Santa's Christmas Bonus
The Christmas Bonus contest entry17 total reviews
Comment from jessizero
I didn't get the picture until I read the poem. Then I realized... OH! LOL. I enjoyed your story/poem. It was fun. Thanks for sharing, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2022
  |
I didn't get the picture until I read the poem. Then I realized... OH! LOL. I enjoyed your story/poem. It was fun. Thanks for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2022
-
Thank you for the great review and stars, Jessi. Yes, it takes the read through to get the ridiculous picture. Lol. Have yourself
Ron a fantastic weekend.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is hilarious, I just loved every word, the humour, the rhymes and flow are perfect and I am rolling about with laughter! I wish I had a six left for you because this definitely deserves one, a magical and funny write, full of fun, loved it! Love Dolly x
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2022
|
This is hilarious, I just loved every word, the humour, the rhymes and flow are perfect and I am rolling about with laughter! I wish I had a six left for you because this definitely deserves one, a magical and funny write, full of fun, loved it! Love Dolly x
Comment Written 01-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 02-Dec-2022
-
Thank you so much for the great review and big six offer, Dolly. I know here's not many on here that will appreciate my twisted sense of humor but I write this dumb stuff for the few that will. I'm glad you had a chuckle at this silliness, D. Have yourself a wonderful weekend and thank you again.
=]
Ron
-
You too Ron, have a good weekend x x x
Comment from royowen
Heh heh heh, this priceless. With the jolly fat man always escaping criticism despite his different Christmas guises, this is indeed "pie" in his face. Beautifully written, smooth, abcb rhyming, and a really different post. Good luck, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2022
|
Heh heh heh, this priceless. With the jolly fat man always escaping criticism despite his different Christmas guises, this is indeed "pie" in his face. Beautifully written, smooth, abcb rhyming, and a really different post. Good luck, blessings Roy
Comment Written 01-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2022
-
Thank you for the great review, Roy. Yeah, I was in one of those silly moods again. Lol. I really appreciate the generous stars and good luck wishes, friend. Ia'm glad you liked this ridiculous piece.
Ron
-
Well done Ron.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
Technically perfect.
Subject sustained, but I hated it. This year in this third-world UK, food is a GOOD bonus! On the news this morning I was shocked (I'd given it up for November as something had to give, and that was my concession to complete NNWM) to learn just how many people (working) are having to borrow money to buy food for the kids, as rent+heat = more than the wages now. Kate xx
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2022
|
Technically perfect.
Subject sustained, but I hated it. This year in this third-world UK, food is a GOOD bonus! On the news this morning I was shocked (I'd given it up for November as something had to give, and that was my concession to complete NNWM) to learn just how many people (working) are having to borrow money to buy food for the kids, as rent+heat = more than the wages now. Kate xx
Comment Written 01-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2022
-
Oh, I know about it. Some can't even survive on what they're working 60 hours a week for. I'd be plenty happy if I'd get a ham for Christmas from my job. This was just the route I took for this contest. The elf was relying on his usually huge Christmas bonus but didn't get it. Thank you for the review, Kate. Sorry it hit a wrong nerve there. I was just being silly for the contest.
Ron
-
It's okay, I can still appreciate things I don't like if they're good (still gave you a five, right?) - I just needed to write it, sorry.
-
=]
Have a great day, Kate.
-
I should google, but I'm busy... I don't know what things like =] mean. Hope it's not important. Kate xx
-
It's just a sideways smiley face.
Comment from jmdg1954
Not my preferential story in relation to the holiday season, but to each his own.
The rhyming pattern was spot on, the cadence was okay,
A couple of stanzas did feel short, of syllables who's gone astray.
Best of luck in the contest my friend, John
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2022
|
Not my preferential story in relation to the holiday season, but to each his own.
The rhyming pattern was spot on, the cadence was okay,
A couple of stanzas did feel short, of syllables who's gone astray.
Best of luck in the contest my friend, John
Comment Written 01-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2022
-
Thank you for the review, John. I tried sticking to the 8,6,8,6 syllable count for flow but I guess it didn't work out too well for some. Yeah, I'm sure it won't be taken too Christmasy by a few people. Lol. I appreciate the stars and good luck wishes, John. Have yourself a great upcoming holiday.
Ron
Comment from Terry Broxson
LOL, you will be on the naughty list for the rest of your life for sure! What a hoot, poor Santa! It is a very creative poem. Thank you for entering the contest. Please check your messages for a Christmas bonus. It will not buy a Jacuzzi, but I don't have any sled to drive with reindeer! Terry.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2022
|
LOL, you will be on the naughty list for the rest of your life for sure! What a hoot, poor Santa! It is a very creative poem. Thank you for entering the contest. Please check your messages for a Christmas bonus. It will not buy a Jacuzzi, but I don't have any sled to drive with reindeer! Terry.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2022
-
Wow. Thank you, my friend. That was an incredible bonus. I can't imagine how much you had to spend if that's what you're giving everyone who enters your contest. Wow again.
Thank you for the great review and for throwing the contest, Terry. I had fun with it and a chuckle or two along the way. I'm glad you liked my silly addition.
Thank you again for the added bonus. What a Christmas bonus it is. That was probably the kindest thing anyone has done on here in the 15 years I've been on here. Have yourself a fantastic Christmas, friend. Thank you again.
Ron
-
Ron, my pleasure, Terry.
Comment from Sarah Das Gupta
This poem is very amusing as it plays with the traditional image of jolly Santa Claus-as an icon of generosity and kindness. Roles are reversed and he is an exploitative employer, denying his elfin helpers their winter bonus.
The rhythm and rhyming scheme are consistent with 'jolly' Christmas songs,"Ho! Ho!Ho!" etc. I do have reservations about the language,in the sense that most storiesetc on Santa Claus are read by children. At the same time I like the ironic tone.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2022
 |
This poem is very amusing as it plays with the traditional image of jolly Santa Claus-as an icon of generosity and kindness. Roles are reversed and he is an exploitative employer, denying his elfin helpers their winter bonus.
The rhythm and rhyming scheme are consistent with 'jolly' Christmas songs,"Ho! Ho!Ho!" etc. I do have reservations about the language,in the sense that most storiesetc on Santa Claus are read by children. At the same time I like the ironic tone.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Dec-2022
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2022
-
There was a warning at the top of the page for language. I would hope if any parents saw that, they wouldn't let their children read it. Might you have any suggestions, besides the language, on how to better the piece? A 4 star rating means the piece needs improvement.
I'm glad you liked this silly piece. Thank you for the review.