The Sergeant and I
After learning of another brain surgery21 total reviews
Comment from Janet7053
the acts of war can be so cruel upon the mind. You paint this beautifully in words contain in your conversations on the porch. Gut wrenching! I am a donor to St. Jude and see these little brave angels month after month.
Thank you for writing and my prayers are for your granddaughter.
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the acts of war can be so cruel upon the mind. You paint this beautifully in words contain in your conversations on the porch. Gut wrenching! I am a donor to St. Jude and see these little brave angels month after month.
Thank you for writing and my prayers are for your granddaughter.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2015
Comment from kiwigirl2821
This one brought tears to my eyes. It is better than good truly and I hope that your little granddaughter has done well in her surgery. Love is strong and cures many things. xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2014
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This one brought tears to my eyes. It is better than good truly and I hope that your little granddaughter has done well in her surgery. Love is strong and cures many things. xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 01-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2014
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kiwigirl2821, I apologize for just responding to this review. thank you ever so much. My granddaughter is doing very well. Her surgery was successful. Again thank you... jlsavell
Comment from w.j.debi
Oh, my heart goes out to you and yours, and my prayers, too. I hope your granddaughter comes though her surgery and heals completely. It sounds like she has a supporting and loving family, and that helps so much.
Excellent and heartfelt poetry that takes an emotional slice of life and offers it with such honesty.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2014
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Oh, my heart goes out to you and yours, and my prayers, too. I hope your granddaughter comes though her surgery and heals completely. It sounds like she has a supporting and loving family, and that helps so much.
Excellent and heartfelt poetry that takes an emotional slice of life and offers it with such honesty.
Comment Written 18-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2014
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w.j.debi, thank you ever so much for stopping by once again. I appreciate you. Yes, Sarah has a huge family and we have been through this before, she is the brave one.. again thank you... jimi
Comment from Lovinia
Hi Jimi
I'm so sorry to hear the news of Sarah's surgery, yet as you say and as she's proved already, she is a trooper with fight. I wish her the very best ... and much love and hugs to her and her family, of course you. So much for such a little girl ... I'm sure she has her Grandma's spirit.
Your poem is outstanding ... really you make this kind of free verse seem so easy. I wish I could do work like this. Vivid descriptions, a gentle and compassionate lament for the man who once was. War does terrible things, even to those who are not physically wounded. My aunt was a war bride ... an American flyer she loved and travelled so far to be with. She lived with the screams in the night, and so much more. (WWII)
I can't even select a special favourite verse, each one is striking in its own way. What a remarkable picture you have painted, yet also convey the emotions of a life-time ... past joy and deep sadness. Destruction of a life, lives through no fault other than society's lust for killing and the greed of war.
A powerful write which so deserves a six ... I did consider waiting two more days to review. Then I was afraid I might 'forget' in the fuzzy wuzzy of my sometimes brain.
Brilliant ... you have exceptional talent Jimi. Love and hugs - Lovi xoxox
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2014
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Hi Jimi
I'm so sorry to hear the news of Sarah's surgery, yet as you say and as she's proved already, she is a trooper with fight. I wish her the very best ... and much love and hugs to her and her family, of course you. So much for such a little girl ... I'm sure she has her Grandma's spirit.
Your poem is outstanding ... really you make this kind of free verse seem so easy. I wish I could do work like this. Vivid descriptions, a gentle and compassionate lament for the man who once was. War does terrible things, even to those who are not physically wounded. My aunt was a war bride ... an American flyer she loved and travelled so far to be with. She lived with the screams in the night, and so much more. (WWII)
I can't even select a special favourite verse, each one is striking in its own way. What a remarkable picture you have painted, yet also convey the emotions of a life-time ... past joy and deep sadness. Destruction of a life, lives through no fault other than society's lust for killing and the greed of war.
A powerful write which so deserves a six ... I did consider waiting two more days to review. Then I was afraid I might 'forget' in the fuzzy wuzzy of my sometimes brain.
Brilliant ... you have exceptional talent Jimi. Love and hugs - Lovi xoxox
Comment Written 17-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2014
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Lovinia, you wish you could do work like this? Friend, you far exceed any talent I might possess. You humble me greatly.
I thank you so much for stopping by to read and review. Yes, our Sarah is a trooper and she is ready to once again "get this thing out of her head". She has been through a lot, as you well know. Last year she came out victorious after two brain surgeries and ten weeks of being comatose. 15 weeks total in the hospital.
