Reviews from

The Pond Awakens

3-6-9 syllables in 3 stanzas.

29 total reviews 
Comment from royowen
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I'm amazed that all these things are going on while the human world sleeps, well not all the human world sleep, I'm awake usually, this is a great entry in this 3/6/9 poetry contest Jenny, good luck, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2023
    Thanks for your review, Roy. It's a lovely time of day to watch how other creatures live.
reply by royowen on 17-Jun-2023
    It is indeed.
Comment from Goodadvicechan
Excellent
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A very lovely pond poem with fucks swimming in it.

You start the poem with the golden morning scene. It brightens the day for everyone.

Then you show ducks coming in to their favorite pond.

Thanks for sharing

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2023
    hahaha... it's a pity that the 'd' and 'f' are right next to each other on the keyboard. Your review gave me a chuckle at unintentional bad language.
    Thanks for your nice comments.
reply by Goodadvicechan on 17-Jun-2023
    I am sorry
    Please accept my apologies
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2023
    I know you didn't do it on purpose... nothing to be sorry for. I thought it was funny. (I have a strange sense of humour.)
Comment from Michele Harber
Excellent
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That's not fair! Another beautiful poem, and another contest I likely won't enter because I have no comparable scenery to describe.

My window
overlooks a loud street,
and a funeral parlor -- how sweet!

Somehow, I just don't think my view will hold up to yours.

Seriously, your poem is lovely. You paint such clear, vivid verbal pictures, and I love that you involve multiple senses. Of course, if I come up with something I'm proud of, I'll enter it, but I definitely think you have a good chance of winning. Good luck!

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2023
    Hi Michele. I like your city poem... you should continue it and enter it as a contrast.
    Thank you very much for your comments. I had my chuckle for the day with another reviewer's comments... proving a 'fat finger' can have unintentional results due to the 'd' and 'f' being right beside each other on the keyboard:
    'A very lovely pond poem with fucks swimming in it.'
reply by Michele Harber on 17-Jun-2023
    Hey, if there were baby ducks -- or baby anything else in that water -- then it wasn't a case of "fat finger," just an observation. ;-)
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2023
    Yes, that's true, haha.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Excellent
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What a beautiful picture, Lisa May. You certainly captures it with the words of your 3-6-9- poem. It would be geese in our area in fact we have geese who stay the winter here. I always thought that was strange. I think they must fly out to a nearby warm springs when the weather gets bad. Well done. Nancy:)

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2023
    Thanks for reviewing, Nancy. I found your observation of geese in your area very interesting. They must indeed have a secret warm spot.
Comment from Ginda Simpson
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

What a great 3 - 6- 9 poem this is. You have taken a scene and painted it with your words. And then you add the music. This is really a lovely piece of writing.

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2023
    I really appreciate your wonderful review! Thank you so much for your complimentary words and high rating.
Comment from Pantygynt
Excellent
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I like it as it is. The trouble with honking is that it is the noise geese make in flight. In dispute at ground level they hiss at each othe rather than honk.

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 16-Jun-2023
    I much prefer ducks to geese. Thanks for the information about goose behaviour - I am not as familiar with them. We have Canada geese here, which have become a pest and need to be culled, and apparently a couple of centuries ago we had a large flightless land goose which weighed about 18 kilograms - now extinct.
reply by Pantygynt on 16-Jun-2023
    Extinct? So Christmas won in that particular case.
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2023
    Must've had bigger ovens back then.
Comment from JSD
Excellent
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Love this. Thank you for sharing such beautiful imagery. The first two stanzas are especially effective, from the brush strokes at the start (one of those 'I wish I'd thought of that' moments) to the sun-kissed water. If I had to be picky, I find the sounds of the last stanza jar slightly with the beauty of the rest, but maybe that is the point?

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2023


reply by the author on 16-Jun-2023
    You have noticed exactly the point - all that quacking does spoil the tranquility. Thanks for your perceptive review.
reply by JSD on 16-Jun-2023
    Sorry. Just looked at the title. I'm so stupid. x
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2023
    Don't quite know what you are apologising for?
reply by JSD on 16-Jun-2023
    Coz I hedged my suggestion, when it was actually obvious! x
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2023
    Some people might like a lot of chatter and noise in the early morning, so you were probably sensible to not take too much for granted in assessing my intention with a slightly jarring last stanza... seems we are on the same page with appreciating peace and quiet rather than a mob of quackers.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Excellent
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This scene is alive with activity here Lisa and I enjoyed your fine trio of 3-6-9 for the contest. A lively pond can attract many creatures who thrive there, much enjoyed, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2023

Comment from Wendy G
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Ah, just beautiful, and so very lyrical. I see this one as a winner! Love the rhyme and near-rhyme, and the golden tones throughout, as well as the alliteration. Skilfully composed in every way.
Wendy

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2023

Comment from forestport12
Excellent
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Loved that line, "The burnished wings." I could picture and feel that moment as they highlight their prolific wings. And then the contrast of a gloomy night to the return of a "sun-kissed water," one that is gleaming and teaming with life.

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2023