Comment from frierajac

Excellent

I like this so far the most of the abstract poems I've read. It would even be appropriate for you to have a chat with your dog in this one, or mention a dream of an ostrich or some other creature. I'm not saying change it, fine as is.It stimulates response.

 Comment Written 18-Sep-2017

Comment from country ranch writer

Excellent

Really nice presentation for the poem it is very nice. Weather is very unpredictable and you never know what goes on in the atmosphere around us at all.

 Comment Written 18-Sep-2017

Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

I am glad the Potlatch challenge inspired you to create an abstract poem. Your title and presentation were very appealing. I admired your use of alliteration and appeal to our sense of sound as well as sight. Cheers- Joan

 Comment Written 18-Sep-2017

Comment from l.raven

Exceptional

HI Michael, I really love the wording in this poem...I don't do so many of the forms...but hope one day to stop and learn...for me I love morning...and late evening...and love them more with snow...very nicely written...and your colors are beautiful...express your words...love Linda xxoo

 Comment Written 17-Sep-2017

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reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017

Hi Queen of Sweetness. :))

I DO read all of these you know. Thanks so much for all of your reviews. They mean the world. Love to you. xxoo mike

reply by l.raven on 25-Sep-2017

your soooo welcome Michael....smiling back at ya...love ya...xxoo Linda

Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

Mikey,

I confess, I'm never smart enough to quite figure out all you have to say. You're very wise and very emo and very savvy and therefore I just sit and think and play with your words in my mind until I THINK I have a grasp on them. *smile* (Like playing with building blocks.) But I can't play ALL DAY...so here's what I have. How far off am I this time???

pennies in the fountain -- making wishes
hurricanes and tornadoes - recent events
roots remaining -- so far the earth is holding up
though she's 'fault-ridden
dream of a fissure, and the excited flow - is those who believe in climate change
and the burn that was 'unexpected'
which actually 'burned' OUR clouds
so, now, the happy clouds are in the high heavens
and where the snows are falling
and back here on the farm,
rivers never form, and oceans dry up (or overfill, or whatever)
while we sit at home with the fire

Because we can never toss enough pennies or hopes or dreams into the well...

Okay -- what's my score?

*smile*

 Comment Written 17-Sep-2017

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reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017

Hi, Robyn

I HAD to come back and find this buried in the horror that is my incompetence. LOL What a great review and you score MORE than 100 percent since your interpretation is even better than what I had in mind. Yes, you're on the money. Wow. You can read my mind AND make more sense of it than I do. Thanks so much. mike :))

reply by robyn corum on 25-Sep-2017

Hahahahaha!! Once again, I thought you'd stopped speaking to me because of my belligerence. Thanks for responding. Big hugs!

reply by the author on 25-Sep-2017

I'll never stop speaking to you. You're just DARLING when you're feisty!!!! :)) mike ooxx

Comment from rama devi

Exceptional

Wonderful work, Mike. I love the flow and phrasing and how you sculpted it with indents. A beautiful presentation too.

Lots of fine alliteration, great imagery and consistent tone and tenor. I do think you need a hyphen on: fault-ridden


Love the pensive tone and the AHA delivery in the closing stanza.

Cant quote my favorite bits because I am unable to copy and paste the text...but I loved reading all of it aloud.
Love all the F sounds, especially
Just awesome work!

Love,
rd

PS the six is because the poem deserves it and NOT because you had just given me one! just FYI!

 Comment Written 17-Sep-2017

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reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017

WOW! I'm so thrilled you liked this. I sooooo like this style of expression. It's a bit more difficult to understand, but I like to pause and contemplate things so I like things like this. Remember Ravenblack? He wrote things one had to think about. There's a couple others here. Anyway. Thanks a trillion. I know you don't just trade sixes. :)) mike

reply by rama devi on 17-Sep-2017

I loved it, Mike! I guess I like abstracts as they draw you in deeper. I miss Ravenblack, among others. So many of our best ones left. But there are always new members arriving too.

Funny, becuse todya a friend told me my poetry is inaccessible to the general readers (over thier heads) and she suggested I write to the readership's level. I tried that today in my ABAB. Two reviewers already mentioned they understood it and usually don't understand my poems. Interesting.

:-)))

reply by the author on 17-Sep-2017

Ahh ... I do that all the time, write "understandable" things. LOL
It isn't the norm or natural for me though. But it is more well received. On the other hand, I'd rather be well received by folks I admire for works that are more ME, yes? :)) mike

reply by rama devi on 17-Sep-2017

YES! :-))))) Exactly

Comment from kiwigirl2821

Excellent

Hello Michael. I might try one of these as my mind rambles with the best of them hahahahaha...Loved the flow and the presentation too. You did good my friend. xoxo deborah

 Comment Written 17-Sep-2017

Comment from Pearl Edwards

Excellent

A lovely abstract free verse mikey, and you've covered a lot of different thoughts in this, such as, for me anyway, the mind meanders from one thought to another in the sleepless early morning. I love your ending lines, very nicely done.
cheers.

 Comment Written 17-Sep-2017

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very well-written abstract poem. Snow is a rarity here, but I enjoy each moment when it does snow. I even enjoy the very cold temperatures under the warm blankets.

 Comment Written 17-Sep-2017

Comment from alf collier

Excellent

Great stuff!!! The read is really good, though shrouded in the mystery of intent LOL. Much enjoyed this... and will take lessons!!

 Comment Written 17-Sep-2017