I would like to think she has at least a little of me in her.. not too much..lol..
again sweet friend, thank you... Jimi
Comment from kiwijenny
This old man scarred and marred
Such a proud one once, before that war
Young, filled with dreams, void of terrifying screams
His bright blue eyes dulled from the spoil and years of emotion's toil
ahhh
But I remember their beauty once upon a distant time
What war did and does is untold toil on families...so sad for you and your ten year old granddaughter..I will be praying for her
God bless
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2014
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This old man scarred and marred
Such a proud one once, before that war
Young, filled with dreams, void of terrifying screams
His bright blue eyes dulled from the spoil and years of emotion's toil
ahhh
But I remember their beauty once upon a distant time
What war did and does is untold toil on families...so sad for you and your ten year old granddaughter..I will be praying for her
God bless
Comment Written 16-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2014
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kiwijenny, thank you ever so much for stopping by to read and review my work. Yes, war is devastating to all involved.. Sarah is a trooper, she has been through this before last year. We are just grateful her Doctor found it before it ruptured, so unlike last year when we did not know if she was going to survive.. again thank you.. jlsavell
Comment from Ronni
This is indeed a most searing heart wrenching story dear
Jimi! That it is such very personal and haunting one
set anguish and heartache bells tolling full blast!
No one, except those who have known it or witnessed
it through a spouse or family member, ever know or see
the full scale, depth and demise that lays embedded
forever and irreparably; with such hell and havoc,
as you so grimly, yet so totally candidly, related
on your Sergeant; ex-husband. No one but you and him,
and family, can ever even begin to conceive the years
of such travesty and tragedy of a man and soldier from
the effects and aftermath of such a dastardly war! Yet
you have so graphically and indelibly enumerated some
of the worst and most knee-buckling and soul-weeping kind.
I am sure it no small triumph that you could indeed
so bravely and objectively, and put pen to task to
reveal the on going pain and heartbreak, even after all
these many years. Yet you did so, ever so illustriously
and with unabashed integrity and dignity. That took
a lot of fortitude and haunting forbearance no doubt.
Your last parting lines and departure from your visit
to Sergeant, spills a cache of tears inevitably, and
likely did no less so for you. I admire your stamina
and your strength in sharing this incredibly dramatic
and traumatic reflection and experience. Thanks for
sharing. Love and blessings, Ronni
P.S Jimi: Very concerned to note the 3rd pending brain
surgery for your precious granddaughter, Sarah, truly my
heart and prayers are with you and your family. Hope
this resolves it for her; that is quite an ordeal for
a child. She must truly be a trooper of the toughest kind,
look who her Grandma is...you..and that no less a fighter
and Grandpa...the Sergeant God bless you all!
Love, Ronni
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2014
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This is indeed a most searing heart wrenching story dear
Jimi! That it is such very personal and haunting one
set anguish and heartache bells tolling full blast!
No one, except those who have known it or witnessed
it through a spouse or family member, ever know or see
the full scale, depth and demise that lays embedded
forever and irreparably; with such hell and havoc,
as you so grimly, yet so totally candidly, related
on your Sergeant; ex-husband. No one but you and him,
and family, can ever even begin to conceive the years
of such travesty and tragedy of a man and soldier from
the effects and aftermath of such a dastardly war! Yet
you have so graphically and indelibly enumerated some
of the worst and most knee-buckling and soul-weeping kind.
I am sure it no small triumph that you could indeed
so bravely and objectively, and put pen to task to
reveal the on going pain and heartbreak, even after all
these many years. Yet you did so, ever so illustriously
and with unabashed integrity and dignity. That took
a lot of fortitude and haunting forbearance no doubt.
Your last parting lines and departure from your visit
to Sergeant, spills a cache of tears inevitably, and
likely did no less so for you. I admire your stamina
and your strength in sharing this incredibly dramatic
and traumatic reflection and experience. Thanks for
sharing. Love and blessings, Ronni
P.S Jimi: Very concerned to note the 3rd pending brain
surgery for your precious granddaughter, Sarah, truly my
heart and prayers are with you and your family. Hope
this resolves it for her; that is quite an ordeal for
a child. She must truly be a trooper of the toughest kind,
look who her Grandma is...you..and that no less a fighter
and Grandpa...the Sergeant God bless you all!
