The Piper
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "The Piper, part 20"Young Adult Fantasy
19 total reviews
Comment from May 1
I agree with Troy. It sounds foolish to go alone. Yes, I had a feeling Burkehart was heading that way. It sounds like trouble is brewing. Great chapter and nice way to build up tension, I love it.
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2020
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I agree with Troy. It sounds foolish to go alone. Yes, I had a feeling Burkehart was heading that way. It sounds like trouble is brewing. Great chapter and nice way to build up tension, I love it.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2020
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2020
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Hi May 1,
Yes, Burkehart has his own way of doing things. Glad to hear you like the way the tension is building.
Wow, five chapters today!
Thank you so much.
Debi
Comment from Writingfundimension
Hi, Debi
It's so great to see how this story has developed into a really good fantasy novel. You have all the elements of the genre, including enigmatic characters, the physicality of the settings, and the mixture of human and fae. I find myself with conflicting feelings about Burkehart's departure... excitement for his search and concern for his safety. Again, the conflict plays very well into this type of novel. So well done, my friend.
:) Bev
reply by the author on 07-May-2018
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Hi, Debi
It's so great to see how this story has developed into a really good fantasy novel. You have all the elements of the genre, including enigmatic characters, the physicality of the settings, and the mixture of human and fae. I find myself with conflicting feelings about Burkehart's departure... excitement for his search and concern for his safety. Again, the conflict plays very well into this type of novel. So well done, my friend.
:) Bev
Comment Written 04-May-2018
reply by the author on 07-May-2018
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HI Bev,
It is so good to hear from you! I still remember the fun we had in our writing workshop. I miss your stories, but I'm sure those kids are keeping you busy.
Thank you for the encouraging comments about The Piper. And for the very generous six stars!
I am having fun writing this and doing the research on Europe in the mid 1200's when it is set. I am mixing some historical facts and names with the totally fantasy parts. I recently took a class on synopsis writing so I have the synopsis all done. I just need to get the rest of the chapters inked.
Debi
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You're very welcome, Debi. It's really nice to see you pulling out the stops and bringing your story to life! :) Bev
Comment from Spitfire
Haven't heard from you in a long while. It's good to read more about the Fae and Piper. Nice mix of narration and dialogue. I like the part of the bad weather in this.
reply by the author on 03-May-2018
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Haven't heard from you in a long while. It's good to read more about the Fae and Piper. Nice mix of narration and dialogue. I like the part of the bad weather in this.
Comment Written 02-May-2018
reply by the author on 03-May-2018
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HI Shari,
Life has been throwing me a few curves the last few months. I posted this thinking I would have plenty of time to respond and go lots of reviews, but job interviews have eaten up most of my week. I guess I can't complain. At least I am getting some interviews. Hoping now for an actual offer. I get so stressed out interviewing, hoping, crossing my fingers.
Thanks for dropping in to read an comment. I appreciate the comments about the writing. It is encouraging.
Comment from Artasylum
Hi W.J.,
This is a fun other worldly read! You flush out your characters very well. the artwork is reminiscent of the Hobbit novels. Great stuff. Thanks so much. Yours, Diana
reply by the author on 01-May-2018
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Hi W.J.,
This is a fun other worldly read! You flush out your characters very well. the artwork is reminiscent of the Hobbit novels. Great stuff. Thanks so much. Yours, Diana
Comment Written 01-May-2018
reply by the author on 01-May-2018
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Hi Diana,
Thank you for the encouraging review. I am happy to hear you found this fun to read.
Debi
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
Really well written as with all the chapters I have read thus far. I didn't see any errors and have no suggestions for improvement. I look forward to reading more, I am going back and reading first chapter. Enjoying it. Rox
reply by the author on 03-May-2018
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Really well written as with all the chapters I have read thus far. I didn't see any errors and have no suggestions for improvement. I look forward to reading more, I am going back and reading first chapter. Enjoying it. Rox
Comment Written 01-May-2018
reply by the author on 03-May-2018
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Hi Rox,
Thank you for dropping by to read and review. I am happy to hear you are enjoying the story. That is music to my ears, especially that you are going back to earlier chapters. Thank you!
Debi
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Good to see you back on FS, Debi.
-I always enjoy your story about Piper.
-We haven't heard from Burkehart in quite a while.
-It was nice to know he was with the musicians.
-The chapter is a good way to set up
what Burkehart will discover, and
what we will learn about Piper, his
state of mind, as well as the
musicians, including Rupert.
reply by the author on 03-May-2018
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-Good to see you back on FS, Debi.
-I always enjoy your story about Piper.
-We haven't heard from Burkehart in quite a while.
-It was nice to know he was with the musicians.
