Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Hand In Hand"A book of Poetry & Writing
103 total reviews
Comment from Amfunny
I am not sure what message your poem is conveying. I do believe that you should lowercase the word "birds." It does fall within the 15 word limit though. Love the old photograph.
reply by the author on 20-May-2010
   |
I am not sure what message your poem is conveying. I do believe that you should lowercase the word "birds." It does fall within the 15 word limit though. Love the old photograph.
Comment Written 20-May-2010
reply by the author on 20-May-2010
-
thanks
Comment from fayesh
I like the optimistic tone of the poem, but the images (metaphors) seem not to fit each other. What is "the faith of love?" And how does it "bloom?" Flowers bloom. Try "the flowers of love bloom" . I think it will fit better since you later refer to another aspect of nature - "birds"
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 20-May-2010
|
I like the optimistic tone of the poem, but the images (metaphors) seem not to fit each other. What is "the faith of love?" And how does it "bloom?" Flowers bloom. Try "the flowers of love bloom" . I think it will fit better since you later refer to another aspect of nature - "birds"
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-May-2010
reply by the author on 20-May-2010
-
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
-
I was not considering author rank in my rating, but merely the artistry of the poem as it currently stands. If you want to go by rankings alone, then often "truth' is forsaken and so is literary merit.
Comment from Pili Pubul
This is perhaps the shortest love poem I read, yet is a very moving image you created so well. Good luck in the contest.
The faith of love blooms high this day
As Birds on wing do hail
reply by the author on 20-May-2010
|
This is perhaps the shortest love poem I read, yet is a very moving image you created so well. Good luck in the contest.
The faith of love blooms high this day
As Birds on wing do hail
Comment Written 20-May-2010
reply by the author on 20-May-2010
-
thank you Pili
-
You welcome.
Comment from words
What a lovely verse.
Loved the photo.
The verse suggests so much about, love ,hope future.
Love the simple closing line:
As Birds on wing do hail
Very well done!
reply by the author on 20-May-2010
|
What a lovely verse.
Loved the photo.
The verse suggests so much about, love ,hope future.
Love the simple closing line:
As Birds on wing do hail
Very well done!
Comment Written 20-May-2010
reply by the author on 20-May-2010
-
thank you words
Comment from seewhatimwritingnow
Lovely picture- short 2 line poem sending an equally lovely message. Wishing you the best of luck with you very nice contest entry! Betty
reply by the author on 20-May-2010
|
Lovely picture- short 2 line poem sending an equally lovely message. Wishing you the best of luck with you very nice contest entry! Betty
Comment Written 20-May-2010
reply by the author on 20-May-2010
-
thank you Betty
Comment from misscookie
I love the photo taken many of the lovely lady years ago when there was only black and white films
I love the way you express how faith is combine with love. This is a good write.
reply by the author on 20-May-2010
|
I love the photo taken many of the lovely lady years ago when there was only black and white films
I love the way you express how faith is combine with love. This is a good write.
Comment Written 20-May-2010
reply by the author on 20-May-2010
-
thank you
-
youare very welcome.Have a nice evening.
Comment from c_lucas
This is a very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very easy read. There is very good imagery and descriptive scheme. Good luck in your contest.
reply by the author on 20-May-2010
|
This is a very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very easy read. There is very good imagery and descriptive scheme. Good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 20-May-2010
reply by the author on 20-May-2010
-
thank you
-
You are welcome.
Comment from jmdg1954
I thought that was apicture of my mother when it first came up... I live in Jersey, but my mom didn't arrive from Italy until 1952, but the similarities, wow..
I love the words as they flow so consicely...
As birds on wing do hail...
Good luck in the contest.. John
reply by the author on 20-May-2010
|
I thought that was apicture of my mother when it first came up... I live in Jersey, but my mom didn't arrive from Italy until 1952, but the similarities, wow..
I love the words as they flow so consicely...
As birds on wing do hail...
Good luck in the contest.. John
Comment Written 20-May-2010
reply by the author on 20-May-2010
-
thank you
Comment from Penpal
Very poetic cadence within this short poem, and I enjoyed it. What I liked most is its implication of spring-fever by using the word faith. Good job.
PEn
reply by the author on 20-May-2010
|
Very poetic cadence within this short poem, and I enjoyed it. What I liked most is its implication of spring-fever by using the word faith. Good job.
PEn
Comment Written 20-May-2010
reply by the author on 20-May-2010
-
thank you
Comment from fastdigits
Spring, when in deed birds are
on the wing again and a man's
thoughts turn to, well, as you
say, the faith that love will
come their way.
Well done and good luck
reply by the author on 20-May-2010
|
Spring, when in deed birds are
on the wing again and a man's
thoughts turn to, well, as you
say, the faith that love will
come their way.
Well done and good luck
Comment Written 20-May-2010
reply by the author on 20-May-2010
-
thank you