Comment from robyn corum

Good

Dear Mystery Author,

Unlike several of the other entries for this contest I have seen, you have actually followed the directions and met the requirements of creating a story with a beginning, middle, and end. Kudos!

The issue I see here concerns verb tense. You keep switching from past to present -- and that is not really allowed.

Notes:
1.) It ha(d) been one thousand years,

2.) the cave she was coming back to life
--> she came back to life
--> she came to life

3.) there was (no one) left who understood her.

4.) What was the point of being immortal when she (had) nobody to share (this) gift (with?) (A gift) that felt more like a curse?
--> when she had nobody to share a/this gift that seemed more like a curse.

5.) Now, they were doing it again.
--> Now those humans were at it again.

6.) God and released a virus, which (was) killing whatever (was) left of this sad world.

7.) Next year when the November's Bear moon will hang low in the night sky, she will wake up and will be all alone.
--> Next year(,) when the (November) Bear moon hang(s) low in the night sky, she will wake up all alone.
--> notice I also deleted words near the end

8.) The virus (creeped up) behind her and whispered:
--> you could delete 'behind her'

9.) Tonight you are mine(, P)rincess, (and) we will spend eternity (together) forever.

I do know you are working with a restricted word count. You do not say how many you have used so I made sure to include ideas for losing some words as well as editing and perhaps adding a word or two here and there.

Thank you! Good luck!

 Comment Written 20-Nov-2020

Comment from Wendy G

Good

I enjoyed this, but to me it was a little spoilt by a few spelling errors. It could do well in the competition if you edit and correct these. Best wishes.

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 Comment Written 20-Nov-2020

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reply by the author on 20-Nov-2020

Thank you:)