Reviews from

The Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer

Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Incomparable Fanny Barnwarmer 21"
America's First Female Comic

26 total reviews 
Comment from lancellot
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Yes, it was a several months long epic. You don't see that too much outside of full novels. I think overall you did a good job. You may tip your hat, sir.

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2022


reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
    Thank you, Lance. Oh so many defects, but if there's one thing I'm proud of is that I plugged along until I felt it was completed. So many times I wanted to scrap it. I tip my hat to you, sir, for your ongoing honesty.
Comment from Terry Broxson
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

LOL, I congratulate you on finishing this long a winding journey. I did love what you said about perseverance, that is a great Jay Squires line! Good job. Terry

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2022


reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
    Thank you, Terry. So happy to have you along on the journey.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I don't have a sixth star, but you earned it. This has been a great play that I've thoroughly enjoyed (except for a few of the more difficult dialectic choices you have given us). I think this could be done on the stage, but the dialect has to be eased back a bit. I want to see it performed. Do you have a local theater group you could persuade to perform this? Theater publishers like that to have happened and you as a writer will know what changes would make it better.

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2022


reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
    Thank you, Carol, for your confidence in me as a writer, but no ... I have no desire to take this to the next level. Judi, also wants me to check with local theater groups, but I'll leave that to the youngsters.
Comment from amahra
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

What a great conclusion, Jay. I can see plays are your strong artistic point. I'm going to miss Granny and her off-color humor and dialogue. On to the next project. :))

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2022


reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
    Bless you, Amahra! And thank you so much for the 6 stars and your compliment on the conclusion. When do we get the next chapter of your fantasy?
reply by amahra on 25-Sep-2022
    You're welcome, Jay. I will post sometime today.
Comment from Spitfire
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

It seems you have gone for theatricality in this, the finish of your play. That's a good thing. One of the best moments is when Maples falls upon her grave and the ghost of Fanny follows. Excellent scene for the ending, Jay.

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2022


reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
    Thank you, Shari! Yes! THEATRICALITY is a fine word for that falling on the grave scene. It would have been sappy if I had him die there, wouldn't it? I had fun with this last scene.
Comment from LJbutterfly
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I applaud and bow to your genius. Not one episode was predictable. I can't begin to imagine the stress of providing new and fresh ideas and information for twenty-one chapters, but you pulled it off. I was concerned that Flourney's grave was financed by Juniper, but your description of the statue and suspenseful mention of trash removal, along with the inscribed poem, rendered the conclusion humorous and incredibly satisfying. I have truly enjoyed this journey.

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2022


reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
    I am SOOO happy you felt the scene lived up to the rest of the play. It was my favorite one for the very reasons you gave. Yes it was stressful, but no, I'm no genius, just determined to finish this one ... unlike the two I abandoned.
Comment from Cindy Decker 2
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Jay,
I admit I haven't read all the chapters, but decided to read this one. I'm glad I did. Your writing style is very clear; you know how to write clear, convincing dialogue.
Good luck with all you write. I hope there is another story coming out soon.
Blessings,
Cindy

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2022


reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
    Thank you, Cindy for stopping by and weighing in. I really appreciate that!
reply by Cindy Decker 2 on 25-Sep-2022
    You?re welcome, Jay.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Congratulations!! This is really good. I enjoyed reading from beginning to the ending. I am happy with the way you've ended this. GREAT JOB!!!


 Comment Written 24-Sep-2022


reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
    Yes, you are one of the very few who have read it to the end. I struggled so much through most of it. Your parade of sixes, though, kept me plugging away. Thank you.
    Jay
Comment from John Ciarmello
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

To me, it's all about the shared journey and never how I've arrived at all the twists and turns or even the final curtain. I genuinely believe in the overall beauty of the written bounty, my friend, and you and Fanny Barnwarmer have, undoubtedly, BROUGHT IT! In all its gleaming glory. I rise with my ovation, and as I look around, I'm not the only one standing! Best, JohnC

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2022


reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
    Hahaha! John, there is a job waiting for you as a New Yorker reviewer. Damn! I thank you so much for being with me through all the highs and lows of this play. Many was the day I'd toss the whole thing in the trash heap ... only to return later, when no one was looking, and pull it out, daub off the tomato and gravy and get back to work on it. If you were the only one standing at the curtain, I would be more than happy! Thank you, friend!

    Jay
Comment from BethShelby
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is a spectacular finish and anyone who didn't stick with you missed a lot. I don't see all those flaws you mention. You did a wonderful job as you always do.

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2022


reply by the author on 25-Sep-2022
    Beth, you are always so kind. Thank you for that, and for the six stars. There were always enough loyal readers each week to keep me plodding forward for another weekly offering. Bless you!

    Jay