Too Many Birds Are Singing!
almost too fantastical to be true ...56 total reviews
Comment from Marienkiefer
Hello,
I am new and was looking to read stories in my favourite genre, " fantasy". Yours came up and I was delighted to read. You seem to me to write in the magical realism style which I love. Your story is full of colour, chock full of humour and the extraordinary, playful and mischievous. Great ingredients for a story.
Nice to meet you. Love your writing style.
Have a nice day.
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2022
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Hello,
I am new and was looking to read stories in my favourite genre, " fantasy". Yours came up and I was delighted to read. You seem to me to write in the magical realism style which I love. Your story is full of colour, chock full of humour and the extraordinary, playful and mischievous. Great ingredients for a story.
Nice to meet you. Love your writing style.
Have a nice day.
Comment Written 18-Mar-2022
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2022
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Bless you Marien - sorry, I just saw this! Thank you for going back to this story which I wrote ages ago! I like the point of view of slightly wry observer - it must be the English in me! :):):) Glad you enjoyed it!
Sharyn
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You are very welcome.Have a nice day.
Comment from Fusion48
Loved it!
Who has not had, at least once in their life, the ambition of proving somebody who had told them they could never do this or that wrong by doing it? Having been blessed by being physically challenged/different from a very young age I have had that ambition a lot of times and not given up on it.
Thanks for the read.
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2013
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Loved it!
Who has not had, at least once in their life, the ambition of proving somebody who had told them they could never do this or that wrong by doing it? Having been blessed by being physically challenged/different from a very young age I have had that ambition a lot of times and not given up on it.
Thanks for the read.
Comment Written 01-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2013
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Well BRAVO for those of us in the world with courage and stubbornness F48!! I'm so delighted you enjoyed my story! Of course it was inspired by my son and a multitude of do-gooder (not!) teachers he and I have dealt with over the years. I'm so glad you enjoyed it and I think you for your wonderful six!
Blessings,
Sharyn
Comment from ephraim crud, COS.
exceptional write Sharyn and was tempted to bookcase so could six you at weekend,but last time i did that i forgot! fantastic visuals and delivered with your intelligent wit. Glad you pointed me in this direction as you are right - right up me street and p'raps this was reason i never learnt to spell either lol, warmly xx eph
reply by the author on 30-May-2013
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exceptional write Sharyn and was tempted to bookcase so could six you at weekend,but last time i did that i forgot! fantastic visuals and delivered with your intelligent wit. Glad you pointed me in this direction as you are right - right up me street and p'raps this was reason i never learnt to spell either lol, warmly xx eph
Comment Written 30-May-2013
reply by the author on 30-May-2013
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oh I KNEW you'd like this one eph! :)
Comment from barkingdog
This is fantastic from beginning to end.
I was laughing over the visuals you gave us of the red poisonous tomato about to explode, pig, beach ball, ill-mannered, strawberry jello quivering, uncomfortable thong, frilly dress wearing, self image challenged Miss Montgomery who yelled. Whew!
Tommy's mother -- well I'd a hit the useless adult bully too.
I think the Wedgewood eyes at the end pretty much are set in my mind as her image. A pale angel with Wedgwood plate eyes.
Jack was a down to earth realistic character. Stability.
An Tommy reads.(Oh, the description of the ADD learner as squirmy is so true. It used to be those kids eventually did learn and didn't need medication. I have problems with parents'/teachers' choices in this matter.)
Wonderful. What more can I say. My last six goes up on the board. Cha-ching!
reply by the author on 30-May-2013
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This is fantastic from beginning to end.
I was laughing over the visuals you gave us of the red poisonous tomato about to explode, pig, beach ball, ill-mannered, strawberry jello quivering, uncomfortable thong, frilly dress wearing, self image challenged Miss Montgomery who yelled. Whew!
Tommy's mother -- well I'd a hit the useless adult bully too.
I think the Wedgewood eyes at the end pretty much are set in my mind as her image. A pale angel with Wedgwood plate eyes.
