Twenty Miles Travelled
Biographical Non-Fiction15 total reviews
Comment from ravenriter
This is so beautifully done. You sound very much like me, happy in your own world but with deep roots that reach out to those around you. Sometimes I don't think we even realize how deep those roots go. But I have learned in my life that loss, even the loss of those near and dear to us, is pure illusion. Those loved can never leave us because the love is indestructable and stays with us. So long as the love is kept close, so are they ...
Thanks for sharing the beauty of your spirit!
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
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This is so beautifully done. You sound very much like me, happy in your own world but with deep roots that reach out to those around you. Sometimes I don't think we even realize how deep those roots go. But I have learned in my life that loss, even the loss of those near and dear to us, is pure illusion. Those loved can never leave us because the love is indestructable and stays with us. So long as the love is kept close, so are they ...
Thanks for sharing the beauty of your spirit!
Comment Written 28-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2014
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I am surprised! I wasn't expecting anyone to review this.
I appreciate your sweet gesture. Glad you could connect with this one. I am really happy in my little world which is full of thoughts and memories. Yes, loved ones never depart, but remain alive within us. It all depends upon the depth of love we share with them. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me. :)
Comment from Ridley Williams
Hello Anupam,
Wow! What a challenging prompt. It strikes me that a younger person may have an easier time with this one because of age...at mine, I don't know what I would leave out, lol. That doesn't take away from your serious theme. I can relate to the feelings you describe about your fear of loss. I was always a fairly care-free person until my wife was diagnosed with cancer a few years ago. She has recovered and is cancer-free, so far. I was still left with a feeling of mortality, and the stark realization of limited time. I appreciate your thought about futuristic pain. Still, if we let that inevitable fact rule our souls, the world becomes a very sobering place to exist. I have often thought it takes a strong sense of self-denial to met each day with knowledgeable fear. I, too, try to find joy in what I may, while keeping the fear under control. Good job with this tough assignment. Best wishes with this entry, later, Bill
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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Hello Anupam,
Wow! What a challenging prompt. It strikes me that a younger person may have an easier time with this one because of age...at mine, I don't know what I would leave out, lol. That doesn't take away from your serious theme. I can relate to the feelings you describe about your fear of loss. I was always a fairly care-free person until my wife was diagnosed with cancer a few years ago. She has recovered and is cancer-free, so far. I was still left with a feeling of mortality, and the stark realization of limited time. I appreciate your thought about futuristic pain. Still, if we let that inevitable fact rule our souls, the world becomes a very sobering place to exist. I have often thought it takes a strong sense of self-denial to met each day with knowledgeable fear. I, too, try to find joy in what I may, while keeping the fear under control. Good job with this tough assignment. Best wishes with this entry, later, Bill
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2014
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Hi, Bill.
This really was challenging and fun both. I had so much to say, but the words were few. I can easily connect to your emotions. It isn't easy to let someone go as we feel so vacant then. But to share joyous time with the loved ones is what we need. Thank you for sharing your experience and positivity.
Thank you for another lovely review.
Anupan
Comment from SueZen
If not a review, would give you 6 stars, for TOUCHING me with your feelings, anxieties, all you express so honestly.
Please grant me reacting to 'even in my twenties': so young & so much opportunity for dis-covering, learning, etc.:
- why you 'became' reserved (I understand !)
- who you really ARE = NOT what others or you THINK you are;
- try to see new faces just as new, as yours is to others.
- try to not THINK in certain, conditioned terms/evaluation.
- allow your mind to expand, embrace the unknown fearlessly.
- realize that we cannot avoid pain.
- realize too that what you call 'the biggest tragedy'
is in fact not true - who controls who ? Indeed, most people are controlled, often negatively, by their thoughts, etc. However, rest assured that, with practicing mindfulness, we can learn to still our minds from all that burdens us, renders fear, anxiety, painful memories/experiences, etc.
- realize that ALL is transient, never lasts forever. Life, loss & death go together; every day we have to let go; the more we attach to whatever, the more we suffer !
Please accept this 'review' more as counsel from an 'old witch' than otherwise, i.e. knowing you have her empathy, understanding & love.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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If not a review, would give you 6 stars, for TOUCHING me with your feelings, anxieties, all you express so honestly.
Please grant me reacting to 'even in my twenties': so young & so much opportunity for dis-covering, learning, etc.:
- why you 'became' reserved (I understand !)
