Comment from Mustang Patty

Excellent

Hi, Craig;
With each line of your poem, I felt my patriotic heart roar into life. How on earth can one person fight the tides of change coming our way?

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, and continuing your quest to write the perfect free verse poem,

~patty~

 Comment Written 07-Jan-2018

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reply by the author on 07-Jan-2018

Hi Patty, my aims are somewhat less lofty than that - I'd settle for writing a good one :)

Much appreciated,
Craig

Comment from RGstar

Excellent

In this one I am still trying to identify the antagonist to the victim. Still not sure I know who is who. Yet, this is well written.
I am glad you placed a word that I have never heard of in your notes.

Not your mistake, just me perhaps not on point. The poem and its rhetoric is clear, just do not know if the bad guys are those with the power or the vigilantes against.

Well written.
Best wishes.
RGstar

 Comment Written 06-Jan-2018

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reply by the author on 06-Jan-2018

Hi RGstar,

I'm happy to try and clarify a bit, since you ask :)

There are no "good guys" and "bad guys" as such - or perhaps, more accurately, maybe it's everyone. I'm trying to address the apparent polarisation of political opinion that seems to be a worldwide phenomenon at the moment; the middle ground seems to be shrinking at an alarming rate.

The first stanza, with its simmering "pot of pious prattle" is meant to reflect how right-leaning folk generally view liberal thought. The second is perhaps more obvious - how the left of centre crowd view conservatives.

From there, it tries to move into a general comment about the futility of the "us vs them" approach. As for who is speaking at the end - well, I guess it could be anyone with a significant amount of power who publicly indicates their disdain for anyone with views different to their own; someone who would rather bring down destruction upon everyone than be shown to be "wrong". Take your pick :)

I hope that helps a bit. Possibly with some work, I could have made those things clearer, but (a) I'm on a limited time allocation, and (b) I kind of like the thought of just throwing ideas out there, and letting them fall as they will.

Thank you for the kind and supportive comments. All the best,

Craig

reply by RGstar on 06-Jan-2018

Brilliant. Thanks Craig. exceptional writing. I like when a piece is well thought out. Good you said there were no separation between, just a single entity, now I am clearer. I appreciate it. Loved some of the terms used there, even if I didn't copy and past. Bravo.

Comment from Joy Graham

Excellent

Oh yes! I'd love to read about a new word every day this year. Please do that :) This is a fun poem with nice rhythmic lines. I enjoyed your free verse story. I'm not good at free verse, but enjoy when somebody else gets it right. This is right along my line of thinking :)

 Comment Written 06-Jan-2018

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reply by the author on 06-Jan-2018

Thanks, Joy, for the kind words in support of my venture into scary territory (free verse). Much appreciated - Craig

Comment from --Turtle.

Excellent

Hi, Craig,

I might read your daily poems out of order, but I'm playing some catchup today.
(I wanted to do some reading/ reviewing yesterday... and the day before, but my significant other handed me a vomit laden child the other day, and yesterday, he handed me a video game controller and demanded I fight zombies with him.

Freeverse is outside my comfort zone too. (sometimes like walking into a blind tunnel, where I don't know what to expect as I read.) I read this through twice, first to map out the walk, and second to just experience the flow of thoughts without expectations of rhymes. (Not because I think it has to, but because I'm used to it when I read your stuff, so I noticed this being a new thing)


A pot of pious prattle (Very strong first pair of lines, lots of imagery
simmers slowly on the stove, (like the way words work with each other... the alliteration, and the initial set of tone. What I came away with: we have an abundance of something cooking, pious prattle is a great combo... gives the sense of self rightious, in the 'face of' religion, but minus the actual good things that might come from a pious heart. And the pot and prattle gives the sense of chatter, kind of like when the water boils, and it nudges the pot lid to chatter)

tax avoidance scheme.
(The theme continues through here, pointing at a lot of thumping at words considered important enough to get into people's lives and business over, while simutaneously ignoring the callings of those same important words to help those without.)

at those on the other shore;
(I liked in this set, how even in today's more scary technologies, and the horrifying capacity humanity has reached for destroying things, the phrasings here root back into simpler, barbarian times. Savage times.)

anachronistic tripe.
(The poem, being free form, has a nice use of words that tickle the cerebral with an acrobating of inner ear sounds. Has a sophisticated tone of disdain, frustration, and observation.)

they are made to burn.
(And there are a lot of bridges to burn. Less and less each day.)


