Santa's Little Secret, Part III
The Authorized Hidden History of Santa Claus31 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
After the first part I thought that stinker, you, should have ended it here. I guess he doesn't remember how to end a story. LOL Sorry for my thoughts, I owe you an apology. You ended it perfectly and I enjoyed reading.
"Ah-ha-OH-HO-HO," laughed Santa. (capital 'L' needed on 'laughed')
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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After the first part I thought that stinker, you, should have ended it here. I guess he doesn't remember how to end a story. LOL Sorry for my thoughts, I owe you an apology. You ended it perfectly and I enjoyed reading.
"Ah-ha-OH-HO-HO," laughed Santa. (capital 'L' needed on 'laughed')
Comment Written 10-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Your apology wasn't needed, but sure accepted. I remember thinking the same thing after part one. Then I remembered other things left unsaid. Sometimes, I don't know when to take a breath and write, The End. LOL. Thanks for the catch ... and the sixth star!
Jay
Comment from LJbutterfly
This story truly appealed to my inner child, even though there were elements of an adult theme. As I read, I envisioned animated characters in a full length movie. Saint Nicholas passing the baton to Saint Ajdinclaus is imaginative and believable. Giving Santa a son and grands is heartwarming. The picture of skinny Santa is perfect. Plus, you extended the Christmas spirit a few days into the new year. Thank you.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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This story truly appealed to my inner child, even though there were elements of an adult theme. As I read, I envisioned animated characters in a full length movie. Saint Nicholas passing the baton to Saint Ajdinclaus is imaginative and believable. Giving Santa a son and grands is heartwarming. The picture of skinny Santa is perfect. Plus, you extended the Christmas spirit a few days into the new year. Thank you.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Awwww, Lorraine, you say such sweet things. I'm glad you enjoyed the change of pictures for the third part. A Skinny Santa seemed so right. The name Ajdinclaus kinda grows on you, doesn't it? The sixth star warms my heart.
Jay
Comment from justafan
waited for Peter Cottontail, fidgeting on the crackling embers in the fireplace, to finish his game of jacks with the Katzenjammer ... the tidbit?
I have always been a fan and will continue to be. You're one of a kind my friend:)
Always
Justafan of yours
Missy
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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waited for Peter Cottontail, fidgeting on the crackling embers in the fireplace, to finish his game of jacks with the Katzenjammer ... the tidbit?
I have always been a fan and will continue to be. You're one of a kind my friend:)
Always
Justafan of yours
Missy
Comment Written 10-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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You got it! You got it! And as far as I know, you were the only one who saw it as out of place. You rock, Missy!
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I believe the ?crit master? rocks
Comment from Terry Broxson
Jay, my rating is 5.5. The six, is for the introduction of part III, which is brilliant. The five is for the story about Santa. Do you remember the old Clifton margarine commercials? Where Mother Nature tries her creamy butter only to be told it is margarine. Thunder and lighting follow, and Mother Nature says, "It is not nice to fool Mother Nature."
As long as creative and the story is...and it is. It still ain't right to fool with Santa. LOL. Terry.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Jay, my rating is 5.5. The six, is for the introduction of part III, which is brilliant. The five is for the story about Santa. Do you remember the old Clifton margarine commercials? Where Mother Nature tries her creamy butter only to be told it is margarine. Thunder and lighting follow, and Mother Nature says, "It is not nice to fool Mother Nature."
As long as creative and the story is...and it is. It still ain't right to fool with Santa. LOL. Terry.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Hahaha! Still ain't right to fool with Santa! I don't know ... Ajdinclause has a certain ring to it, don't you think? Yes, I remember the commercials. Only, it wasn't Clifton margarine ... not in California! I believe it might have been Imperial, but I'm not sure. Hey! I'll take a five from you any day!
Jay
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My typing betrayed me, it should have been Chiffon Margarine.
I am thinking there could be a movie here... "Santa's Little Secret" starring Jay Squires as Bram Stoker...only nicer.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This may be a repeat message as my cat keeps turning my computer onto airplane mode. I think she wants me to go to bed so she can climb in beside me. I really enjoyed your story. No doubt Santa does age out at some time and who better to take his place than his son. Thank you for the enjoyable Christmas story complete with farting reindeer.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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This may be a repeat message as my cat keeps turning my computer onto airplane mode. I think she wants me to go to bed so she can climb in beside me. I really enjoyed your story. No doubt Santa does age out at some time and who better to take his place than his son. Thank you for the enjoyable Christmas story complete with farting reindeer.
Comment Written 10-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Aw, thank you, Carol. I'm so happy you enjoyed it. Have you ever written out the full ten reviews on one page, only to have them disappear because you forgot to hit the group "send" button? It's maddening!
