizing you. You are far too talented, loving, beautiful, funny, and smart to let anybody tell you any less. (Now, how is that for an ego booster, huh? It's all the truth!) Your poem reflects so well how someone who is perhaps unsure of him- or herself must criticize someone else to make themselves feel better. We all have known someone like that in our lives. I love how you compare yourself to a swan. This is so deserving of a sixer, and guess what--I can give you one! Connie xoxoxo
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
Oh, my sweet friend, I hope no one is causing you to "unravel at the seams" by criticizing you. You are far too talented, loving, beautiful, funny, and smart to let anybody tell you any less. (Now, how is that for an ego booster, huh? It's all the truth!) Your poem reflects so well how someone who is perhaps unsure of him- or herself must criticize someone else to make themselves feel better. We all have known someone like that in our lives. I love how you compare yourself to a swan. This is so deserving of a sixer, and guess what--I can give you one! Connie xoxoxo
Comment Written 16-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
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Wow Connie, thanks so much for a sixer on this one. Its honestly not a bio though...I just amped up what I had and twisted it a little for double meaning...its both HIM and the reflection talking. I AM self critical and he too is a critical SOB however not to the point of shattered dreams...just to the point of pissing each other to tears at times! Haha
Thanks so much for your support.
Cheers Phillippa xoxoxo
Comment from dmt1967
The words of this poem are so true but I think people that put other people down have issues in themselves you should never put a fellow human or anyone down just because you feel bad about yourself good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
The words of this poem are so true but I think people that put other people down have issues in themselves you should never put a fellow human or anyone down just because you feel bad about yourself good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing
Comment Written 15-Aug-2012
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2012
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Thanks for relating to my poem and for the terrific review.
Most appreciated dmt.
Cheers Closet x