Dr. Howler's Nightmares
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "The Good Samaritan"A collection of most unusual bedtime stories
13 total reviews
Comment from TDLRasmar
It is an intriguing story with lots of action and gore. It would make a great Hollywood movie. I know that I am just reading a chapter in a book and that I have not read any other chapters, so I just kind of jumping in cold. But there were some parts I found confusing. I'm not sure what the war with the ants was all about. I found the story of the ants engrossing, but just felt like it stopped abruptly. Also, not sure why the mention of PTSD.
At first when I read "Dominic, the pleasure is all yours. Have at her," I wasn't sure who Dominic was.
However, your description in the action scenes was very good. All in all I enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2022
It is an intriguing story with lots of action and gore. It would make a great Hollywood movie. I know that I am just reading a chapter in a book and that I have not read any other chapters, so I just kind of jumping in cold. But there were some parts I found confusing. I'm not sure what the war with the ants was all about. I found the story of the ants engrossing, but just felt like it stopped abruptly. Also, not sure why the mention of PTSD.
At first when I read "Dominic, the pleasure is all yours. Have at her," I wasn't sure who Dominic was.
However, your description in the action scenes was very good. All in all I enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2022
-
Glad you enjoyed this story. Appreciate the review.
Comment from robyn corum
Brett, my darling,
You are messed up. *smile* In a delightful way, of course, for a writer - but still REALLLLLY messed up.
So this kind guy willingly put himself in harms' way (vis a vis those nasty ants) so that he could SAVE this girl from those nasty hungry alligators SO THAT his even nastier friend, the ape, could have her? Really???
I'm not sure what polite society would call that behavior - but I'm sure it falls into the category of 'rude' at bare minimum. *smile*
Some notes if I may:
1.) Machocistic, he enjoyed the afflictions.
--> 'masochistic'
--> though I think your word is more fun - as it uses 'macho' at the beginning. I think this would work if you used:
--> 'Macho'chistic, he enjoyed the afflictions.
-- ?? Maybe??
2.) Brandon had one distinct advantage over his stalkers, his long, gangly legs. They moved forward with loose-jointed abandonment. Brandon picked them up and put them down in galloping succession.
--> I would suggest a change here - though I may be the only one who sees this --
--> I thought you were doing a comparison - 'THEY moved forward with...' so when I read the next line about picking them up and putting them down it took me a bit to figure out he WASN'T talking about the ants. Silly me! Consider:
--> Brandon had one distinct advantage over his stalkers: long, gangly legs that moved forward with loose-jointed abandonment. When Brandon picked them up and put them down in galloping succession, he soon outdistanced his predators.
--> yours to consider or ignore. *smile*
3.) Loud thumps resounded in Dominic's head. His contracted heartbeat raged as his blood-red eyes locked on his target. Bile rose in the back of his throat.
--> head-hopping. Since you're telling this from Brandon's POV, you can't suddenly jump into the ape's brain to share what HE'S thinking and feeling.
So now that we've established you are one crooked human - delightfully so - we can move on. Thanks so much!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2022
Brett, my darling,
You are messed up. *smile* In a delightful way, of course, for a writer - but still REALLLLLY messed up.
So this kind guy willingly put himself in harms' way (vis a vis those nasty ants) so that he could SAVE this girl from those nasty hungry alligators SO THAT his even nastier friend, the ape, could have her? Really???
I'm not sure what polite society would call that behavior - but I'm sure it falls into the category of 'rude' at bare minimum. *smile*
Some notes if I may:
1.) Machocistic, he enjoyed the afflictions.
--> 'masochistic'
--> though I think your word is more fun - as it uses 'macho' at the beginning. I think this would work if you used:
--> 'Macho'chistic, he enjoyed the afflictions.
-- ?? Maybe??
2.) Brandon had one distinct advantage over his stalkers, his long, gangly legs. They moved forward with loose-jointed abandonment. Brandon picked them up and put them down in galloping succession.
--> I would suggest a change here - though I may be the only one who sees this --
--> I thought you were doing a comparison - 'THEY moved forward with...' so when I read the next line about picking them up and putting them down it took me a bit to figure out he WASN'T talking about the ants. Silly me! Consider:
--> Brandon had one distinct advantage over his stalkers: long, gangly legs that moved forward with loose-jointed abandonment. When Brandon picked them up and put them down in galloping succession, he soon outdistanced his predators.
--> yours to consider or ignore. *smile*
3.) Loud thumps resounded in Dominic's head. His contracted heartbeat raged as his blood-red eyes locked on his target. Bile rose in the back of his throat.
--> head-hopping. Since you're telling this from Brandon's POV, you can't suddenly jump into the ape's brain to share what HE'S thinking and feeling.
So now that we've established you are one crooked human - delightfully so - we can move on. Thanks so much!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2022
-
Appreciate the recommendations and the review.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I think somehow, I have missed these Doctor I.B. Howler, Nightmareologist stories. I'm not sure how that happened, but I am almost positive they aren't for children. I am not into horror myself, but this is a very good contest entry. The writing is excellent. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2022
I think somehow, I have missed these Doctor I.B. Howler, Nightmareologist stories. I'm not sure how that happened, but I am almost positive they aren't for children. I am not into horror myself, but this is a very good contest entry. The writing is excellent. Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 03-Oct-2022
-
Glad you enjoyed this story. Much appreciate the review.