King Sawyer
a story poem in rhyming couplets115 total reviews
Comment from krys123
Brooke,
First of all like to wish you good luck in the contest because this is an exceptional entry. It is written very well and very enjoyable to read this wonderful tale.
The rhyming was exceptionally neither of the rhymes were forced nor labored while your rhythm flowed smoothly throughout the poem because of its tempo and meter.
The motto or message in this poem was easy to understand and delivered in a way that was most enjoyable to read.
Thank you for sharing and posting this exceptional poem with everyone to read and may the Lord be with you always especially a time of need.
Alex
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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Brooke,
First of all like to wish you good luck in the contest because this is an exceptional entry. It is written very well and very enjoyable to read this wonderful tale.
The rhyming was exceptionally neither of the rhymes were forced nor labored while your rhythm flowed smoothly throughout the poem because of its tempo and meter.
The motto or message in this poem was easy to understand and delivered in a way that was most enjoyable to read.
Thank you for sharing and posting this exceptional poem with everyone to read and may the Lord be with you always especially a time of need.
Alex
Comment Written 06-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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Alex, I appreciate your thoughtful reading of my story poem and your generous sixth star :-) Brooke
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You are so sincerely welcome Brooke.
Alex
Comment from Just Pete
A perfectly told tale of children's favourite past times. Sandcastles at the beach give rise to young imaginations and inventiveness, usually with the help of a parent or two. An enjoyable read. Pete
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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A perfectly told tale of children's favourite past times. Sandcastles at the beach give rise to young imaginations and inventiveness, usually with the help of a parent or two. An enjoyable read. Pete
Comment Written 06-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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Pete, thank you for your gracious comments and generous sixth star :-) Brooke
Comment from RYME4U
This is another delightful Sawyer story. So well done and rhythmic. The rhymes within the lines are great, too. This is excellent work.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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This is another delightful Sawyer story. So well done and rhythmic. The rhymes within the lines are great, too. This is excellent work.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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RYME4U, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from boxergirl
Love your story poem about King Sawyer building sand castles by the sea. Great rhyming couplets and alliterations that make it flow as smoothly as the tide washing in from sea. 8-)
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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Love your story poem about King Sawyer building sand castles by the sea. Great rhyming couplets and alliterations that make it flow as smoothly as the tide washing in from sea. 8-)
Comment Written 06-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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Boxergirl, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Kaila Mari
Nothing to dislike; all to like. Perfect rhyming couplets that tell a fictional story. The picture adds to the imagery and helps the piece to clearly convey a child's world of fantasy. Great job; you are a sure contest winner. God bless!
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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Nothing to dislike; all to like. Perfect rhyming couplets that tell a fictional story. The picture adds to the imagery and helps the piece to clearly convey a child's world of fantasy. Great job; you are a sure contest winner. God bless!
Comment Written 06-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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Thanks so much, Kaila :-) I appreciate your generous sixth star and thoughtful contest wishes :-) Brooke
Comment from Kenneth Schaal
Outstanding story, and formatting (nice presentation too). I loved every line and word, but the line 'I thought the thought' threw me completely overboard with laughter. Ain't it true? Best of luck in the contest. Kenny
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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Outstanding story, and formatting (nice presentation too). I loved every line and word, but the line 'I thought the thought' threw me completely overboard with laughter. Ain't it true? Best of luck in the contest. Kenny
Comment Written 06-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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Kenny, I'm thrilled this made you laugh :-) Thanks so much for your generous sixth star :-) Brooke
Comment from rod007
You get in the child's imagination well. King Sawyer indeed! But then he was the king, and kings can do little but snooze and let it all happen. Well done, Brooke.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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You get in the child's imagination well. King Sawyer indeed! But then he was the king, and kings can do little but snooze and let it all happen. Well done, Brooke.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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Rod, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Domino 2
I hope the tide didn't destroy King Sawyer's castle and make him sad, Brooke. :-)
I always like the fun use of 'stuff' rather than more formal similar words. I can never refer to my writes as 'a piece' or 'a work', as I'd feel poncy, so I use 'stuff' instead.
As you say, it's better to be a vain King with nothing important to do, then the sometimes mindless idiots who wait at his beck and call.
Some VERY funny REAL LOL lines in this excellent read.
Cheers, Ray.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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I hope the tide didn't destroy King Sawyer's castle and make him sad, Brooke. :-)
I always like the fun use of 'stuff' rather than more formal similar words. I can never refer to my writes as 'a piece' or 'a work', as I'd feel poncy, so I use 'stuff' instead.
As you say, it's better to be a vain King with nothing important to do, then the sometimes mindless idiots who wait at his beck and call.
Some VERY funny REAL LOL lines in this excellent read.
Cheers, Ray.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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Glad you enjoyed my story poem, Ray - I had fun with this one :-) Brooke
Comment from nancy_e_davis
That's a very interesting story but it doesn't sound like our hands on Sawyer. Normally he would be in the thick of things giving instructions. Remember the umbrella? But really Brooke this is a fabulous story in a poem. I hope you win! Good luck. Nancy
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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That's a very interesting story but it doesn't sound like our hands on Sawyer. Normally he would be in the thick of things giving instructions. Remember the umbrella? But really Brooke this is a fabulous story in a poem. I hope you win! Good luck. Nancy
Comment Written 06-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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Nancy, my precious Sawyer is not like this at all. I hope I don't get in trouble with his mother. LOL Thanks so much for your review :-) Brooke
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That's what I said. No he would be in the thick of it but I loved the imagery of him searching for his shoes and socks while the walls were in peril. LOL
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He does in real life really love his wardrobe of shoes LOL He offers opinions on which ones to wear each day :-)
Comment from ElegantButler
I always love to read these delightful poems about Sawyer. They always bring a smile to my face. Every word as like a lyric in a children's song. One can hear the little Fischer-Price piano playing the tune as it's read-sung aloud.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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I always love to read these delightful poems about Sawyer. They always bring a smile to my face. Every word as like a lyric in a children's song. One can hear the little Fischer-Price piano playing the tune as it's read-sung aloud.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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Elegant Butler, thank you so very much :-) Brooke