Heart Cafted Poems - 2020
Viewing comments for Chapter 48 "Transitions"Musings of an old man -2020
35 total reviews
Comment from Jasmine Girl
I like your poem and the colorful art that is so gorgeous. The rhyming is working well. It looks like you did a good job lamenting the lost of the spring and summer. You really see such a seasonal transition in North Carolina? You did a good job writing it.
Are we in the same Metre class with Jim Bartlett? If so, see you on Friday.
You are such a highly rated poet. I'm impressed
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2020
  |
I like your poem and the colorful art that is so gorgeous. The rhyming is working well. It looks like you did a good job lamenting the lost of the spring and summer. You really see such a seasonal transition in North Carolina? You did a good job writing it.
Are we in the same Metre class with Jim Bartlett? If so, see you on Friday.
You are such a highly rated poet. I'm impressed
Comment Written 14-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2020
-
Lisa, yes that is me, sorry I missed this week, but intend to take the class again, I have run up against a bit of health issue,
Comment from Gloria ....
I think you captured most adeptly some of the prime elements of the season changing. I was particularly fond of the splitting more wood for December which of course ushers in warm nights by the fire.
Your tone is warm with a little tinge of nostalgia.
Great read today, J. :))
Gloria
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2020
|
I think you captured most adeptly some of the prime elements of the season changing. I was particularly fond of the splitting more wood for December which of course ushers in warm nights by the fire.
Your tone is warm with a little tinge of nostalgia.
Great read today, J. :))
Gloria
Comment Written 14-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2020
-
Gloria, thank you--I did make a significant change to the last line, to address some comments from others -- I think the change brings the poem home better now.
Comment from Sally Law
I love this time of year. I'm missing Georgia so badly. Thank you for sending Autumn my way. This is a beautiful presentation and depicting my favorite season. Sending my best today as always and blessings for your day,
Sally xo
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2020
|
I love this time of year. I'm missing Georgia so badly. Thank you for sending Autumn my way. This is a beautiful presentation and depicting my favorite season. Sending my best today as always and blessings for your day,
Sally xo
Comment Written 14-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2020
-
Yes Sal, the color season this year IS JUST AWESOME!
Comment from zanya
Yes it's a wonderful poetic acknowledgment of Summer's farewell activity and the slow but sure approach of autumn/winter 'shrouded trees and grey skies'
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2020
|
Yes it's a wonderful poetic acknowledgment of Summer's farewell activity and the slow but sure approach of autumn/winter 'shrouded trees and grey skies'
Comment Written 14-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2020
-
Zanya, thank you
Comment from Raul1
This poem meets the requirements for the contest. It has a very good chance of winning the contest. It is clear and concise. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Good luck!
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2020
|
This poem meets the requirements for the contest. It has a very good chance of winning the contest. It is clear and concise. Excellent work! No grammatical errors. Good luck!
Comment Written 14-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2020
-
Raulk, thank you
Comment from Iza Deleanu
It's all in one interchanging spring-summer-autumn-winter:"Fall's colours are in full swing
as leaves change the summer scene
In a matter of a few short weeks
it has gone from very green peaks" Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2020
|
It's all in one interchanging spring-summer-autumn-winter:"Fall's colours are in full swing
as leaves change the summer scene
In a matter of a few short weeks
it has gone from very green peaks" Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2020
-
Iza, thank you
Comment from Suzanna Ray
Dear JLR, what a wonderful theme you have picked for your rhyming poem Every image is lovely, and the picture shows just what you were talking about. Altogether a wonderful read.
I did want to ask one question, In the next to the last line, did you intend to say "I sip a cup of coffee and marvel "at" this rather than "as" this?"
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2020
|
Dear JLR, what a wonderful theme you have picked for your rhyming poem Every image is lovely, and the picture shows just what you were talking about. Altogether a wonderful read.
I did want to ask one question, In the next to the last line, did you intend to say "I sip a cup of coffee and marvel "at" this rather than "as" this?"
Comment Written 14-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2020
-
Suzanna Ray, I did a rewrite to answer your question, thanks so much!
Comment from nomi338
Yes. The change of seasons dictate a change of routines. We prepare to deal with the challenges presented by the new seasonal demands. Colder weather demands protection from the cold,. The expectation of snow demands that we make preparations for that. Rainy season we check to make sure our umbrellas are in working order, and so on and so forth. Here in Southern California, one day is much like another. If we are lucky enough to see some rain, we fear mudslides. Otherwise, we fear yet another wildfire.Sigh.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2020
|
Yes. The change of seasons dictate a change of routines. We prepare to deal with the challenges presented by the new seasonal demands. Colder weather demands protection from the cold,. The expectation of snow demands that we make preparations for that. Rainy season we check to make sure our umbrellas are in working order, and so on and so forth. Here in Southern California, one day is much like another. If we are lucky enough to see some rain, we fear mudslides. Otherwise, we fear yet another wildfire.Sigh.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2020
-
Nomi, yes that was the one thing I mist remember when I traveled around California in the nineties, the state has so many different areas of native growth.
Comment from Joanne Gill-Maddick
Awesome writing. Great flow and rhyming scheme. I like your beautiful descriptive words. My favourite part . Falls colours are in full swing as leaves change the summer scene. Many colourful birds chirp goodbye. Stoking the earth by stirring the embers stirs you to split more wood before December . Very vibrant and colourful autumn photo. Well done.
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2020
|
Awesome writing. Great flow and rhyming scheme. I like your beautiful descriptive words. My favourite part . Falls colours are in full swing as leaves change the summer scene. Many colourful birds chirp goodbye. Stoking the earth by stirring the embers stirs you to split more wood before December . Very vibrant and colourful autumn photo. Well done.
Comment Written 14-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2020
-
Joanne, thank you so much!
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hello JLR, seven well composed rhyming couplets. All are very descriptive and give the reader an interesting idea about the transitional changes taking place within the year. Autumn well described here and your picture is stunning. A fine entry and I wish you luck - regards Dorothy x
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2020
|
Hello JLR, seven well composed rhyming couplets. All are very descriptive and give the reader an interesting idea about the transitional changes taking place within the year. Autumn well described here and your picture is stunning. A fine entry and I wish you luck - regards Dorothy x
Comment Written 14-Oct-2020
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2020
-
Thank you I appreciate the good wishes.