Jack was a down to earth realistic character. Stability.
An Tommy reads.(Oh, the description of the ADD learner as squirmy is so true. It used to be those kids eventually did learn and didn't need medication. I have problems with parents'/teachers' choices in this matter.)
Wonderful. What more can I say. My last six goes up on the board. Cha-ching!
Comment Written 29-May-2013
reply by the author on 30-May-2013
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OH BLESS YOU - cha ching! I'll take it! Thank you SO much bd - can you tell I had fun with this one???
:)Sharyn
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Oh, yes, I can tell. You had to be laughing while you typed(the mad writer, glasses steaming, fingers the speed of light) as the images popped. Every line is a gem!
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it was the red thong one that was particularly challenging ...
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That was definitely a TMI visual moment. LOL I was dying when you mentioned the discomfort and then I looked. OMG!!! LOL She was hairless, being a pig, but still it was horror, sci-fi XXX-rated. Then I panned back up to her fine dental work and her sputtering with feather ear rings in her semi-piggy old maid schoolmarm snout. Oh, yes, this story is still fresh in my mind and will be for quite a while. I'm glad it's a funny one, or I'd be having vivid nightmares.
Thanks for the memories. Cliche, but in this case, it suits the way I feel.
Cheers,
:)e
Comment from Mark Alan Trimeloni
The characters are great and the use of dialog, background elements, and comedy make this a must read. OMG! This first line,"No! No! Stop asking me to read more! Too many birds are singing!" had me rolling with laughter. What a great way to start a story. Followed by this, "And before anyone can say "Jack Robinson!" he covers them up again." Another wonderful moment. In this part, "Mrs Jones has no choice but" maybe add a period after the word, "Mrs". I can see you've done this throughout the story. Is this a style thing? I find it to be the only true distraction from your otherwise wonderful story. Regardless, your story hit me on so many levels. Great job!
reply by the author on 30-May-2013
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The characters are great and the use of dialog, background elements, and comedy make this a must read. OMG! This first line,"No! No! Stop asking me to read more! Too many birds are singing!" had me rolling with laughter. What a great way to start a story. Followed by this, "And before anyone can say "Jack Robinson!" he covers them up again." Another wonderful moment. In this part, "Mrs Jones has no choice but" maybe add a period after the word, "Mrs". I can see you've done this throughout the story. Is this a style thing? I find it to be the only true distraction from your otherwise wonderful story. Regardless, your story hit me on so many levels. Great job!
Comment Written 29-May-2013
reply by the author on 30-May-2013
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Thanks so much for your lovely six on this one Mark! We were always taught NOT to put a period after "Mrs" as a typing convention - i.e. that we had the choice, and the modern choice was not to use one. I must check out and see what other people do! I'm so glad you enjoyed my story!
:)Sharyn
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Sharyn I wouldn't change a thing. Your writing transcends a simple period. Love your work.--mark :)
Comment from debskatz
Hi visionary1234,
An interesting story, yet it reads and sounds like a fairytale.
A little too much tomato, if you know what I mean. A little strange segue into 3 years later.
All the 'Mrs' needs to be 'Mrs.'
Cool story, though. Thanks for sharing it with us & good luck in the contest!
smiles,
deb
reply by the author on 30-May-2013
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Hi visionary1234,
An interesting story, yet it reads and sounds like a fairytale.
A little too much tomato, if you know what I mean. A little strange segue into 3 years later.
All the 'Mrs' needs to be 'Mrs.'
Cool story, though. Thanks for sharing it with us & good luck in the contest!
smiles,
deb
Comment Written 29-May-2013
reply by the author on 30-May-2013
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thx Deb! Actually "Mrs" doesn't need a period if you follow Aussie typing conventions - but I'll check and see what other people are doing these days. Thank you so much! It is actually meant to read and sound like a fairytale, so I'm glad I succeeded there. Had to do the strange segue because of a word limitation but I'll be happy to expand / re-look at that because I feel the same way - though, if you imagine the story being read aloud by a Storyteller, it would work fine because of the repetition. (I hope so, anyway!)
