Upon Newfound Eyes
Shakespearean Sonnet18 total reviews
Comment from michaelcahill
I hope an extra six puts this in contention for POM. Wow! Congratulations no the birth of your son. What a spectacular tribute to his birth and in general to all birth where the purest of hope resides. The parallel to the birth of Christ is put forth with feelings instead of words. What wonderful words that go beyond simple correct meter into a perfect flow of sense and art. This is the message of Christianity as it is meant to be if one wants to look at it that way. Love that line, "can see the world's descent to rising shine". Awesome. Pure hope and faith. Then the reality of humanity in the volta. But, the hope remains and is so uplifting to feel. Indeed this will be one of the children who enriches the world. NEVER enter a sonnet contest I am in, it would only bring you heartache. Hahaha!!!! mikey
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2014
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I hope an extra six puts this in contention for POM. Wow! Congratulations no the birth of your son. What a spectacular tribute to his birth and in general to all birth where the purest of hope resides. The parallel to the birth of Christ is put forth with feelings instead of words. What wonderful words that go beyond simple correct meter into a perfect flow of sense and art. This is the message of Christianity as it is meant to be if one wants to look at it that way. Love that line, "can see the world's descent to rising shine". Awesome. Pure hope and faith. Then the reality of humanity in the volta. But, the hope remains and is so uplifting to feel. Indeed this will be one of the children who enriches the world. NEVER enter a sonnet contest I am in, it would only bring you heartache. Hahaha!!!! mikey
Comment Written 12-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2014
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Thank you so very much. I miss reading your work. I LOVED the prompt piece. I'll be back on more soon friend. Thank you thank you thank you
Comment from ravenblack
A beautiful sonnet. Hard to read on my phone, but I could not wait until I got home to simply say congratulations on the birth of your son! May you bring much joy to each other.
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2014
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A beautiful sonnet. Hard to read on my phone, but I could not wait until I got home to simply say congratulations on the birth of your son! May you bring much joy to each other.
Comment Written 11-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2014
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Thank you! You're the best. I miss you. I'll be back on soon!
Comment from IndianaIrish
It's so wonderful to be reading your poetry again, Greg. Welcome back! Your poem is wonderful, and your rhymes, flow, and enjambment make for a stunning read. As a baby nurse for thirty-five years, the birth of a baby still moved my heart with each first breath and cry. I loved the image of wings being opened...keep flying.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2014
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It's so wonderful to be reading your poetry again, Greg. Welcome back! Your poem is wonderful, and your rhymes, flow, and enjambment make for a stunning read. As a baby nurse for thirty-five years, the birth of a baby still moved my heart with each first breath and cry. I loved the image of wings being opened...keep flying.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment Written 11-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2014
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Aww thank you. Miss you so much. I'll be back on very soon! Thank you so so much Karyn. Truly.
Comment from Dawn Munro
...sighing, Gregory...this is lovely, and happens to be one of my favorite forms (if you remember) (it's been awhile!). That closing couplet is simply superb. Just a beautiful sonnet.
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2014
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...sighing, Gregory...this is lovely, and happens to be one of my favorite forms (if you remember) (it's been awhile!). That closing couplet is simply superb. Just a beautiful sonnet.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2014
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Aww thank you so much. I miss you. I'll be back on soon! Busy but happy;). Truly miss you
Comment from Ben Colder
Have been missing you. I find this stanza the strongest of the poem. Excellent. I wish had 6 stars, but fresh out. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2014
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Have been missing you. I find this stanza the strongest of the poem. Excellent. I wish had 6 stars, but fresh out. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2014
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Thank you Ben! Been a while! I'll be back on soon. Truly thank you.
Comment from Spitfire
Congraulations! Hope the baby gets your good looks. I wondered what happened to you.
a father's gifted journey just embarked --definitely you are in for the trip of your life.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2015
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Congraulations! Hope the baby gets your good looks. I wondered what happened to you.
a father's gifted journey just embarked --definitely you are in for the trip of your life.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2015
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Aww thank you. You're the best. Sorry it took a while to get back. I'll be back on soon! Busy! Miss you...
