Reviews from

Writings From the Heart

Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Over the Top 1914 Eastern Front"
A book of Poetry & Writing

238 total reviews 
Comment from Razz
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

So very wonderfully expressed.

What evil times has carnage chosen
For judgment on this land
With scorn and tears we greet him here
We are ready to make our stand

Now fix bayonets went the battle cry



A wonderful tribute.
Have a blessed day.
razz

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 07-Jul-2010
    thank you Razz
reply by Razz on 07-Jul-2010
    My Pleasure.
    Razz
Comment from Alexandra.Obreja
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi deepwater,

Our dead will mock the searing heat->>this reminds me of a song from the musical "Les miserables" called "Do yo hear the People sing?" YOu poem has that battlefield tone and as i was reading it i had an image in my mind of ghost soldiers watching over the other ones in the battled.

Beautiful poem!
Have a wonderful day!
Alex

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 07-Jul-2010
    thank you for the review Alex
Comment from anabellapongasi
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The picture of war is always sad and ugly. Whoever invented it? For whatever reason a war is for - for soldiers fighting in a war it is about killing or getting killed. (or maybe more?)
Anabella

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 07-Jul-2010
    thank you anabell for the review
Comment from RKagan
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wow, I know so little about the first world war, but your poem seems to have captured the essence. I think that there is a running theme of death and destruction regardless of the war in question. HOwever, I loved the choice of art work and the way that the poem flows. Good job

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 07-Jul-2010
    thank you RK for this review
Comment from MitchellScott
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

War is so very different now. New generations won't ever, I don't feel, will ever truly understand what those soldiers went through. I don't take anything away from those who are put into battle today, but this is a reminder of past times.

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 07-Jul-2010
    thank you for the review Mitchell
Comment from Inge_Meldgaard
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A moving poem that says so much without overdoing the description of the situation. The rhythm is excellent, and the way in which the last line stands alone is so well done. The presentation adds to the poem as well.

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 07-Jul-2010
    thank you ingem
Comment from Perp Ihebom
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a sad reminder to the human race, of the ugly fact that wars have done nothing but harm us and ours. Indeed, our dead will do more than mock us if they have the power. well done

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 07-Jul-2010
    thank you for the review Perp
Comment from azierk
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The period you speak of was a pivotal time in this world that obviously led to another. I enjoyed your poem and I do not take it lightly I often remember those who went before us.

 Comment Written 07-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 07-Jul-2010
    thank you azierk
Comment from mohintl
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

really enjoyed the poem and look forward to reading more from you.
i love the picture it reminds me of the old south that i have read about keep up the good work

 Comment Written 06-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 07-Jul-2010
    thank you for this review
reply by mohintl on 07-Jul-2010
    your welcome
Comment from krdeering
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I realize that I'm reviewing this WAY late in the process, and yet I have a couple of suggestions for this poem. They concern the last two lines, which contrast with the rest of the piece because they lose the rhythm a little (just when you don't want that to happen). Perhaps you have a policy not to use quotes, etc., but I think it would really help in the last line, especially because of your use of the word "went," which masks the fact (at first) that you mean:

"Now fix bayonets!" went the battle cry

In the next-to-last line, you could remedy the small rhythm tic by simply creating a contraction. Instead of "We are ready to make our stand" it would become "We're ready to make our stand."

I like the series you are creating, and the unflinching descriptions of battle scenes, etc.

 Comment Written 06-Jul-2010


reply by the author on 07-Jul-2010
    thank you