Comment from Schalk Jacobs

Excellent

I get the idea that something is about to happen that is going to change the outcome of this novel drastically. Excellent writing and I especially like the fact that you show the reader a glimpse of what is transpiring on Grace's side of the story.

 Comment Written 23-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 23-Sep-2014

Thank you, Schalk. I'm so glad you wanted to catch up on the book. I really appreciate this.

Comment from Selina Stambi

Excellent

Hi Harriett,

I have a feeling Nathan is having second thoughts. I am hoping against hope that sanity will prevail, and Grace will take him back.

Good storytelling, my dear Auntie! :)

Sonali



I (have) let him down, let Grace down

Nathan pushed away ( ..) from the breakfast table ... feels like you've missed some words here.

but the humor never reached his gorgeous blue eyes .. suggest: drop 'gorgeous'. It's better not to overdo the descriptions and detail. As they say on this site ... 'show' rather than 'tell'.

had quite enough of me and my sorted love-life." .. did you mean 'assorted'? Or sordid? Sordid would work well.

He (hunched?) his shoulders.

living room and eased (himself) down in(to) the overstuffed
chair

There was no ice box in the cabin, so they made(no hyphen required here) do with warm sweet tea.

Margaret talked on-and-on about how much Nathan would .. the hyphens are not required

shook his head (at) all the right (moments,) but heard very little of what she was saying

How would she ever know that none of that was true? ... suggest: leave this sentence out. (It's partially true, anyway ... :))

Pearl finished packing (all of) Nathan's things and .. suggest: .. remove 'all of' ... the sentence is fine without it.

the black photo album Nathan had brought ear(l)ier. "Hand

of them and the Korens at the (annual church) picnic.

Nathan rolled (off) Margaret onto his back, sweating ... drop 'of'

Suggest: ....rested her head (against) his pounding (heart). She circled his (bare) chest with her finger as she spoke.

 Comment Written 22-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 22-Sep-2014

Thank you so much for these corrections. I really appreciate you taking the time.

Comment from Writingfundimension

Excellent

Very good chapter, Amahra. Lots of emotion for the reader to enjoy and also keep the suspense building. It looks to me like Grace might be on the verge of having a change of heart. I look forward to reading more.

:) Bev

 Comment Written 21-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Sep-2014

Thank you, Bev.

reply by Writingfundimension on 21-Sep-2014

:)

Comment from Ric Myworld

Excellent

Thanks for the pleasure of another great chapter that shows the gnawing emotions that have Nathan torn between staying or leaving for England. :-)

 Comment Written 21-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Sep-2014

Thank you, Ric.

Comment from padumachitta

Excellent

Hi. Well it is starting to round up. I am wating and not patiently to see what the final ending will be.
This line:
In Europe, people were practically immune to scandals; they'd lived with them a lot longer than Americans. Say - about five or six centuries longer?

Well, it made me smile. How true it is in some ways still today.

padumachitta

 Comment Written 21-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Sep-2014

Thank you, padumachitta. I hate making readers wait, but they'll scream if I make the chapters too long. I really wanted to make this the last chapter, but no one would have read, because of the length. Thanks for hanging in there with my story. Hope you like fantasy fiction; it's my next book.

reply by padumachitta on 21-Sep-2014

Hi. I like the longer stuff...personally I don't like short chapters(I do read at least 2 'real' books a week)...hey ho, people want in and out for their bit of memeber money.
Fantasy is my fav genre:-)
So I am definitly on boeard...
padumachitta

reply by the author on 21-Sep-2014

I wish everyone was like you. I started to take a chance and put the last chapter on with a lot of fan money to compensate for the length, but I chickened out "puck puck puck" LOL

Comment from chasennov

Excellent

Chapter 21 of the book The Animal Doctor A treasure at the end of the rainbow "Once More My Love (Part 1)" What a lovely chapter you have created here in your Romance Fiction. Well done.

 Comment Written 21-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 21-Sep-2014

thanks.

reply by chasennov on 21-Sep-2014

Pleasure.

Comment from L.M.Mullins

Excellent

Excellent chapter. I have not read any of your prior chapters, but with the help of your notes and your writing style I was able to read through it without losing interest.
LM

 Comment Written 20-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014

thank you, L.M.Mullins

Comment from kiwijenny

Excellent

Nathan is throwing away everything good...his little daughter and Grace who loves him...Margaret is used to getting things her own way....
Self centered...it can't last
God bless

 Comment Written 20-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014

Thank you, kiwijenny. Hope you stick around for the ending chapter.

Comment from sibhus

Excellent

Some excellent writing that makes for a good chapter. Your characters seem to real flesh and blood people and you show the feelings in a very nature way. this makes for some great reading.

 Comment Written 20-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014

Thank you, sibhus. Really appreciate it.

Comment from drivenbackward

Excellent

Good chapter, amahra. You seem to have knack for the genre. A few notes to consider:

Say - about five or six centuries longer? -- Need dash. That looks like a hyphen.

"No thank you." -- Comma after 'No'.

"Don't be, Mrs. K. -- Move back one spot.

He humped his shoulders. -- LOL. Huh? Do you mean 'slumped'?

A little heavy on the semi-colons in this chapter. They're necessary at times, but they're not very appealing to the eye when they're used a lot. No big deal. Just thought I'd mention it.

 Comment Written 20-Sep-2014

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reply by the author on 20-Sep-2014

Thank you very much for reading and for your comments and suggestions. My writing has dashes but when I copy and paste it on to this site all the dash turn to hyphens. Don't know why. I have been getting rid of some of my semi colons. He humped his shoulders means, "I don't know. You've been very helpful. Again, thank you