Love, Ronni
Comment Written 16-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2014
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Ronni, sweet friend, thank you ever ever so much for such an in depth and eloquent review. We all have a history, do we not? Sometimes it is painful and sometimes it is joyous, but always it inspires people like you and I to put it to pen. Thank you ever so much for believing this was an exceptional write, I am humbled.. Jimi
Comment from fdgsr
This is a hidden saga in verse, more than a poem. I love your internal rhymes and the irregular syllable counts of the lines. The rhythm of the writing carries it through. I love this. As a retired Army officer, it resonates through my years of life as though I knew Sergeant personally. Maybe I did. I was a corporal and a major, but never a sergeant or a general. My Army buddies thank you, too.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2014
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This is a hidden saga in verse, more than a poem. I love your internal rhymes and the irregular syllable counts of the lines. The rhythm of the writing carries it through. I love this. As a retired Army officer, it resonates through my years of life as though I knew Sergeant personally. Maybe I did. I was a corporal and a major, but never a sergeant or a general. My Army buddies thank you, too.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2014
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fdsgr, hello sweet friend. I hope you are doing well. Your support of my work is truly humbling. I thanked the Sergeant for you and he in turn Thanks you and I do too. Jimi
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Thank you Jimi, These are the remedies for melancholy. Is Sergeant your husband or another relative or friend? You could find one of my poems about a Sergeant. I did it in the basic rhythm of The Gambler. I think you reviewed it. It starts with the line, "On an airplane bound for somewhere..." If I get out to look it up, I may lose my train of thought to respond to your rely. At 86, I am losing the short term memory to keep on track. Randomness is not a hazard except when in pursuit of perfection, which I abandoned years ago. Yet I cling to truth and accuracy for all that I do. Thank you for your positive support for my own works. Enjoy!
Comment from pearlecat
Jimi, This is a sad but well penned story. You have painted this picture in such detail one could see it as if it were infront of them. So well described in poetic verse. So many excellent lines.
I'm so sorry to hear about your granddaughter. Let me know how things go please. I'll say a prayer for her. Pearl
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2014
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Jimi, This is a sad but well penned story. You have painted this picture in such detail one could see it as if it were infront of them. So well described in poetic verse. So many excellent lines.
I'm so sorry to hear about your granddaughter. Let me know how things go please. I'll say a prayer for her. Pearl
Comment Written 14-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2014
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pearlecat, your reviews always leave me speechless and with a swell. I appreciate you for not only you but your in depth and perceptive comments when reviewing my work. I am truly humbled..thank you Jimi
Comment from Ben Colder
Combat leadership, to get them all home alive, but never happens. This is a deep scare that never heals, drugs , booze, other only, only temp.VA Hosp, JOKE. Praying for you grandchild. Tell SARG. Well done.
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2014
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Combat leadership, to get them all home alive, but never happens. This is a deep scare that never heals, drugs , booze, other only, only temp.VA Hosp, JOKE. Praying for you grandchild. Tell SARG. Well done.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2014
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Ben Colder, thank you ever so much for stopping by to read and review my offering. I concur with your comments. I will tell him most definitely and THANK YOU for your prayers regarding Sarah. She is a strong little girl and is ready for the surgery. again thank you very much.. jlsavell
Comment from kiwisteveh
Oh, what a tragedy revealed in your notes - does it seem a little trite to say that it has inspired a marvellous poem?
Do I call this free-style? In any case it is a rare ability amongst our FS poets to be able to 'ramble' and yet be fully in control of the seemingly throw-away rhymes and wordplay.
Here, the tragedy of your grand-daughter's illness is relegated to sub-plot, overshadowed by the other tragedy of a life torn apart by war. Too many gems descriptive of human nature to list - I loved the stained canvas and driveway, the fags, the flag, the whole thing...
If this doesn't get a good shot at Poem of the Month, I'll eat my hat.
Steve
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2014
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Oh, what a tragedy revealed in your notes - does it seem a little trite to say that it has inspired a marvellous poem?
Do I call this free-style? In any case it is a rare ability amongst our FS poets to be able to 'ramble' and yet be fully in control of the seemingly throw-away rhymes and wordplay.
Here, the tragedy of your grand-daughter's illness is relegated to sub-plot, overshadowed by the other tragedy of a life torn apart by war. Too many gems descriptive of human nature to list - I loved the stained canvas and driveway, the fags, the flag, the whole thing...
If this doesn't get a good shot at Poem of the Month, I'll eat my hat.
Steve
Comment Written 14-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 19-Oct-2014
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kiwisteveh, thank you ever so much for stopping by to read and review my work. For you to rate this as exceptional is indeed humbling, for I consider you an exceptionally talented writer. Yes, some of my favorite poets of old seem to ramble like this.
again a big thank you!!!! jlsavell