If we can't learn to get along(,)
it matters not to me; (suggest if/then comma ... the 'then' is implied)

I'll proudly shout(,)? "I've won!"
(maybe this comma? I think because ... actually I'm not sure about this comma, and it's not a big deal)

I don't get the satisfaction of being the winner of nothing, but I'm sure that there will be some thoughts of 'my destruction is more bigly than yours' ... as destruction devastates all. : (

 Comment Written 06-Jan-2018

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reply by the author on 06-Jan-2018

Fighting zombies? Ah ha! Now I know how those fight sequences in Betrayal end up being so good... Actually, that's not a bad idea - Betrayal would make a terrific video game. Just remember who suggested it when you're rich and famous :)

Thanks for the excellent, detailed review, Turtle. Very much appreciated.

Craig

Comment from bichonfrisegirl

Excellent

Luv the humor and satire in this piece, Craig. SoOO very true ... what good is it to be right if we can't get along?!

Excellent poetic devices used in the writing of this piece. Great alliterations sprinkled throughout, and you give your readers something to ponder, while at the same time teaching us a new word (pontitecture). Always great to learn new words.
Very well written and presented, and a pleasure to read. I enjoyed! ~~ Connie

 Comment Written 06-Jan-2018

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reply by the author on 06-Jan-2018

Thanks very much for the lovely comments, Connie. I'm enjoying discovering all the new words too - although, don't ask me what any of them mean a year from now, my retention rate isn't so good these days. (Oops - bad word - "retention")! I'm hoping maybe a few will stick. Much appreciated - Craig

reply by bichonfrisegirl on 06-Jan-2018

I think a lot of us are in the same boat, Craig. I find my mind is a sieve lately. Much of what goes in, comes right back out again. We can take comfort in knowing that we're not alone. :)

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very well-written free verse, in my opinion, you bring across the behavior of the human race. The one tries to build bridges, while another tries to burn them down.
There are humans that are evil, and satan worshippers, that need to be placed under control so that they don't destroy our countries.

 Comment Written 06-Jan-2018

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reply by the author on 06-Jan-2018

Thanks again for the thoughtful review, Sandra. All the best, Craig

Comment from Gloria ....

Excellent

Excellent free verse, Craig. Your opening image of a of a pot simmering with pious prattle alludes to a pot that might soon boil over. And while a pot should be food it seems in reality to not contain food at all.

And rather than focusing on good, practical feeding of the poor we're instead focused on war. Tribalism does tend to bring out the worst in human kind.

Excellent truth in the futility in building bridges when they'll only be destroyed.

To me your poem speaks of hope, but also shows it will all come to naught if the motivation is simply to win.

Great job with a fantastic free verse. I certainly hope you will write more as they are my absolute most favourite form, if that's of any consequence. :)

Great job! And pontitecture is a lovely word in tone and meaning.

Gloria

 Comment Written 05-Jan-2018

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reply by the author on 06-Jan-2018

Not sure if that will persuade me to flirt with this scary form more often, Gloria, but such kind words from someone so adept at the genre are a nice thing to get :) Many thank, Craig

reply by Gloria .... on 06-Jan-2018

I know exactly how you feel! lol. I've often likened writing free verse to going downtown nekked. The supporting framework of rhymed and metred verse is clothing of great comfort. That said, you are very good at FV, so yes, do venture into the form more often.

Comment from Phyllis Stewart

Excellent

Wow! Powerful piece. You had me at "hello"... A pot of pious prattle
simmers slowly on the stove...

Love the blunt ending, too. You don't often write free verse, but you're awfully good at it, so perhaps you should write more. :)

 Comment Written 05-Jan-2018

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reply by the author on 05-Jan-2018

Thanks very much for the lovely, generous comments, Phyllis. I feel like a fish out of water each time I abandon my beloved crutch of rhyme - but who knows? Maybe I'll throw another couple in somewhere. Much appreciated :) Craig

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

Craig,

You did a great job with this free verse for your word of the day. I like the great use of alliteration & you create great imagery with your well-chosen words. This "Fire & Fury" is very current & will be in the news for a while probably. Good job on your challenge for the year. Thanks for sharing & teaching us the new words in context. Jan

 Comment Written 05-Jan-2018

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reply by the author on 05-Jan-2018

Thanks very much for the lovely review, Jan. I'm very grateful - Craig

Comment from Sugarray77

Excellent

Well, I liked your free verse poem, but had trouble with the big, new word. It will be fun to see what you pull out of the hat for your next try. I'm not familiar with your new book, but I'm going to look for it. Regards.

 Comment Written 05-Jan-2018

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reply by the author on 05-Jan-2018

I can recommend it whole-heartedly. Thanks for a great review. Craig