Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 90 "Someone's Daughter"Assorted poetry
4 total reviews
Comment from krys123
Love your choice of vernacular and your grammatically correct way of speaking that language. He said quite a lot in such few words that painted a picture as writing your office notes. Thank you so much for sharing and posting your work for everyone. May you have a good one and God bless.
Alex
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2014
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Love your choice of vernacular and your grammatically correct way of speaking that language. He said quite a lot in such few words that painted a picture as writing your office notes. Thank you so much for sharing and posting your work for everyone. May you have a good one and God bless.
Alex
Comment Written 16-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2014
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Thank you, Alex, for taking a look at this. Bill
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You are so welcome Bill
Comment from lindalcreel
And people wonder why our young turn to drugs. It is to escape the terrible lives they live. Whoever you write about in this poem, is probably glad for the only escape from her tormentors that she has. It is a sad existence for sure. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2014
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And people wonder why our young turn to drugs. It is to escape the terrible lives they live. Whoever you write about in this poem, is probably glad for the only escape from her tormentors that she has. It is a sad existence for sure. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2014
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Thank you, Linda, for taking a look at this. Bill
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My pleasure!
Comment from adewpearl
typo in line 1 - wil be - will
some of your lines end in rhyming couplets, but not all of them, as is required by the minute poem
chancey - chancy
your lines have the right syllable count, but many are not in iambic meter as required by the minute poem - the pattern needs to be daDUM daDUM and you have a bunch of lines beginning with an accented syllable, like NOthing and DINner and GRABbin'
good social commentary, but you need to work on the minute poem rules :-) I'll be happy to up the rating if you revise
I see this is not in a minute poem contest, so I'll also up the rating if you just stop calling it one ;-) Brooke
rating happily raised :-)
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2014
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typo in line 1 - wil be - will
some of your lines end in rhyming couplets, but not all of them, as is required by the minute poem
chancey - chancy
your lines have the right syllable count, but many are not in iambic meter as required by the minute poem - the pattern needs to be daDUM daDUM and you have a bunch of lines beginning with an accented syllable, like NOthing and DINner and GRABbin'
good social commentary, but you need to work on the minute poem rules :-) I'll be happy to up the rating if you revise
I see this is not in a minute poem contest, so I'll also up the rating if you just stop calling it one ;-) Brooke
rating happily raised :-)
Comment Written 16-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2014
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I have taken away the suggestion that this is a minute poem.
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I'll go change the rating :-)
Comment from trimple
How terribly sad but so very common. A woman succumbed to a life on the streets to sustain her drug addiction. Always there will be those who will take advantage of others downfall.
A fabulous depiction, and heart felt title.
well done Bill
kind regards
trimple
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2014
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How terribly sad but so very common. A woman succumbed to a life on the streets to sustain her drug addiction. Always there will be those who will take advantage of others downfall.
A fabulous depiction, and heart felt title.
well done Bill
kind regards
trimple
Comment Written 16-Feb-2014
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2014
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Thank you for reviewing. I've been beaten hip and thigh because this is NOT a minute poem format. I've since removed that suggestion.