-The chapter is a good way to set up
what Burkehart will discover, and
what we will learn about Piper, his
state of mind, as well as the
musicians, including Rupert.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 03-May-2018
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Thank you for your patience and for your encouragement. It means a lot that you continue to be interested in the story when there has been such a long break between posting this chapter and the last one.
Sorry too for the time it took to respond to your review. I had several interviews this week for a new job and it has taken up a lot more time than I anticipated, but at least I am getting some interviews.
I appreciate the generous six stars. It really brightens my day.
Debi
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You are very welcome for the review, stars, and continued support of your story, Debi. I am glad the stars brightened your day! Good luck with your interviewing and hope it all works out for you.
Comment from rspoet
Hello W.J.,
It's wonderful to see part 20 appear. Patience is rewarded.
This is an excellent continuation of the story
with solid dialogue showing the concern and unease.
Burkehart is true to character, one would expect him to continue
his pursuit of the Summerstorm and the fae (the story must have an antagonist)
as well as finding Piper and Rupert.
One small suggestion:
"standing at the window staring into the darkness? Cool, fresh air leaked through the [sash] and brushed his face," (to avoid repeating window)
It will be good to see Piper, Redd-Leif, and others.
Well done, my friend
RS (Robert)
reply by the author on 03-May-2018
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Hello W.J.,
It's wonderful to see part 20 appear. Patience is rewarded.
This is an excellent continuation of the story
with solid dialogue showing the concern and unease.
Burkehart is true to character, one would expect him to continue
his pursuit of the Summerstorm and the fae (the story must have an antagonist)
as well as finding Piper and Rupert.
One small suggestion:
"standing at the window staring into the darkness? Cool, fresh air leaked through the [sash] and brushed his face," (to avoid repeating window)
It will be good to see Piper, Redd-Leif, and others.
Well done, my friend
RS (Robert)
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 03-May-2018
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Hi Robert,
I am so happy to hear you enjoyed this chapter. I know it has been months since I posted the last chapter. Thank you for your patience and for you continued interest in the story. I made the change you suggested. Thank you for the comments and the recommendation.
Debi
Comment from Meia (MESAYERS)
A stronger gust of wind whipped his cloak about him then settled back to a steady breeze. Satisfied he was alone, Burkehart turned up the street and headed, not for Hanover, but back the way they had come. Somewhere out there a fairie wolf lurked in the forest, and that creature might lead him to Piper and Rupert, and perhaps the fairie realm itself.' such an exciting well-written story! it has something for everyone a real triumph here, well done kindest regards Meia x
reply by the author on 03-May-2018
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A stronger gust of wind whipped his cloak about him then settled back to a steady breeze. Satisfied he was alone, Burkehart turned up the street and headed, not for Hanover, but back the way they had come. Somewhere out there a fairie wolf lurked in the forest, and that creature might lead him to Piper and Rupert, and perhaps the fairie realm itself.' such an exciting well-written story! it has something for everyone a real triumph here, well done kindest regards Meia x
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 03-May-2018
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Hi Meia,
Thank you for the encouraging comments. It is especially appreciated since you are such a good story teller. You make my day!
Debi
Comment from meeshu
an excellent story is brewing here, W.J. I like the shadow of uncertainty that permeates the tale. the Captain is a flawed hero, I predict. well penned, I look forward to more.........meeshu
reply by the author on 03-May-2018
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an excellent story is brewing here, W.J. I like the shadow of uncertainty that permeates the tale. the Captain is a flawed hero, I predict. well penned, I look forward to more.........meeshu
Comment Written 30-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 03-May-2018
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Hi meeshu,
Thank you for taking time to stop by, read and comment on the story. I appreciate your encouragement and love the comment about that you look forward to more.
Debi
Comment from Alexander Vasa
Hello, you have a nice easy to read style both in dialogue and your descriptive writing. It reads smoothly, and the only thing I'll bring your attention to is this:
His men were hardened and tanned soldiers, ??
Did you mean tanned?
I liked this additional chapter for your novel, and best of luck with it, Ana.
reply by the author on 03-May-2018
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Hello, you have a nice easy to read style both in dialogue and your descriptive writing. It reads smoothly, and the only thing I'll bring your attention to is this:
His men were hardened and tanned soldiers, ??
Did you mean tanned?
I liked this additional chapter for your novel, and best of luck with it, Ana.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2018
reply by the author on 03-May-2018
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Hi Anastasia,
Thank you for the excellent review. I also appreciate you letting me know the question it raised for you. I do believe I mean "tanned" since the soldiers spend a lot of time outdoors training and performing their duties and their skin would become tanned from the sun and weather. Let me know if it raised different imagery for you. I would appreciate knowing how you interpreted it.
Thank you again for taking time to read and review. I appreciate your interest and support.
Debi