Comment from Benny Beeharry

Excellent

That was a very good romp in the desert life. You ate very knowledgeable.
I am very happy with the various imageries and the verve the little boy takes his share of life and makes it solid.
Thank you for sharing.
As you see i am not writing for the moment.
After sending all i had, it a lot of strength to rise from the ash again.
Will be back soon.
Benny Beeharry

 Comment Written 18-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 18-Feb-2014

You have accomplished so much Benny. I remember when I shared with you how to post a photo. Now look at you, ready to go to press. I am delighted you enjoyed Abbeed and Clara. Thank God for the Internet. :-) The camel research was fun. I am always thrilled to hear from you and ready your comments. :-) Carolyn

Comment from Maureen's Pen

Excellent

Dear Carolyn, I enjoyed reading your story. It was well penned with imagery and dialogue smooth reading and transition. Great overall job on this one.
Thanks for sharing it and good luck.
Maureen

 Comment Written 17-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014

Hi there my dear friend, I am delighted you liked the story about Abbeed and Clara. It was fun to write. Hope you have a wonderful week. Love, Carolyn

Comment from sweetwoodjax

Excellent

this is very well written, carolyn, you did an excellent job writing this story about the boy who became a man and raced his camel in the camel races. i enjoyed reading it. good luck in the contest

 Comment Written 17-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 17-Feb-2014

Thank you for this wonderful review, have a great week, :-) Carolyn

Comment from Spitfire

Excellent

It's fun to read something that reflects another culture and their entertainment. Camels are temperamental, I've heard. Good thing, Clara didn't hear this. Good luck in the contest. You know how to tell a good story.

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Feb-2014

Thanks Shari, I am delighted you enjoyed the story. I have several others cooking up about Abbeed and Clara. :-) Carolyn

Comment from w.j.debi

Excellent

Wonderful story that offers a glimpse into the the life of a boy and his camel. It is always interesting to hear of other cultures and the daily lives of the common people. I never thought about them using Carmel's milk or making yogurt from it in Arabia.
Good narrative voice and xcellent descriptions.

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Feb-2014

I appreciate your fine review, rating and comments. I learned a lot from my research, so happy you enjoyed the story. :-) Carolyn

Comment from Tatarka2

Excellent

This is such a lovely children's story, written in a way that keeps the reader intrigued. I felt I knew the little boy, and could see him enjoying his ride on his camel. I'm sure children will love it, but it's a great story for adults, too.

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Feb-2014

Thanks for the kind review and encouraging remarks, I am so glad you liked Abbeed and Clara. :-) Carolyn

Comment from Deniz22

Excellent

I like your story. I do not profess to be an expert on writing but have learned a couple of things along the way, So, with a view to being helpful, I will make a few observations.

1. I notice that you often link two sentences with a comma. Better two short sentences than the comma connection.

2. Check your work for clarity. Will someone who knows nothing about what you know well and are now writing about "get it"?

3. One thing that really helps is to check word choices. Is there a better word, even though this one is "ok"? Are my word choices consistent with my already stated facts in the terms that I have previously committed to my story?

Hope these help!

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Feb-2014

Thank you Deniz22 for the constructive comments. I will edit and use your suggestions where possible. I am also glad you liked the story. :-) Carolyn

Comment from angelface2

Excellent

OH, Carolyn, I just love this story. It would be great for young children. I was glad for the info in your author's notes. Very nice. Good luck in the contest. Miss Sally

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Feb-2014

Thanks Miss Sally,for the wonderful review. So happy you enjoyed the story. :- ) Carolyn

Comment from Tomes Johnston

Excellent

This is an interesting and informative piece of writing from the author in this post. I knew about the bactrian and dromedary camels before this but I love fiction that draws on facts. I like to do this in my writing as well.

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Feb-2014

Thanks Tomes, it is always good to read your comments. :-) Carolyn

reply by Tomes Johnston on 17-Feb-2014

My pleasure.

Tom.

Comment from TheWriteTeach

Excellent

This is a cute story for children. Actually, it is more than a story, it teaches the reader some things as well, such as the difference between the two kinds of camels.

Nicely done. Good luck in the contest.

Suzanne

 Comment Written 16-Feb-2014

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reply by the author on 16-Feb-2014

Thanks Suzanne, (we have a daughter Suzanne spelled the same way) so happy you enjoyed the story. I appreciate the good wishes, Carolyn