Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "October Morn"A book of Poetry & Writing
150 total reviews
Comment from Shirley McLain
I like your poem. You told your story in few words and it made sense. It flowed well and was easy to read. It did not seem forced. I did not find any spag.
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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I like your poem. You told your story in few words and it made sense. It flowed well and was easy to read. It did not seem forced. I did not find any spag.
Comment Written 26-May-2010
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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thank you for reading Tex
Comment from Judian James
Good Morning. This is a bit of a surprise due to the title and then the subject matter, which I didn't expect at all. It's good, but you went from a free verse sort of feel at the beginning of the piece to a very exacting internal rhymes and ending rhymes piece for the ending two-thirds. I found that a bit distracting and seemed to pick up the pace of the piece, rather than accepting the peace.
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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Good Morning. This is a bit of a surprise due to the title and then the subject matter, which I didn't expect at all. It's good, but you went from a free verse sort of feel at the beginning of the piece to a very exacting internal rhymes and ending rhymes piece for the ending two-thirds. I found that a bit distracting and seemed to pick up the pace of the piece, rather than accepting the peace.
Comment Written 26-May-2010
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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thank you for the comments Judian
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My pleasure!
Comment from dportwood
deepwater,
Free verse poetry is not subject to standards of meter and rhyme and, therefore, message and content become highlighted. Your message here contains regret, hope, uncertainty, and memories along with some incidental rhyme.
Duane
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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deepwater,
Free verse poetry is not subject to standards of meter and rhyme and, therefore, message and content become highlighted. Your message here contains regret, hope, uncertainty, and memories along with some incidental rhyme.
Duane
Comment Written 26-May-2010
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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thank for the comments Duane and for reading Gary
Comment from marcellawachtel
Very strong poem, reads very smoothly, revealing memories, regrets and questions- Much introspection from a man who says that it is time for him to "lay me down". The melancholy tone fits the subject, but leaves me marveling at how you achieved the nobility of this poem.
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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Very strong poem, reads very smoothly, revealing memories, regrets and questions- Much introspection from a man who says that it is time for him to "lay me down". The melancholy tone fits the subject, but leaves me marveling at how you achieved the nobility of this poem.
Comment Written 26-May-2010
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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like you Marcella I am learning every day from constructive criticism from reviews, thank you for reading and the comments Gary
Comment from P1
your words really made me think
how we spend our lives, what we
achieve and how and the failures
you have examined every aspect with
great care. a pleasure to read
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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your words really made me think
how we spend our lives, what we
achieve and how and the failures
you have examined every aspect with
great care. a pleasure to read
Comment Written 26-May-2010
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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thanks for reading Paige
Comment from Kashif Ali Abbas
Lovely poetry DW. I enjoyed, a litte variation from earlier themes of yours to this one.
You can use some , simple without italic presentation of lines too.
Now comes the time to lay me down on this cold October morn_
Memories of life which I have lived with all the discomforts, some glory
[ Loved the flow, and superb style in these lines]
K
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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Lovely poetry DW. I enjoyed, a litte variation from earlier themes of yours to this one.
You can use some , simple without italic presentation of lines too.
Now comes the time to lay me down on this cold October morn_
Memories of life which I have lived with all the discomforts, some glory
[ Loved the flow, and superb style in these lines]
K
Comment Written 26-May-2010
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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thanks K for reading GW
Comment from Awatef
Wow! This is an interesting poem. Filled with real emotions. It makes the reader think about himself as he is layed to rest.
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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Wow! This is an interesting poem. Filled with real emotions. It makes the reader think about himself as he is layed to rest.
Comment Written 26-May-2010
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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thank you Awatef
Comment from rudywalsh
Well written and said. Reading your poem gives me a chill at the thought of October morning, this has been one of your best poems yet, so I guess that meansyou are getting better my friend, keep up the good work, Rudy.
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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Well written and said. Reading your poem gives me a chill at the thought of October morning, this has been one of your best poems yet, so I guess that meansyou are getting better my friend, keep up the good work, Rudy.
Comment Written 26-May-2010
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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thank you Rudy
Comment from minopavlic
Well written and structured. After reading through several times, I kept asking myself, what's the most important thing I would like to leave behind. When it's all said and done, I'd like to be known for leaving or making an influence in someone's life.
no_obstacle
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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Well written and structured. After reading through several times, I kept asking myself, what's the most important thing I would like to leave behind. When it's all said and done, I'd like to be known for leaving or making an influence in someone's life.
no_obstacle
Comment Written 26-May-2010
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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thanks for reading no_obstacle
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Down to earth writing.
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thank you
Comment from Njorgensen
Beautiful. Simply lovely. This piece is fantastic in its form and word choice. It flows evenly and conveys a strong message to the reader. Excellent work on this.
Nancy
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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Beautiful. Simply lovely. This piece is fantastic in its form and word choice. It flows evenly and conveys a strong message to the reader. Excellent work on this.
Nancy
Comment Written 26-May-2010
reply by the author on 26-May-2010
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thank you Nancy