Comment from kiwijenny
He enters His creation built for him,
this blossomed life so fragile now begins
Oh holy child your light will never dim,
for you are home wherever glory lives
Just beautiful
So glad to see your name in my messages.
God bless
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2015
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He enters His creation built for him,
this blossomed life so fragile now begins
Oh holy child your light will never dim,
for you are home wherever glory lives
Just beautiful
So glad to see your name in my messages.
God bless
Comment Written 09-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2015
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Oh you are Fantastic. I'm sorry for taking so long! I've been away of course. I'll be back soon. Truly THANK YOU so very very much Jenny miss you...
Comment from Domino 2
Hi, Gregory.
A Shakespearean sonnet either has a rhyme scheme of ABAB, CDCD, EFEF, GG
OR
ABBA, CDDC, EFFE, GG.
The volta should be in the 9th line.
I'm not sure if you're talking about the birth of Christ, or not?
Maybe I'm dim, but I don't understand, 'mysteries aligned' or 12th line.
However, excellent iambic pentameter throughout, and thought-provoking words make this a very smooth and interesting read.
Best wishes, Ray
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2014
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Hi, Gregory.
A Shakespearean sonnet either has a rhyme scheme of ABAB, CDCD, EFEF, GG
OR
ABBA, CDDC, EFFE, GG.
The volta should be in the 9th line.
I'm not sure if you're talking about the birth of Christ, or not?
Maybe I'm dim, but I don't understand, 'mysteries aligned' or 12th line.
However, excellent iambic pentameter throughout, and thought-provoking words make this a very smooth and interesting read.
Best wishes, Ray
Comment Written 09-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2014
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Hi Ray! Thanks for the compliment! I used ABAB CDCD EFEF GG near rhymes as exact rhymes do not appeal to me. Often Shakespeare utilized his Volta in the final couplet though. I'm open to your thoughts though! Please explain Ray
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Thanks for your gracious reply, Gregory.
Because all the rhymes in each stanza are so similar, I wasn't sure which were supposed to match. You say you don't like 'near' rhymes, but there are lots of them in the scheme you describe: 'embarked/start' 'begins/lives'
'climb/eyes' 'aligned/shine', and I think they're all excellent.
You may be right about Shakespeare using the 2-lne couplet as the volta, but I never heard that. Mind you, my knowledge is limited and only gained on fanstory.
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Sory, Gregory - I misread you saying they don't as they DO.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
A very nice sonnet depicting Gods gift of His son to this woe begotten world. I do like the picture even though it has an Orange sky? I wondered about the twelfth line of the poem.
I respectfully offer a suggestion.
can see the world's descent to rising shine (should it be)
can see the world ascend to rising shine.
Descent to rising would be an oxymoron wouldn't it?
A lovely sonnet and I like you Volta in the closing couplet! Well done Greg. :<) Nancy
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2015
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A very nice sonnet depicting Gods gift of His son to this woe begotten world. I do like the picture even though it has an Orange sky? I wondered about the twelfth line of the poem.
I respectfully offer a suggestion.
can see the world's descent to rising shine (should it be)
can see the world ascend to rising shine.
Descent to rising would be an oxymoron wouldn't it?
A lovely sonnet and I like you Volta in the closing couplet! Well done Greg. :<) Nancy
Comment Written 09-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2015
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Thank you! I'm so honored you read this. I'm sorry it took a while to get back, I've been away. But I'll be back on soon again! Truly thank you.
Comment from Treischel
A wonderful sonnet that embodies the mystery and delight of a newborn baby as engaged by its fathers. Excellent imagery of the inspired mood that transcends the event. Well written Sonnet.
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2015
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A wonderful sonnet that embodies the mystery and delight of a newborn baby as engaged by its fathers. Excellent imagery of the inspired mood that transcends the event. Well written Sonnet.
Comment Written 09-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 12-Jan-2015
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Hello my friend. I'm sorry it took a while to get back, I've been away. But I'll be back on soon again! Truly thank you. I'm grateful you read this. You're the master of sonnets. It means a lot that you liked it. Truly.