Life, Love, and Other Disasters
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Broken Bird"A collection of poems on these themes
47 total reviews
Comment from MissMerri
A most beautiful and moving free verse that obviously has deep meaning beyond the bird. I actually think this is one of the best free verse poems I've read in a long, long time, and I think perhaps the judges missed something here, but it isn't my call, of course. Anyway, I think it is beyond exceptional. It is a poem for publication and I hope you do send your work to poetry magazines. I love this one. MM
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2016
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A most beautiful and moving free verse that obviously has deep meaning beyond the bird. I actually think this is one of the best free verse poems I've read in a long, long time, and I think perhaps the judges missed something here, but it isn't my call, of course. Anyway, I think it is beyond exceptional. It is a poem for publication and I hope you do send your work to poetry magazines. I love this one. MM
Comment Written 23-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2016
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Adonna, thanks for this sterling review and the high praise. O am a little down on the committee at the moment, and have been all year. I know it sounds a little like sour grapes, but some of their recent decisions have astounded me,not just because my piece didn't win, but because the piece that did win was clearly not the best entry...
I haven't had much luck submitting to magazines - perhaps I haven't found the right ones. Nancy K's Page and Spine have been good enough to publish a few and I really should send more her way rather than vainly entering FS contests. I have also submitted some to other contests outside FS, with a little bit of success. If I ever have time, I will put together a selection of my best pieces as a book and try to get them published that way - not that poetry books are ever going to be best sellers!
Thanks again for the kind words and the six stars.
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I sincerely hope you will make that book. I, for one, would like a copy. ;p I'm sure there are many others as well.
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I sincerely hope you will make that book. I, for one, would like a copy. ;p I'm sure there are many others as well.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
A very powerful poem, my friend. Excellent free verse with alliteration really adding to it. Best wishes in the contest, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2016
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A very powerful poem, my friend. Excellent free verse with alliteration really adding to it. Best wishes in the contest, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 20-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2016
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Thanks, Debbie!
Steve
Comment from Liberty Justice
AWESOME! Dear poet, this is truly one of your most finest masterpieces. Take a bow. Seems you were talking about a bird taking flight; however, I think you were speaking of a love affair, in which the lover could not hold on to the other one. This other lover was wild and wanted to be free like a bird and didn't want to be tied down. Beautiful literary strategies. I am in awe. WELL DONE! Take a bow! liberty justice
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2016
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AWESOME! Dear poet, this is truly one of your most finest masterpieces. Take a bow. Seems you were talking about a bird taking flight; however, I think you were speaking of a love affair, in which the lover could not hold on to the other one. This other lover was wild and wanted to be free like a bird and didn't want to be tied down. Beautiful literary strategies. I am in awe. WELL DONE! Take a bow! liberty justice
Comment Written 19-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2016
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LJ, thank you for the very warm words and the six stars - much appreciated.
Steve
Comment from frogbook
This is a very descriptive and compelling write that draws the reader in right away and keeps their interest. Great metaphors and phrasing.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2016
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This is a very descriptive and compelling write that draws the reader in right away and keeps their interest. Great metaphors and phrasing.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2016
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Thanks for the kind words.
Steve
Comment from Mary Wakeford
This is a beautiful free verse with in my interpretation, meaning far beyond a wounded bird, but more of a wounded lover that brought so much pain to this relationship and this truest of loves, it could not be saved, thus a painful ballad ensued.
If I'm totally off on this and it really is of a wounded aviary, then you are a smokin' good poet, Steve. Brilliant I must say. I've read it four times to be sure I took it all in. Absolutely tremendous!
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2016
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This is a beautiful free verse with in my interpretation, meaning far beyond a wounded bird, but more of a wounded lover that brought so much pain to this relationship and this truest of loves, it could not be saved, thus a painful ballad ensued.
If I'm totally off on this and it really is of a wounded aviary, then you are a smokin' good poet, Steve. Brilliant I must say. I've read it four times to be sure I took it all in. Absolutely tremendous!
Comment Written 18-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2016
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Thanks, Mary for the thoughtful review and the six shiny stars.