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I sure have and my computer, for reasons of its own, drops a 4 or 6 into words at random. Get it all corrected and push the wrong key.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
I had already proved to myself I could read attentively 3600 words, by reading Walkerman's post successfully before reading this (I'd also seen I could fail at 2700)... but I trust you. And as always, you didn't fail me. The glee of the prologue, witty and bubbly. The confusion of the magic, turned my brain a little, but I know when I am stronger and ready to read the whole story I will love the conundrum of Gustave's age. The beauty of the handing over - everyone knew the time had come, and all accepted it. This was the most wonderful story, even without parts one and two (those I will save for April when I start making my own Christmas lists for 2023 - I must work out how to make sure I can find it on your portfolio...). Three times 6 stars would have been too little, but the question is moot as this is my last. Kate xx
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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I had already proved to myself I could read attentively 3600 words, by reading Walkerman's post successfully before reading this (I'd also seen I could fail at 2700)... but I trust you. And as always, you didn't fail me. The glee of the prologue, witty and bubbly. The confusion of the magic, turned my brain a little, but I know when I am stronger and ready to read the whole story I will love the conundrum of Gustave's age. The beauty of the handing over - everyone knew the time had come, and all accepted it. This was the most wonderful story, even without parts one and two (those I will save for April when I start making my own Christmas lists for 2023 - I must work out how to make sure I can find it on your portfolio...). Three times 6 stars would have been too little, but the question is moot as this is my last. Kate xx
Comment Written 10-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Oh, mannnnn, I needed your spurt of "petrol" in my system. (It sounds so much better to say petrol than "You've given me gas!") But you have! And I appreciate you more than you know!
Jay
Comment from Jasmine Girl
The short review for "A Christmas Carol" is a heartwarming and magical story about the true meaning of Christmas and the transformative power of love and kindness. The characters are endearing and the message is timeless, making it a must-read for the holiday season.
Excellent.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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The short review for "A Christmas Carol" is a heartwarming and magical story about the true meaning of Christmas and the transformative power of love and kindness. The characters are endearing and the message is timeless, making it a must-read for the holiday season.
Excellent.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Thank you, Lisa. I appreciate how you've connected it with "A Christmas Carol" -- always the standard for which all Christmas stories strive to reach, but never do. Thank you for your six lovely stars!
Jay
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
I had to laugh at your opening remarks - and jump up and down and shout, "Woohoo," that I was earning a whole buck-fifty for reading this, lol! (I would have read it anyway.)
So, Santa has really come around in this chapter - he went from not believing to embracing his new family:-)
We knew Ajdin was being targeted for the job, but it was still a sweet transfer when it happened. And Santa got a membership to Weight Watchers - just what he needed!
A very clever and fun story to read - in as many parts as there were.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a GOOD NIGHT!
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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I had to laugh at your opening remarks - and jump up and down and shout, "Woohoo," that I was earning a whole buck-fifty for reading this, lol! (I would have read it anyway.)
So, Santa has really come around in this chapter - he went from not believing to embracing his new family:-)
We knew Ajdin was being targeted for the job, but it was still a sweet transfer when it happened. And Santa got a membership to Weight Watchers - just what he needed!
A very clever and fun story to read - in as many parts as there were.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a GOOD NIGHT!
Comment Written 09-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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I know you would have read it anyway. You're one of the good ones. Pam ... you make me feel good all over. And that's hard to do at my age.
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Haha! We can still feel as we age, and I'm just happy to find a few outstanding writers here to learn from.
Comment from BethShelby
This was a fun story an a whole new legend about how Santa Claus came to be. Maybe this story will catfh on an become a part of everyone christmas. I don't believe the grandchilred will ever manage to replace their on father because they are alread in their second childhood. No one would vote for a mayer that acts like they do. At least, I don't think so.
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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This was a fun story an a whole new legend about how Santa Claus came to be. Maybe this story will catfh on an become a part of everyone christmas. I don't believe the grandchilred will ever manage to replace their on father because they are alread in their second childhood. No one would vote for a mayer that acts like they do. At least, I don't think so.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 10-Jan-2023
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Thank you, Lovely Beth! No ... in choosing a plausible occupation for the grandkids, I tried to find those that would contrast best with their current childlikeness.
Jay
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Jay, you have the audacity to place this story on the welcome page posting it with 1.50 member dollars and cents. I hope you enjoy those who skim past the long parts and skip to the ending where they review you for all the money they can grab.
Jesse
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2023
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Jay, you have the audacity to place this story on the welcome page posting it with 1.50 member dollars and cents. I hope you enjoy those who skim past the long parts and skip to the ending where they review you for all the money they can grab.
Jesse
Comment Written 09-Jan-2023
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2023
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Hey, Jesse. Anything I write comes at such a high cost in time and energy. I put in hour upon hour of revising and editing, and if it's not my best work, I won't even post it. If I'm proud of what I write, I post it high enough on page one that it will be read by enough readers for it to achieve the ATB status. That is my benchmark. And it's not a glory thing. It's not just an empty award. It means that of the 25 or so readers, I will "touch" some of them. I can tell. Also, there is not one post that does not yield someone (usually several) whose comments help me in my development as a writer.
I will take your comment about my audacity to be a playful jab on the arm. At least I hope it didn't anger you.
I gave my reasons in the rather long foresection for posting this as high as I did. To me, this is the equivalent of two posts, sizewise. If you divide the buck fifty in half it would be seventy-five, which is barely enough to get me on page one for a single post.
Do I enjoy the money-grubbers? Of course not. And I meant what I said about them in the front part. They carry their work-ethic in life over into FanStory. They have to live with themselves, and I'm sure that most of them are pretty good at lying to themselves.
So, anyway, thank you for reading. I hope you got something out of it, perhaps even found it enjoyable.
Jay
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I just think that you post at such a high price that it makes it hard for the rest of us to get on the welcome page.
I meant no harm, just telling it like it is!
Jesse
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No. I appreciate the candor.
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I am glad. Keep up the good work, Jay.