Dig
You can't stop digging.15 total reviews
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Yes this is well written my friend some people do not no when to stop digging and each time things get more serious well done on this creative write regards Jill
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2013
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Yes this is well written my friend some people do not no when to stop digging and each time things get more serious well done on this creative write regards Jill
Comment Written 11-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2013
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Thank you for the great review. Gretchen
Comment from adewpearl
I read this more as poetry than prose.
Excellent use of vivid details and specific illustrative examples to take the reader into the world of addiction
This packs a huge emotional punch, and I like the use of "you", which forces the reader to think what life would be like if he or she got drawn into this self-destructive behavior. Brooke
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2013
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I read this more as poetry than prose.
Excellent use of vivid details and specific illustrative examples to take the reader into the world of addiction
This packs a huge emotional punch, and I like the use of "you", which forces the reader to think what life would be like if he or she got drawn into this self-destructive behavior. Brooke
Comment Written 10-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2013
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Thank you for the great review and the encouraging words.
Comment from marycec
A gripping read The second person narrator I feel works in this instance as it distances the reader in a way but also allows them to be drawn into the downward spiral of the addict.Digging is a superb metaphor here with the idea of digging a hole for yourself that gets deeper all the time and of course ends in digging of the grave.
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2013
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A gripping read The second person narrator I feel works in this instance as it distances the reader in a way but also allows them to be drawn into the downward spiral of the addict.Digging is a superb metaphor here with the idea of digging a hole for yourself that gets deeper all the time and of course ends in digging of the grave.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2013
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Thank you again for the awesome review and the stellar rating. Gretchen
Comment from MelReyn
I'm not normally a fan of second person. I get pretty irritated. I keep saying "NO, I didn't do that!" or "Don't put words in my mouth!" But honestly, for true, I didn't do that with this poem. It didn't even register until I read your note. So you're doing something right. Don't ask me what it is, cause I couldn't tell you. :)
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2013
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I'm not normally a fan of second person. I get pretty irritated. I keep saying "NO, I didn't do that!" or "Don't put words in my mouth!" But honestly, for true, I didn't do that with this poem. It didn't even register until I read your note. So you're doing something right. Don't ask me what it is, cause I couldn't tell you. :)
Comment Written 09-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2013
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Thank you for the great review. I am glad I didn't put words in your mouth. LOL. I hate when I do that to readers. Enjoy your reviews because you write like you talk. I'm guessing. Anyhow, thank you for the great review and all that. Gretchen
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Lol yes once you enter the realm of 'friend of Missy,' then yes I sound pretty much how I write... But I'm quiet before that. *gasp*
Comment from Sally Carter
I think you want constructive criticism on the use of "you", Gretchen.
I can't tell you whether it's often done, whether it's generally approved of, or anything clever. All I can say is that it works for me, though I struggle a bit to tell you why.
There used to be a wonderful story writer here called EP Thomas, who has sadly left, for reasons unknown. (He did have heart problems, so it's even possible he died.)
However, the point of mentioning him is that he wrote the most superb stories, at least two of which I remember being in the second person. I also remember some adverse critiques, which he blithely but respectfully ignored. He seemed to have enough confidence in his talent that that was the way he wanted to do it, and that was the way it would stay. If you never "met" him, I'll have to see if I still have copies of any of his stories to share with you.
Anyhow, if it was good enough for EP Thomas, then I think the style is good enough for anyone.
Someone else whose opinion I hugely value also once told me that when writing anything about emotional subjects, it's often good NOT to write in your own voice. If you put the thoughts into someone else, then you aren't confined to "truth", but can let your imagination go free. But at the same time you can include your own experiences, views or whatever, that might be difficult to share in your own voice.
Maybe that's not relevant here, where you are writing about someone else, but who knows?
What I also like about this is that you focus on one person. The story of drug abuse is shown through that person and the message is clear from their untimely death. In the hands of other writers, this could turn into a "preach", as some of the poems about domestic violence have a tendency to do.
"Dig" is a superb verb choice, and the way you incorporate it throughout the poem, very effective.
I hope this is some reassurance that for at least one reader, this works just great!
Best wishes
Sally
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2013
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I think you want constructive criticism on the use of "you", Gretchen.
I can't tell you whether it's often done, whether it's generally approved of, or anything clever. All I can say is that it works for me, though I struggle a bit to tell you why.
There used to be a wonderful story writer here called EP Thomas, who has sadly left, for reasons unknown. (He did have heart problems, so it's even possible he died.)
However, the point of mentioning him is that he wrote the most superb stories, at least two of which I remember being in the second person. I also remember some adverse critiques, which he blithely but respectfully ignored. He seemed to have enough confidence in his talent that that was the way he wanted to do it, and that was the way it would stay. If you never "met" him, I'll have to see if I still have copies of any of his stories to share with you.