Yep, pretty much everything I write (apart from humour and kids stuff, I suppose) can be read on different levels - so we have the extended metaphor of the wounded bird and the guy who loves her and how it affects them both. So you were spot on with your interpretation.
Steve
Comment from Kingsrookviii
Great use of language and direct message. I find the artwork as very interesting, too. It reminds me of something from some of the American Indians, but the text is somewhat formal and classical. Great work. Bruce.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2016
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Great use of language and direct message. I find the artwork as very interesting, too. It reminds me of something from some of the American Indians, but the text is somewhat formal and classical. Great work. Bruce.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2016
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Bruce, thanks for reviewing - glad you enjoyed.
Steve
Comment from Marykelly
There seems to be much more inference than statement in this poem so I infer from the poem that your love was emotionally wounded and in spite of efforts to the contrary could not recover enough to have a successful loving relationship. The metaphor of a wounded bird is well sustained throughout the poem. The tone has a sadness that makes the reader want to help.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2016
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There seems to be much more inference than statement in this poem so I infer from the poem that your love was emotionally wounded and in spite of efforts to the contrary could not recover enough to have a successful loving relationship. The metaphor of a wounded bird is well sustained throughout the poem. The tone has a sadness that makes the reader want to help.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2016
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Thank you. Mary.
Yep, pretty much everything I write (apart from humour and kids stuff, I suppose) can be read on different levels - so we have the extended metaphor of the wounded bird and the guy who loves her and how it affects them both. So you were spot on with your interpretation.
Steve
Comment from nancyjam
This is such a powerful, stunning free verse.
The bird, metaphor for a fragile soul in pain,
who knows not how to love or accept love, is
amazing, as you blend the two together. I think
I will bookcase this one as it is a lesson on
how to write an absolutely beautiful, touching
free verse. Well worth a 6.
Nancy
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2016
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This is such a powerful, stunning free verse.
The bird, metaphor for a fragile soul in pain,
who knows not how to love or accept love, is
amazing, as you blend the two together. I think
I will bookcase this one as it is a lesson on
how to write an absolutely beautiful, touching
free verse. Well worth a 6.
Nancy
Comment Written 18-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2016
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Nancy, thank you so much for the very kind words and the six stars. You have summed up the essence of the piece really well - something that has escaped quite a few reviewers.
Steve
Comment from rspoet
This is exceptional free verse writing
sure to come in second or third (lol),
though If I were the judge,
it would be the winner
(though admittedly, I haven't read all entries)
A fine writer can write in almost any form
I know you love your rhymes, but this poem is superb free verse
with excellent imagery and a sensational ending
My one little hiccup was the "trills and thrills"
a little throwback from your rhyming poems
But maybe it's just me,
still, exceptional work
another "should be the winner"
Maybe this time it will!
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2016
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This is exceptional free verse writing
sure to come in second or third (lol),
though If I were the judge,
it would be the winner
(though admittedly, I haven't read all entries)
A fine writer can write in almost any form
I know you love your rhymes, but this poem is superb free verse
with excellent imagery and a sensational ending
My one little hiccup was the "trills and thrills"
a little throwback from your rhyming poems
But maybe it's just me,
still, exceptional work
another "should be the winner"
Maybe this time it will!
Comment Written 18-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2016
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Thanks for the great review and the six shiny stars. I guess, I should stop whining about not winning and just get on with writing the best I can.
Actually, if you look carefully, you might find a few more rhymes, and some regular meter! - this started life as something that was not quite free verse at all...
Very glad that you enjoyed this.
Steve
Comment from heyjude
Steve, wow. How very sad. The words you used brought this poem
to life and showed the emotion behind it. Phrases like ... a broken bird, a soul thrice wounded, and tattered feathers. Some people have such a hard
time every getting past abuse done in their lives. How do you help a
wounded soul.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2016
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Steve, wow. How very sad. The words you used brought this poem
to life and showed the emotion behind it. Phrases like ... a broken bird, a soul thrice wounded, and tattered feathers. Some people have such a hard
time every getting past abuse done in their lives. How do you help a
wounded soul.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2016
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2016
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Jude, thanks for the lovely, empathetic review.
Steve