The Animal Doctor
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "The New Horizon"Love Among the Thorns
37 total reviews
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
WEll written and very interesting.
This post follows on seamlessly from the last.
You have the ability to draw the reader in and hold them until the end.
Well formatted and compiled.
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2013
  |
WEll written and very interesting.
This post follows on seamlessly from the last.
You have the ability to draw the reader in and hold them until the end.
Well formatted and compiled.
Comment Written 02-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 02-Jul-2013
-
Thank you for reading and earlier chapter. Hope you find time to read the fifth. Nathan's life is about to become more complicated.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This seems to be paced well. I was thinking, when did the rabbit test come about, and wouldn't the doctor have known earlier that way that Eva wasn't pregnant? Sorry if I sound dense as I have not written a romantic period work before.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2013
|
This seems to be paced well. I was thinking, when did the rabbit test come about, and wouldn't the doctor have known earlier that way that Eva wasn't pregnant? Sorry if I sound dense as I have not written a romantic period work before.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2013
-
Thank you so much for keeping up with the story. That was her first visit to the doctor. I'll go back and see if that fact needs explaining.
Comment from Shirley B
Dear amahra, I think this one is my favorite chapter. You are doing just a great job. I feel like I am a member of their small town. You give such life to their personalities. If I were Nathan I would watch out for Eva. I do not trust her. Can't wait to read the next chapter. Great job, Shirley
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2013
 |
Dear amahra, I think this one is my favorite chapter. You are doing just a great job. I feel like I am a member of their small town. You give such life to their personalities. If I were Nathan I would watch out for Eva. I do not trust her. Can't wait to read the next chapter. Great job, Shirley
Comment Written 20-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2013
-
Thank you so much Shirley for keeping up with my story. Your review will inspire me to continue to make this story worth reading.
Comment from KYPollard/El Gato
Hello, my friend, this post is well written with no grammar issues to note. I really liked the second paragraph here, that talks about the arranged marriage. You have Elisabeth talking about a family, (inspecting them) and you have her inspecting the silverware for spots, an action which enhances her talking about the Wainwrights. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2013
|
Hello, my friend, this post is well written with no grammar issues to note. I really liked the second paragraph here, that talks about the arranged marriage. You have Elisabeth talking about a family, (inspecting them) and you have her inspecting the silverware for spots, an action which enhances her talking about the Wainwrights. Nicely done.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2013
-
Thank you Gato for being specific about what you liked about my story. Your review is very helpful to my future writings.
Comment from Neil A Morrow
Hi amahra, this is not my usual genre of writing but it held my attention--drew me in with your descriptions and credible dialogue, making for a comfortable read for the reader. My son is called Nathan but I didn't like Nate for short, think Nat is better.
Neil
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2013
|
Hi amahra, this is not my usual genre of writing but it held my attention--drew me in with your descriptions and credible dialogue, making for a comfortable read for the reader. My son is called Nathan but I didn't like Nate for short, think Nat is better.
Neil
Comment Written 20-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2013
-
Thank you Neil for reading and giving such a fine review. I'm glad you liked it. Though I deal with realism in my writing, I don't like to be too predictable. So, that's why it's Nate instead of Nat.
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
This is really well written , Amahra -
Nathan is clearly in love with Margaret
and Eva seems aware of this. I think there'll
be trouble brewing shortly.
Dialogue flows naturally throughout.
Just one minor thing...
Eva said, afer kissing - after
Margaret
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2013
|
This is really well written , Amahra -
Nathan is clearly in love with Margaret
and Eva seems aware of this. I think there'll
be trouble brewing shortly.
Dialogue flows naturally throughout.
Just one minor thing...
Eva said, afer kissing - after
Margaret
Comment Written 19-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2013
-
Thank you Margaret, I fix that right away. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Curt Winslow
This continues to be a good story. I am sure it is hard to move on after a loved one has died. When you take on a new love, the old one lingers in your mind. I am sure the first love; unless faulted, is stronger than the new. Great job!
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2013
|
This continues to be a good story. I am sure it is hard to move on after a loved one has died. When you take on a new love, the old one lingers in your mind. I am sure the first love; unless faulted, is stronger than the new. Great job!
Comment Written 19-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2013
-
Thank you so much for your analysis that is quite "Right On." I'm so glad you are keeping up with the story.
Comment from Quillian
Your story is one that resonates with a lot of us, unrequited, lost love. Add in the fact that financial gain was part of the reason for a union and trouble is brewing. I found a couple of things you may want to look at.
I think "she smoothed her hands on her apron' would read better as 'Smoothing her hands on her apron.
Also 'she knew it was the memories might be better with memory.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2013
 |
Your story is one that resonates with a lot of us, unrequited, lost love. Add in the fact that financial gain was part of the reason for a union and trouble is brewing. I found a couple of things you may want to look at.
I think "she smoothed her hands on her apron' would read better as 'Smoothing her hands on her apron.
Also 'she knew it was the memories might be better with memory.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2013
-
Thank you for your review.
Comment from chasennov
The Animal Doctor. 'The New Horizon.'An excellent chapter you wrote here, and I really enjoyed the read very much. I thought your story was well formulated.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2013
|
The Animal Doctor. 'The New Horizon.'An excellent chapter you wrote here, and I really enjoyed the read very much. I thought your story was well formulated.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2013
-
Thank you very much.
-
You're very welcome.
Comment from debskatz
Hi amahra,
Although I haven't read the previous chapters, I enjoyed this one very much. It was well written and held my attention throughout.
Only found one spag: "I'm just T(t)hirty-nine"
Thanks so much for sharing with us!
smiles,
deb
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2013
|
Hi amahra,
Although I haven't read the previous chapters, I enjoyed this one very much. It was well written and held my attention throughout.
Only found one spag: "I'm just T(t)hirty-nine"
Thanks so much for sharing with us!
smiles,
deb
Comment Written 19-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2013
-
Thank you for catching that spag, my dear deb. And thank, you for reading.