The Last Straw
Their first and final date. (150 words)30 total reviews
Comment from GregoryCody
HA! GREAT!
Fun story.
Tight writing. Succinct. Poetic language.
Ted's voice droned on the periphery of her consciousness
Ooh mushy snowflakes too!
Then a very good twist at the end.
Hallmarks of a Great FF!
WELL DESERVED :)
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2023
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HA! GREAT!
Fun story.
Tight writing. Succinct. Poetic language.
Ted's voice droned on the periphery of her consciousness
Ooh mushy snowflakes too!
Then a very good twist at the end.
Hallmarks of a Great FF!
WELL DESERVED :)
Comment Written 12-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2023
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Thanks very much for this high rating and your supportive comments, Gregory. Much appreciated and I'm pleased you were entertained by my story.
Comment from Faith Williams
This one made me laugh! Love the play on the phrases, 'light at the end of the tunnel' and 'she'd be going home.' You definitely have that twist at the end. Great piece of flash. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
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This one made me laugh! Love the play on the phrases, 'light at the end of the tunnel' and 'she'd be going home.' You definitely have that twist at the end. Great piece of flash. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
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I've just reviewed your story 'Stolen Identity', so I am very pleased this story of mine was able to make you laugh. So glad you stopped by to review. Thank you!
Comment from Ginda Simpson
Oh my gosh, Lisa, you had me! This is so cleverly done, you rope us in slowly, as we anticipate the worse and then with one big slurp you deliver the punch. Super. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
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Oh my gosh, Lisa, you had me! This is so cleverly done, you rope us in slowly, as we anticipate the worse and then with one big slurp you deliver the punch. Super. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
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What a super review! Thank you so much for appreciating my story.
Comment from Mia Twysted
This was very well done. I did not see the end coming as it did. I am glad she was not trapped in the snow, but I have been on those dates where you think you might never get away and it felt like you were about to die.
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This was very well done. I did not see the end coming as it did. I am glad she was not trapped in the snow, but I have been on those dates where you think you might never get away and it felt like you were about to die.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2023
Comment from Pantygynt
I had a good giggle at this one. I doubt if Ted had the nerve to ask whether Carol would like to meet him again. She should have been grateful she was still alive.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
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I had a good giggle at this one. I doubt if Ted had the nerve to ask whether Carol would like to meet him again. She should have been grateful she was still alive.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
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Thanks very much for taking the time to review and for your supportive comments. I was hoping it would make people giggle. Mission accomplished!
Comment from Debbie Pope
You had me going in all directions with this one. The photo was very helpful at misleading. Several of your sentences point to a snow mishap. So, I obviously did not second guess your ending. I always like to be misled.
My take on this one is that Carol needs to get together with my granddaughter Joanna. The two of them appreciate the ecstasy of sweet food.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
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You had me going in all directions with this one. The photo was very helpful at misleading. Several of your sentences point to a snow mishap. So, I obviously did not second guess your ending. I always like to be misled.
My take on this one is that Carol needs to get together with my granddaughter Joanna. The two of them appreciate the ecstasy of sweet food.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
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What a super review! Thank you so much for appreciating my story.
I have a sweet tooth myself.
Comment from Mary Vigasin
This is funny, clever and creative.
You kept me interested and in suspense until the end.
Brilliant.
Good luck in the contest; I do not doubt that it will be a contender.
Mary
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
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This is funny, clever and creative.
You kept me interested and in suspense until the end.
Brilliant.
Good luck in the contest; I do not doubt that it will be a contender.
Mary
Comment Written 10-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
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I am most appreciative of this lovely review, Mary. Thank you!
Comment from Wendy G
Very clever and humorous. A very enjoyable read and a great twist at the end. Clever thinking on her part. Well written. Great image too. Sending best wishes for this. I am sure it will be successful!
Wendy
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
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Very clever and humorous. A very enjoyable read and a great twist at the end. Clever thinking on her part. Well written. Great image too. Sending best wishes for this. I am sure it will be successful!
Wendy
Comment Written 10-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
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Super review, thank you Wendy! Glad you found it entertaining... I had fun entertaining myself writing it.
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Haha. I thought from the picture above that she had come to an awful demise. But the ending was a kicker when she slurped her straw and then regained the will to live.
Bored to death. That is funny and a great play on words. Thanks for putting me straight.
I needed a good laugh today.
Jesse
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
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Haha. I thought from the picture above that she had come to an awful demise. But the ending was a kicker when she slurped her straw and then regained the will to live.
Bored to death. That is funny and a great play on words. Thanks for putting me straight.
I needed a good laugh today.
Jesse
Comment Written 10-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
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Jesse, I am most grateful that you found this story worthy of bestowing a 6, and that you got a laugh when needed. I send you good wishes. x
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Yes, this was funny, and I had a good laugh.
Take care,
Jesse
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Better to be laughing than sad.
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So true.
Comment from royowen
Heh heh, I love this post Jenny, you have pointed out that Ted could be a little bore, by his constant attention to her, but some girls might like it, but not so Carol, I didn't like being molicoddled either, beautifully written, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
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Heh heh, I love this post Jenny, you have pointed out that Ted could be a little bore, by his constant attention to her, but some girls might like it, but not so Carol, I didn't like being molicoddled either, beautifully written, blessings Roy
Comment Written 10-Sep-2023
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2023
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Attention is usually welcome from someone if they are appealing, but Carol didn't seem to enjoy Ted's company. I have been in this situation myself, and have perfected slurping the last drop of a milkshake.
Thanks for reviewing, Roy, and for your nice comments.