- who you really ARE = NOT what others or you THINK you are;
- try to see new faces just as new, as yours is to others.
- try to not THINK in certain, conditioned terms/evaluation.
- allow your mind to expand, embrace the unknown fearlessly.
- realize that we cannot avoid pain.
- realize too that what you call 'the biggest tragedy'
is in fact not true - who controls who ? Indeed, most people are controlled, often negatively, by their thoughts, etc. However, rest assured that, with practicing mindfulness, we can learn to still our minds from all that burdens us, renders fear, anxiety, painful memories/experiences, etc.
- realize that ALL is transient, never lasts forever. Life, loss & death go together; every day we have to let go; the more we attach to whatever, the more we suffer !
Please accept this 'review' more as counsel from an 'old witch' than otherwise, i.e. knowing you have her empathy, understanding & love.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2014
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Thank you for reading and reviewing. I had just 150 words and I tried my best.
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I am not criticizing, the opposite actually: empathizing with content, reacting to with compassion, understanding & best intention.
So nothing to defend Anupam ! Love Sue xxx
Comment from Karen B.
You're described your entire life in terms of your fears, it takes courage to do that. Perhaps you'll find that sharing so deeply here on FS will help you realize your power to let those fears go. I believe you have much more courage than you give yourself credit for.
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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You're described your entire life in terms of your fears, it takes courage to do that. Perhaps you'll find that sharing so deeply here on FS will help you realize your power to let those fears go. I believe you have much more courage than you give yourself credit for.
Comment Written 19-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Thank you very much for your thoughtful review, Karen. Sharing of fears certainly makes one stronger. I appreciate your comments.
Enjoy the day! :)
Comment from judiverse
You did a great job with this, and it must have been difficult to tell your story in 150 words. You made a great choice in focusing on the death of your grandfather as a life-changing event for you. You indicate that his loss has made you wary of forming new relationships for fear of losing those people. So true that we can't control our thoughts, and they can sometimes lead to dark memories and influence our present behavior. A very thoughtful exploration of your life. judi
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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You did a great job with this, and it must have been difficult to tell your story in 150 words. You made a great choice in focusing on the death of your grandfather as a life-changing event for you. You indicate that his loss has made you wary of forming new relationships for fear of losing those people. So true that we can't control our thoughts, and they can sometimes lead to dark memories and influence our present behavior. A very thoughtful exploration of your life. judi
Comment Written 19-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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As you know, I'm not into story-writing yet. I just wrote whatever I felt and tried to keep it under the word-limit. I'm glad you found it influential. Thank you for another lovely review.
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You're so welcome. judi
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You're welcome. It is interesting to work with different types of writing. judi
Comment from me_tudor
That was interesting Anupam. You are still young and have a lot of living to do. Hopefully you will get over your fears and learn to live life to the fullest. :)
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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That was interesting Anupam. You are still young and have a lot of living to do. Hopefully you will get over your fears and learn to live life to the fullest. :)
Comment Written 19-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Hi, ME.
I'm trying my best and things are much better now. I appreciate your sharing of thoughts. Thank you for this lovely review.
Comment from Mike Battaglia
My good sir... You have written you entire life in less than 150 words. And within it, you have stripped yourself bare. I felt this. It hit me deep in the core, and that, to me, is what makes brilliant writing brilliant. You've painted a portrait of yourself, as you see yourself. Read it again. Keep reading it. This is who you are; what makes you you. The fact that you have opened up your soul onto the page makes this poignant beyond words. Well done!
:)
--Mike
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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My good sir... You have written you entire life in less than 150 words. And within it, you have stripped yourself bare. I felt this. It hit me deep in the core, and that, to me, is what makes brilliant writing brilliant. You've painted a portrait of yourself, as you see yourself. Read it again. Keep reading it. This is who you are; what makes you you. The fact that you have opened up your soul onto the page makes this poignant beyond words. Well done!
:)
--Mike
Comment Written 19-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Hi, Mike. :)
Please don't call me "Sir"....I am blushing...heh-heh.
It was a bit difficult to write this all. I'm a poet, so I didn't know how this will be received. I appreciate your encouragement.
Glad you liked this. Thank you for sponsoring this interesting prompt and this thoughtful review. :)
Comment from Jackarrie
You have told your story very well, exposed your inner fears of losing your loved ones. We all have these thoughts but find ways of dealing with our fears. Prejudices can cover so many aspects of life, not sure which ones you talk about.