Anyhow, if it was good enough for EP Thomas, then I think the style is good enough for anyone.
Someone else whose opinion I hugely value also once told me that when writing anything about emotional subjects, it's often good NOT to write in your own voice. If you put the thoughts into someone else, then you aren't confined to "truth", but can let your imagination go free. But at the same time you can include your own experiences, views or whatever, that might be difficult to share in your own voice.
Maybe that's not relevant here, where you are writing about someone else, but who knows?
What I also like about this is that you focus on one person. The story of drug abuse is shown through that person and the message is clear from their untimely death. In the hands of other writers, this could turn into a "preach", as some of the poems about domestic violence have a tendency to do.
"Dig" is a superb verb choice, and the way you incorporate it throughout the poem, very effective.
I hope this is some reassurance that for at least one reader, this works just great!
Best wishes
Sally
Comment Written 09-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2013
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I knew if anyone could tell me straight about the poem/story, it would be you. You have yet to let me down when reviewing my work. Once again, I thank you for the review and the nice and encouraging words. Gretchen
Comment from EMB
Hmm. I'd say someone has been reading Ellen Hopkins. :) That's who this reminded me of because she tells great stories like this through poetic formatting, and Crank is all about bring awareness to drug abuse.
Nice job with this, G.
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2013
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Hmm. I'd say someone has been reading Ellen Hopkins. :) That's who this reminded me of because she tells great stories like this through poetic formatting, and Crank is all about bring awareness to drug abuse.
Nice job with this, G.
Comment Written 09-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2013
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Thank you for the wonderful rating and the nice review. Gretchen
Comment from Misrael
WOW! That is a very sobering read and everyone should heed it's warning. That should be posted at least once a year if not more. Very good read and keep up the good work.
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2013
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WOW! That is a very sobering read and everyone should heed it's warning. That should be posted at least once a year if not more. Very good read and keep up the good work.
Comment Written 08-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2013
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Thank you for the great review and the encouragement. Gretchen
Comment from Titanx9
Wow! This is an incredible poem journeying the life in verse of junkies who want to try all the mind-altering drugs they can find, knowing most are bad for their health. I like that you've used "dig" throughout to show the quest of junkies all their lives for either for money or drugs. It is the end that is perhaps the most poignant, as your use of "dig" has the greatest impact: at death, a hole is dug for them. Then, in the last two lines, you ask the age-old question many pose at death - are they at peace? This is an exceptional poem. I enjoyed it!
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2013
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Wow! This is an incredible poem journeying the life in verse of junkies who want to try all the mind-altering drugs they can find, knowing most are bad for their health. I like that you've used "dig" throughout to show the quest of junkies all their lives for either for money or drugs. It is the end that is perhaps the most poignant, as your use of "dig" has the greatest impact: at death, a hole is dug for them. Then, in the last two lines, you ask the age-old question many pose at death - are they at peace? This is an exceptional poem. I enjoyed it!
Comment Written 08-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2013
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Thank you for the great review and the nice comments. Gretchen
Comment from nancy_e_davis
I'm not a writer Gretchen so I will leave it up to them to critique this. Your story is sad. It is true of those who find themselves at the mercy of the need for drugs or alcohol. It is a good message well done. Nancy
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2013
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I'm not a writer Gretchen so I will leave it up to them to critique this. Your story is sad. It is true of those who find themselves at the mercy of the need for drugs or alcohol. It is a good message well done. Nancy
Comment Written 08-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2013
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Thank you for the great review. Gretchen
Comment from Curtis Hatch
Gretchen,
This is quite a walk on the dark side of life. You do an outstanding job of laying out the lifestyle of the protagonist. I thank God that I had the wisdom not to get into the illegal drug scene. I'm programmed with a safety valve when it comes to alcohol. I drink too much, and I get sick and suffer a terrible hangover. It takes very little to cause a headache so bad I can hear my hair growing.
Curtis
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2013
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Gretchen,
This is quite a walk on the dark side of life. You do an outstanding job of laying out the lifestyle of the protagonist. I thank God that I had the wisdom not to get into the illegal drug scene. I'm programmed with a safety valve when it comes to alcohol. I drink too much, and I get sick and suffer a terrible hangover. It takes very little to cause a headache so bad I can hear my hair growing.
Curtis
Comment Written 08-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2013
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Glad you have the wisdom not to try whatever it take to get you altered. I was a big chicken growing up so I don't have my own story to tell, but I have seen enough in my time to recognize it for what it is. Escaping from living your life. Thanks for the great review. Gretchen