Reviews from

Time With Gramp

Gramp's help

32 total reviews 
Comment from kahpot
Excellent
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I really like the way Grandpa seems silent throughout and the little boy is firing questions, trying to get a response, while a story unfolds, very well written and best wishes for your contest****kahpot

 Comment Written 19-Mar-2023


reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023
    Thanks, kahpot. Every child should have a grandfather.
Comment from Mary Vigasin
Excellent
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Great entry in the rhyming contest Paul. It is just a heartwarming poem about a boy and his grandson. I bet it brings warm memories to those who had a great relationship with their grandfathers and, for others, wish for such a grandfather.
The poignant moment when the boy realizes he may have hurt his grandfather is touching and brilliant.
Best wishes,
Mary

 Comment Written 19-Mar-2023


reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023
    Thanks, Mary. Time with grandfathers is important.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent
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Wonderful entry for the Rhyming Poetry Contest. The conversation with grandpa is adorable.

Good rhyme and meter that doesn't sound forced. Nice presentation and imagery.

Good luck in the contest.

Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus

 Comment Written 19-Mar-2023


reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023
    Thanks, Gypsy. Was that Atticus Finch?
Comment from LateBloomer
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Hi Paul, this poem is priceless. A child can tug on our heartstrings like no One else. Your poem reads and flows well, and I could feel the wonder and woe of a child. Of special note:

Now, what do you remember,
Back in nineteen sixty-five,
When you were in South Viet Nam,
Just trying to stay alive?

(Paul, that was a very dark time in history. I salute all the men and women that served. My dad was in WWII, and he spent 3 years in Walter Reed Hospital recovering from his injuries.)

A perfect photo choice. Great rhyming. Well done. Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomer




 Comment Written 19-Mar-2023


reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023
    Thanks, LB. I, also, salute those men and women.
Comment from eliz100
Excellent
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I enjoyed reading your poem. I volunteer at a Vet Center in Scranton, Pa. Some of the Vietnam vets are glad to have support from other Vietnam vets. the rhyming scheme helps the flow of the poem. I do not see any room for improvement. Have a blessed day.

 Comment Written 19-Mar-2023


reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023
    Thanks, eliz100. Thank you for your work with the vets.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Excellent
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You did a great job with your contest entry, Paul.
I enjoyed reading it. I liked the image and the theme
very much. Your words were well-chosen and told a
great little story. The rhyme pattern worked well, too.
You gave readers great info on what the grandson
needed help with. I liked the inclusion of how he
understood about his Gramp's time in VN, and his
reluctance to talk about it.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes in the contest, Jan

 Comment Written 19-Mar-2023


reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023
    Thanks, Jan. Grandfathers are important.
Comment from Frank Malley
Excellent
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Paul McFarland has written an excellent poem for children and grandparents about about helping a kid with his education. As a grandparent, I often wished I were asked for some school help, or drawing help, or ukelele help, but I'm always, alas, competing with a device. I can, of course, ask my grandson for help with my device, but helping me isn't as 'fun' as using cool graphics apps, or watching a lion fight a crocodile. So this poem, skillfully rhyming in alternating four-beat and three-beat lines, seems kinda wishful to me, but I certainly get it. And it features skilled used of alternating rhymes in also-alternating four and three-beat lines.

 Comment Written 19-Mar-2023


reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023
    Thanks, Frank. You are right. The internet is tough competition.
reply by Frank Malley on 20-Mar-2023
    Be well, Paul. Frank
Comment from Spitfire
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This brought back memories of my geometry , history and English classes. The speaker is a sensitive lad who realizes Grampa doesn't want to remember the sad times and quickly changes the subject to a happy one.

 Comment Written 19-Mar-2023


reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023
    Thanks for the review, Shari. I hope your memories of geometry are pleasant ones.
reply by Spitfire on 20-Mar-2023
    I scored 98% on the tough Regents exam in New York's school system. So yes, it was pleasant.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Excellent
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Thank you for sharing this contest entry with us. I enjoyed reading. It flowed smoothly and the rhyming scheme was very good. It made me feel old. My grandparents were born in the late 1890's. My parents were born in the early 1930's. My husband and I were born in the 1950's. I guess I am getting old. DARN!!!! Good luck with the contest.

 Comment Written 19-Mar-2023


reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023
    Thanks, Barb. I know how you feel. I'm older than you.
Comment from Ulla
Excellent
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Hi Paul. This is such a poignant little tale with a rhyming poem. Yet, it touches on so many big and small themes.
In the end, when he sees he's managed to upset his granddad, he settles on a more safe and joyous theme.
I liked it a lot. Good luck in the contest. Ulla:)))

 Comment Written 19-Mar-2023


reply by the author on 20-Mar-2023
    Thanks, Ulla. Grandfathers are important.