A short poem about fear.
She wouldn't try for fear she'd die
she didn't try so she died
she wouldn't try for she she'd die
But when she tried her fears they died ( anonymous)
Good luck in the competition. Mary
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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You have told your story very well, exposed your inner fears of losing your loved ones. We all have these thoughts but find ways of dealing with our fears. Prejudices can cover so many aspects of life, not sure which ones you talk about.
A short poem about fear.
She wouldn't try for fear she'd die
she didn't try so she died
she wouldn't try for she she'd die
But when she tried her fears they died ( anonymous)
Good luck in the competition. Mary
Comment Written 19-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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I agree--we all have fears and we have to learn to deal with them.
I appreciate your thoughtful comments. Thank you for reading and reviewing.
Comment from rama devi
Namaste dear brother Anupam,
This is poignant. So sad. Thank you for sharing your inner self openly. That's brave--not the action of one full of fear. I think you're stronger than you think you are.
I love how the last sentence is a closing not of positivity and hopefulness, but I think it needs a stronger lead in...Prejudices rule my mind seems more of the opposite of listening to the inner voice freely. Maybe saying they USED to rule your mind would make more sense...a transition or transformation would be implied.
You might also consider trimming out filler words and using contractions (since it is your 'voice' you need not write in a formal tone). That way, you'd be able to maximize meaning with each of the allotted 150 words.
A couple of examples:
During my childhood, I was very reserved
In childhood, I was reserved
I have spent many sleepless nights in the fear of their departure,
I've spent many sleepless nights in fear of their departure,
The harder we try to forget, the more painful do collisions get within.
The harder we try to forget, the more painful our inner collisions.
A couple of small suggestions:
*
I don't give others the free space easily for relations(relationships) to bloom.
*Perhaps,(no ,) it's a precautionary step to escape from the futuristic pains.
It's a huge challenge to process the passing of a loved one in your younger years. I'm sorry for your loss and long grieving. You must have loved him very much.
Best wishes and Divine Light,
rd
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Namaste dear brother Anupam,
This is poignant. So sad. Thank you for sharing your inner self openly. That's brave--not the action of one full of fear. I think you're stronger than you think you are.
I love how the last sentence is a closing not of positivity and hopefulness, but I think it needs a stronger lead in...Prejudices rule my mind seems more of the opposite of listening to the inner voice freely. Maybe saying they USED to rule your mind would make more sense...a transition or transformation would be implied.
You might also consider trimming out filler words and using contractions (since it is your 'voice' you need not write in a formal tone). That way, you'd be able to maximize meaning with each of the allotted 150 words.
A couple of examples:
During my childhood, I was very reserved
In childhood, I was reserved
I have spent many sleepless nights in the fear of their departure,
I've spent many sleepless nights in fear of their departure,
The harder we try to forget, the more painful do collisions get within.
The harder we try to forget, the more painful our inner collisions.
A couple of small suggestions:
*
I don't give others the free space easily for relations(relationships) to bloom.
*Perhaps,(no ,) it's a precautionary step to escape from the futuristic pains.
It's a huge challenge to process the passing of a loved one in your younger years. I'm sorry for your loss and long grieving. You must have loved him very much.
Best wishes and Divine Light,
rd
Comment Written 18-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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It's always painful to lose the dear ones. Thankfully, things are much better now. It was a nice challenge to describe my life in just 150 words. Initially, I was too hesitant in posting this.
I will make those corrections soon. Thank you for your constructive feedback. I will keep them in mind if I write anything like this in future. I appreciate your thoughtful sharing of thoughts.
Enjoy the day! :)
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Thank you for sharing this openly, Anupam. The positive side of being faced with intense grief at a young age is that it helps build compassion-muscles and a longing within to understand the mysteries of life and death--a spiritual thirst. The best blessing.
Love and Light and Namaste,
rd
Comment from Carolyn 'Deaton' Stephens
Anupam, what a great short story of your life. It is difficult to do that in such few words. I liked the line:
I had my own little world to explore and live in. Good luck in the contest.
Well done, Carolyn
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Anupam, what a great short story of your life. It is difficult to do that in such few words. I liked the line:
I had my own little world to explore and live in. Good luck in the contest.
Well done, Carolyn
Comment Written 18-Apr-2014
reply by the author on 20-Apr-2014
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Thank you for your thoughtful review.