Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Part One of Chapter 1"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
117 total reviews
Comment from Connie P
I'm so glad you're posting again. Bobby is a very classic, abusive jerk, I'm anxious to see how Anna deals with the situation.
Connie
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2011
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I'm so glad you're posting again. Bobby is a very classic, abusive jerk, I'm anxious to see how Anna deals with the situation.
Connie
Comment Written 06-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2011
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I am anxious to see how Anna deals with this jerk, too???? We shall find out together as my muse lets me know. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Charlene0513
To barbara.wilkey,
It is starting out to be a very explosive and dramatic beginning with her husband being the abusive bully that tends to lead women to a quick divrce or a life of misery if they refuse to leave.A ver over-powering and yet convincing beginning to impact your readers.
Charlene
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2011
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To barbara.wilkey,
It is starting out to be a very explosive and dramatic beginning with her husband being the abusive bully that tends to lead women to a quick divrce or a life of misery if they refuse to leave.A ver over-powering and yet convincing beginning to impact your readers.
Charlene
Comment Written 06-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2011
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Thank you for your kind review. It is not easy to get away from these men. I have had many friends in similar situations. Maybe that's why I feel I need to write this story.
Comment from lola29
The story left me wondering what in the world is Anna doing living with a loser like Bobby. She's punishing herself and for what? I'm hoping she finds a way out and soon.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2011
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The story left me wondering what in the world is Anna doing living with a loser like Bobby. She's punishing herself and for what? I'm hoping she finds a way out and soon.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2011
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I hope she does too. Many women feel trapped in that situation and I think that may be where Anna is. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from sgalletti
Hi Barbara. I enjoyed your introduction to Anna, Troy and Michael and think Anna cannot divorce Bobby soon enough LOL! Good development of plot and dialogue. One tiny spag. Add "she" in "Anna sat...as (she) shifted). Looking forward to future chapters. Hugs, Sue
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2011
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Hi Barbara. I enjoyed your introduction to Anna, Troy and Michael and think Anna cannot divorce Bobby soon enough LOL! Good development of plot and dialogue. One tiny spag. Add "she" in "Anna sat...as (she) shifted). Looking forward to future chapters. Hugs, Sue
Comment Written 06-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2011
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Thank you for your kind review. I will check that out. I am not sure if it should be set or sat. The diaper bag didn't sat, but it was set there. I will get my books out and see.
Comment from Writeaway...
Barbara, this is an in thralling start to a novel. You captured my mind what's going to happen to Anna? Is she going to end up dating this man who she bumped into at the libary? hmmn. I did notice I coupe of SPAGS however. this chin - should be his chin in paragraph seven. And lifted book, insert the before lifted. Overall though a fascinating read, keep writing, wishing you well!! :)
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2011
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Barbara, this is an in thralling start to a novel. You captured my mind what's going to happen to Anna? Is she going to end up dating this man who she bumped into at the libary? hmmn. I did notice I coupe of SPAGS however. this chin - should be his chin in paragraph seven. And lifted book, insert the before lifted. Overall though a fascinating read, keep writing, wishing you well!! :)
Comment Written 06-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2011
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Thank you for catching those errors. I hate it when I make those stupid mistakes. They are corrected.
Comment from MS Writer
This is quite a volitile beginning. You have given these characters depth even in the first chapter. We do so hate the husband who is a real troll. Anxious to read more.
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2011
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This is quite a volitile beginning. You have given these characters depth even in the first chapter. We do so hate the husband who is a real troll. Anxious to read more.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2011
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YEA!!!!! I wanted my readers to hate the husband from the beginning. I'm glad I achieved that. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from c_lucas
Evil Eddie changed the fonts of your last two sentences. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read. Good luck in your new endeavor.
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reply by the author on 06-Mar-2011
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Evil Eddie changed the fonts of your last two sentences. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for an easy read. Good luck in your new endeavor.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 06-Mar-2011
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I will take a look at EE's corrections. Thank you for your kind review.
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You're welcome, Barbara. Charlie