Comment from karenina

Excellent

I've been reading some nice loop poems for this contest. Yours seems like a perfect theme, as the circular spin of the potter's wheel reminds me of the "loop" of life we must learn to adapt to. NONE of your loop words seem forced ar somehow awkward (and this is a fine skill, for often this form presents stilted verse!)

I noticed a few "entries" have taken it upon themselves to "loop" the last word of their poem back to the first word. (This is, in some descriptions of the form, although not this one on FanStory a finishing touch and requirement)

It works well, though, and brings the poem full circle.

I'd humbly suggest you consider trying it here.

Perhaps changing the first word to "That" and ending with "That" --

It would enhance an already terrific poem and I KNOW in your hands it would be deftly done!

Karenina

 Comment Written 02-May-2023

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reply by the author on 02-May-2023

Thank you for your thoughtful suggestion.I have found the judges far too stringent with FS rules posted for each contest, sadly I know for the numbe rof rejections I have incurrred. I have seen a different defination and format for loop poems also.

reply by karenina on 02-May-2023

I understand...one reason I seldom enter contests I think.

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

I love pottery and the loop poem is well done.

Good rhyme and meter that doesn't sound forced. Nice presentation and imagery. Good luck in the contest

Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus

 Comment Written 02-May-2023

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reply by the author on 02-May-2023

Thank you, friend. When I sit at the wheel, I remind myself don't stir up the mud, spin it....👍👍

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

Your loop poem read well, JLR. Great job with the
required rhyme pattern. Your lines flowed smoothly
and created great imagery. The loop words added to
the poem itself, not just a repeated word used in the
same way. You told a great little story, too. I liked the
image.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes in the contest, Jan

 Comment Written 02-May-2023

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reply by the author on 02-May-2023

Thank you, Jan!

Comment from royowen

Excellent

These loop poems, are not easy, but because mone of mine worked out well, I didn't actaually post any, but you've done one well, and they turn out according to the ability of the writer, well done Jim, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 02-May-2023

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reply by the author on 02-May-2023

Thanks, Roy, When I sit at the wheel, I remind myself don't stir up the mud, spin it....👍👍

reply by royowen on 02-May-2023

Good onya

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

A fabulous loop poem, Jim! And you do honor to the potter whose wares may only earn him "a dollar a day" or some such poor pay but he knows his craft and takes pride in it. Best wishes in the contest!

 Comment Written 02-May-2023

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reply by the author on 02-May-2023

Helen, thank you. I spend an average of four hours daily on the potter's wheel. I love the loss of time as it just seems to spin away unseen as I create vessels.

reply by lyenochka on 02-May-2023

I'm so glad that you have that skill, too! What a great artistic outlet for you!

Comment from Teri7

Excellent

This is a very well written Loop poem you have penned for the contest. You used very good descriptive words full of great imagery also. The art work goes well with your words. Best wishes in the contest. Teri

 Comment Written 02-May-2023

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reply by the author on 02-May-2023

Teri, thank you! thank you. I spend an average of four hours daily on the potter's wheel. I love the loss of time as it just seems to spin away unseen as I create vessels.

Comment from patcelaw

Excellent

We are all clay that has been thrown on the potters wheel and he is making us into the vessel that he can use. I enjoyed this poem. Even though I am not overly fond of the loop format. Patricia

 Comment Written 02-May-2023

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reply by the author on 02-May-2023

Thank you,

Comment from Janet Foor

Excellent

Lovely loop poem. I'm a fan of pottery and have many handmade pieces that I love but I've never tried my hand at it. When I think of pottery and clay I'm reminded of God being the potter and we are the clay.
I enjoyed reading your fine poem about the potters wheel.
I alway
Blessings
Janet

 Comment Written 02-May-2023

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reply by the author on 02-May-2023

Janet, thank you so much for supporting the artists. I spend an average of four hours daily on the potter's wheel. I love the loss of time as it just seems to spin away unseen as I create vessels. Be blessed in all that you do!

Comment from Sally Law

Excellent

Magnificent poem in this form. My daughter-in-law is a master Potter and taught me how although I'm blind. I ended up making a beautiful piece for my husband: an anniversary plate. I'm so proud of it and can't believe I did it.

Thank you for sharing this and you also included the correct loop form which has an alternate rhyming scheme. Not many know about that.

Sending you my best today is always in my very best for the upcoming contest, Sally xo

 Comment Written 02-May-2023

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reply by the author on 02-May-2023

Thank you Sally, while I am not a master potter, I have been selected by my first gallery to do a show in August. I love the wheel and clay?,

reply by Sally Law on 02-May-2023

Oh, please! You wouldn?t have been selected if you weren?t a master. Good luck! Make sure you post something about your success. :))

Comment from Tom Horonzy

Excellent

Here we find another example, of Johnny Thunder's ditty, that brings print to paper in a loopingly loop poem. By the way, his song was entitled "Loop de Loop." Well done.

 Comment Written 02-May-2023

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reply by the author on 02-May-2023

Oh, I remember Johnny Thunders, an awesome guitarist, and songwriter and vocalist. I still have his album ‎So Alone ...