Quiet Lawyer
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Quiet Lawyer Chapter 8"Can a broken heart be mended?
25 total reviews
Comment from Olivanne Marsh
Hi, I am picking this up in the middle, so I should be a bit confused, but thanks to your linear story and clear writing, I am not having a problem figuring it out. The dialogue is good, flows well and seems natural. I thought the chapter lacked descriptions of the settings, the characters (clothing, eye color, etc.) which adds depth and richness to the story. I think you've done a great job is creating realistic characters and situations. I enjoyed reading this.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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Hi, I am picking this up in the middle, so I should be a bit confused, but thanks to your linear story and clear writing, I am not having a problem figuring it out. The dialogue is good, flows well and seems natural. I thought the chapter lacked descriptions of the settings, the characters (clothing, eye color, etc.) which adds depth and richness to the story. I think you've done a great job is creating realistic characters and situations. I enjoyed reading this.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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I don't like reading those descriptions. When I story has them, I actually skip them and start after they've finished. I believe the take the reader out of the story. Each person has their own opinions. That's why there's so many different types of authors. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from lancellot
This is a well written story. It follows your established formula and has no issues that I can see. I sure the audience this is designed for will be deeply enthralled as their relationship moves forward and life moves around them.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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This is a well written story. It follows your established formula and has no issues that I can see. I sure the audience this is designed for will be deeply enthralled as their relationship moves forward and life moves around them.
Comment Written 04-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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Thank you for the kind review. I know you would've had them in bed the first time they met.
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Maybe, but only after a nice meal and the horse ride. That is romantic.
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It is romantic, but...I honestly believe that a relationship needs to be built before sex inters in. Sex does not define a relationship. Women's purpose in life is not for sex. I know we view this differently.
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Actually we don't see this differently. We agree
Our main difference is: My characters in fiction are not me or limited by me.
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I don't feel mine are either. My characters drive my witting. They often take paths that I had not intended them too. Not only often, but in every novel I've ever written. I'm writing one right now and have to change it numerous times because of what my characters want.
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Can't wait to see it.
Comment from Jay Squires
That first kiss is going to be a hard one to consummate. But given your skills, I'm sure it will be well worth the wait.
A teensy consideration:
took a deep breath, and said under her breath, [There's kind of an echo with the two "breaths" here. It's minor, but I'd consider modifying the first to "she breathed deeply" before the "and said under her breath". But like I said, it's minor]
By the way, I like the way you use a sprinkling of Spanish in the dialogue. I'm wondering if the parents would use "mijo"? (I just realized I don't know if that's the spelling of it, but that's the sound of it in conversation.)
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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That first kiss is going to be a hard one to consummate. But given your skills, I'm sure it will be well worth the wait.
A teensy consideration:
took a deep breath, and said under her breath, [There's kind of an echo with the two "breaths" here. It's minor, but I'd consider modifying the first to "she breathed deeply" before the "and said under her breath". But like I said, it's minor]
By the way, I like the way you use a sprinkling of Spanish in the dialogue. I'm wondering if the parents would use "mijo"? (I just realized I don't know if that's the spelling of it, but that's the sound of it in conversation.)
Comment Written 04-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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I made the first change. In this part of Texas, they say 'Hijo'. I just retired from a bilingual school. I've got Spanish down. LOL
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
I never noticed its length; I was so engrossed in the Ali and Cord not quite romance. This is really enjoyable, and Ali is getting to be more of a ranch girl all the time. She even took a cougar scream in stride and they are really scary.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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I never noticed its length; I was so engrossed in the Ali and Cord not quite romance. This is really enjoyable, and Ali is getting to be more of a ranch girl all the time. She even took a cougar scream in stride and they are really scary.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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Thank you for the kind review. She knew Cord was well armed. LOL
Comment from BethShelby
I'm enjoying your love story. It seems to be going along well at this point. Cord's father thinks this might be the first time Cord's really been in love. I guess the fact that Ali is supposed to go back to the city at some point might be something they have to work out. I'll be anxious to find out what Pat plans to do later this month when we learn out bad he can be.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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I'm enjoying your love story. It seems to be going along well at this point. Cord's father thinks this might be the first time Cord's really been in love. I guess the fact that Ali is supposed to go back to the city at some point might be something they have to work out. I'll be anxious to find out what Pat plans to do later this month when we learn out bad he can be.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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In my book, he's really bad, but maybe it's just me. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Something always seems to get in the way, but many times that is best. It's keep letting the anticipation build all the more, which will only make that special moment even great when it finally happens. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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Something always seems to get in the way, but many times that is best. It's keep letting the anticipation build all the more, which will only make that special moment even great when it finally happens. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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I promise that kiss will happen, but it will take a while, that I can promise. LOL Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Sankey
This was a lovely all-encompassing read. Good, they shared their past lives. Not a spag, anywhere. I look forward to your next chapter. Still one of my favourite writers.
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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This was a lovely all-encompassing read. Good, they shared their past lives. Not a spag, anywhere. I look forward to your next chapter. Still one of my favourite writers.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Judy Lawless
I like this chapter, Barbara. We're learning more about the operation of the ranch and about the feelings of Cord and Ali toward each other. And we anxiously wait for more. Well done.
One thing: "Once in the hallway, Emma(?) stood back and gave Cordero a once over. "You're actually pretty sexy."
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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I like this chapter, Barbara. We're learning more about the operation of the ranch and about the feelings of Cord and Ali toward each other. And we anxiously wait for more. Well done.
One thing: "Once in the hallway, Emma(?) stood back and gave Cordero a once over. "You're actually pretty sexy."
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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LOL She's a character in my new book. Oh dear. Thank you. I'll change it right now.
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I wondered if that might be the case. lol You're welcome.
Comment from Anne Johnston
Well done on this chapter. When I saw the picture I figured something was going to happen involving the cougar. I am glad that they heard it and did not get attacked by it. thanks for another interesting chapter.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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Well done on this chapter. When I saw the picture I figured something was going to happen involving the cougar. I am glad that they heard it and did not get attacked by it. thanks for another interesting chapter.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.
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You are welcome
Comment from royowen
Cordero has discovered that thongs with Ali could be a rough ride, as his dad points out that love, in the beginning never runs smooth, particularly with a feisty girl like Ali, one relationship hasn't worked out, I remember mine well. Beautifully written, great job, Barbara, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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Cordero has discovered that thongs with Ali could be a rough ride, as his dad points out that love, in the beginning never runs smooth, particularly with a feisty girl like Ali, one relationship hasn't worked out, I remember mine well. Beautifully written, great job, Barbara, blessings Roy
Comment Written 03-Apr-2022
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2022
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Thank you for the kind review.
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Most welcome
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Most welcome Barbara.