:) Sharyn
Comment from fairy77
That was one of the best stories on fanstory. It had conflict, drama, humor and was talking of a learning difficulty. Wonderful story and of your son.This must have felt great to accomplish:)Congrats Sharyn:) beth fairy77.
reply by the author on 29-May-2013
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That was one of the best stories on fanstory. It had conflict, drama, humor and was talking of a learning difficulty. Wonderful story and of your son.This must have felt great to accomplish:)Congrats Sharyn:) beth fairy77.
Comment Written 28-May-2013
reply by the author on 29-May-2013
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oh Beth! Thank you SO much for saying such wonderful things about this story! You brought a HUGE grin to my face! I really enjoyed writing this one, so I'm extra extra delighted with your magic sixer. Thank you so much for your praise and for your encouraging support - always appreciated!
Blessings
Sharyn
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Sharyn you're a wonderful writer:)beth fairy77.
Comment from rhymelord
Dear Sharyn,
This is really worth a six, but I have apparently awarded you one in the near past. Sorry. Anyway, you sure have a way with words. This is fascinating stuff, wonderfully descriptive, great mix of erudite and simple language and heart warming story line.
Best regards
Reg
reply by the author on 29-May-2013
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Dear Sharyn,
This is really worth a six, but I have apparently awarded you one in the near past. Sorry. Anyway, you sure have a way with words. This is fascinating stuff, wonderfully descriptive, great mix of erudite and simple language and heart warming story line.
Best regards
Reg
Comment Written 28-May-2013
reply by the author on 29-May-2013
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I'm so delighted you enjoyed this one Reg! Can you tell I had fun writing it?
:)))Sharyn
Comment from Peppy1105
GREAT! I especially liked the gripping start that made it easy to continue reading. If a story has a catchy start, readers have more incentive to continue reading. It caught my attention:) I found the title catchy and the topic very cute and something everyone who has woken up to annoying chirps can relate to
reply by the author on 29-May-2013
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GREAT! I especially liked the gripping start that made it easy to continue reading. If a story has a catchy start, readers have more incentive to continue reading. It caught my attention:) I found the title catchy and the topic very cute and something everyone who has woken up to annoying chirps can relate to
Comment Written 28-May-2013
reply by the author on 29-May-2013
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thx so much Peppy! Much appreciated!
:)Sharyn
Comment from JM daSilva
Good story with a kid who has maybe the opposite problem I had, or have. According to scientists you can never get rid of it, but I have my doubts. Anyway, I can sit still for hours, he can't for five seconds. But I guess there is always a remedy, a good approach. I just couldn't understand how his mother got to the classroom to defend him against the teacher; I think there should be a transition thing there. The rest, the transition was great.
reply by the author on 28-May-2013
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Good story with a kid who has maybe the opposite problem I had, or have. According to scientists you can never get rid of it, but I have my doubts. Anyway, I can sit still for hours, he can't for five seconds. But I guess there is always a remedy, a good approach. I just couldn't understand how his mother got to the classroom to defend him against the teacher; I think there should be a transition thing there. The rest, the transition was great.
Comment Written 28-May-2013
reply by the author on 28-May-2013
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aah - easy fix - moms always wait outside while their kids are being seen. Thx! :)S
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Great. I just couldn't imagine how she was suddenly there.
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just changed it for you - good suggestion. It's so standard that mom waits out in reception I didn't really think about it. :)
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Great. It's because sometimes people who haven't had the experience will wonder. Like me. I haven't been to school, so there are things I don't know. And I'll bet there are others like me.
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understand - would you mind just taking another peek at that section please? should be clear now?
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Not at all. I'll do that now.
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Perfect! I have no doubt now.
Tommy will never forget that moment. Neither will his mother who, hearing raised voices from where she sits waiting in the reception-room, barrels through the door just in time to save her sonā??s precious head from bouncing across the floor and rolling down the steps to the school playground. That could be problematic - soccer is extremely popular this year!