Billy and Me
A baseball story of two brothers26 total reviews
Comment from prettybluebirds
Your story is an interesting look into the life of siblings. I had an older brother who acted like I was an annoying little sister until someone picked on me; then he came unglued. He saved my hide more than once.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2023
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Your story is an interesting look into the life of siblings. I had an older brother who acted like I was an annoying little sister until someone picked on me; then he came unglued. He saved my hide more than once.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2023
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Thank you for stopping by to read and share. John
Comment from Terry Broxson
A well-written piece of fiction, maybe with a backstop of truth. I was the older brother by four years. I played first base. My brother played in the band.
He turned out to be a really great musician. My baseball career ended in little league. Excellent writing. Terry.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2023
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A well-written piece of fiction, maybe with a backstop of truth. I was the older brother by four years. I played first base. My brother played in the band.
He turned out to be a really great musician. My baseball career ended in little league. Excellent writing. Terry.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2023
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Thank you, Terry, for taking the time to read. Always appreciated.
John
Comment from barbara.wilkey
All four of my boys played baseball. I enjoyed reading and it brought back many memories. LOL Good ones. I need to become a fan because I read and enjoy so much of your writing.
He said that getting hit is all "part of the game" and not to lower yourself or your standards. (you can omit 'that')
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2023
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All four of my boys played baseball. I enjoyed reading and it brought back many memories. LOL Good ones. I need to become a fan because I read and enjoy so much of your writing.
He said that getting hit is all "part of the game" and not to lower yourself or your standards. (you can omit 'that')
Comment Written 03-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2023
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Thank you, Barbara, for reading and correcting.
Also, thank you for becoming a fan. You?re one of the top writers on the site. I?m humbled.
John
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You're a good writing. I'm sorry, I didn't do this before.
Comment from Sarah Das Gupta
I'm not familiar with baseball or its terminology but this is a fast moving narrative which holds the reader's attention. The idea of defending your brother at the cost of being sent off, is engaging!
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2023
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I'm not familiar with baseball or its terminology but this is a fast moving narrative which holds the reader's attention. The idea of defending your brother at the cost of being sent off, is engaging!
Comment Written 03-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2023
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Thank you for reading and sharing commentary with me.
John
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Best wishes!
Comment from eliz100
I enjoyed reading your story. I like baseball soccer and American football. I believe you have captured the essence of a young but not great baseball player and a brother looking out for a brother. I do not see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2023
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I enjoyed reading your story. I like baseball soccer and American football. I believe you have captured the essence of a young but not great baseball player and a brother looking out for a brother. I do not see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2023
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Elizabeth, that?s a wonderful review. Thank you for that and constantly reading my posts.
John
Comment from Ric Myworld
Everyone needs a big brother to take up for them once in a while. I never had one. I was the big brother and my two younger brothers kept me in something all the time. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2023
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Everyone needs a big brother to take up for them once in a while. I never had one. I was the big brother and my two younger brothers kept me in something all the time. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2023
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Than you for reading.
Always a pleasure.
Cheers for a great day.
John
Comment from Douglas Goff
Great brotherly love story. Couple of catches (pun right there for your enjoyment):
There were two out when their clean-up hitter came to bat.
(I would consider 'outs')
Also:
He said that getting hit is all "part of the game" and not to lower yourself our your standards.
(Reword. 'our' to 'or' ???)
Great ending! Very good work here!
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2023
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Great brotherly love story. Couple of catches (pun right there for your enjoyment):
There were two out when their clean-up hitter came to bat.
(I would consider 'outs')
Also:
He said that getting hit is all "part of the game" and not to lower yourself our your standards.
(Reword. 'our' to 'or' ???)
Great ending! Very good work here!
Comment Written 03-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 03-Feb-2023
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Yup. Corrections are made. Thank you for pointing those out. I appreciate your time to read and review.
Thx again.
John
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We?re all on the same team, brother. Nice read!
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I've never heard that saying about Irish twins, John. I enjoyed
reading your story. You described your family well and the
all-important baseball game. I loved how Billy protected you.
Your words flowed smoothly and created great imagery. I could
picture everything as I read.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2023
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I've never heard that saying about Irish twins, John. I enjoyed
reading your story. You described your family well and the
all-important baseball game. I loved how Billy protected you.
Your words flowed smoothly and created great imagery. I could
picture everything as I read.
Thanks for sharing, Jan
Comment Written 02-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2023
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Thank you for reading and sharing, Jan. I do appreciate it.
John
Comment from jacquelyn popp
Great job. Well done writing your story. This was an interesting short story. That's nice that he's protective when it comes to his younger brother. This was beautifully written. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2023
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Great job. Well done writing your story. This was an interesting short story. That's nice that he's protective when it comes to his younger brother. This was beautifully written. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2023
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Thank you, Jacquelyn, for reading and sharing.
John
Comment from lancellot
Interesting short story. That's how it should be between siblings and family, protect your own.
notes:
This story is told by me, Billy's younger brother[.]
- add
Because of the closeness in our ages, we did almost everything together, but we couldn't be more different (people).
- delete. Not needed.
Billy was pitching and (today) he had some zip on the ball.
- remove. It changes the tense.
I ran over to the spot where I {think} the ball will land.
- thought
He said that getting hit is all "part of the game" and not to lower yourself {our} your standards.
-or
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2023
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Interesting short story. That's how it should be between siblings and family, protect your own.
notes:
This story is told by me, Billy's younger brother[.]
- add
Because of the closeness in our ages, we did almost everything together, but we couldn't be more different (people).
- delete. Not needed.
Billy was pitching and (today) he had some zip on the ball.
- remove. It changes the tense.
I ran over to the spot where I {think} the ball will land.
- thought
He said that getting hit is all "part of the game" and not to lower yourself {our} your standards.
-or
Comment Written 02-Feb-2023
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2023
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Thank you for those corrections. They make sense. I appreciate it very much.
John