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Guided by Faith

Viewing comments for Chapter 49 "Chapter 32"
Can faith guide our path?

38 total reviews 
Comment from Douglas Goff
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

What a sad chapter. Death really sucks. You did a great job describing the emotional turmoil involved.

Question here:

"She can be little much in large crowds."
(Missing an 'a'?)

Also, I was not sure about the word maneuver. Maybe coordinate or arrange? Maybe just me.

D

 Comment Written 05-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 05-Feb-2024
    I changed both of the areas. Thank you for the catches. I appreciate the help.
reply by Douglas Goff on 05-Feb-2024
    Awesome! Glad I could help my biggest supporter!
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2024
    Always!!
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Excellent
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I don't know how you keep it all in your head. This is moving along fine. Death brings some folks closer, keeps others apart. They will all be fine. Love of God and each other make them a strong family , Good writing. This all ends in May? Now I am sad. :-(
Karen

 Comment Written 05-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 05-Feb-2024
    March, did I write the wrong month. I might have. I'll check it. Thank you for the kind review.
reply by Karen Cherry Threadgill on 05-Feb-2024
    no, that was my booboo.
reply by the author on 05-Feb-2024
    I did check just in case.
Comment from Jacob1395
Excellent
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I could feel Emma's emotions really strongly in this piece as she comes to terms with the loss of her father. I am glad that she has Seth and Molly to comfort her. An excellent chapter, Barbara. I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next.

 Comment Written 05-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 05-Feb-2024
    Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Excellent
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"we need TO give each other grace"

The sentence "I become almost functional after a while" doesn't feel right. "I became dysfunctional for a while" ?

"She can be A little much in large crowds."

before he STARTED - not stared (Pastor Pat speaking in den)

"If you need to anything tonight" - lose "to"

"There are different shades yellow, orange, coral, and violet." Maybe add shades "of" yellow . . .
I love the line, "I'd do anything for you." That solidified the way Seth feels about Emma and was my favorite part of this chapter.

I think you say that Emma "melted into Seth's chest" three times in this chapter. Maybe rephrase it somehow?

I think Keith's death will actually bring Seth and Emma closer together, and her dependence on her dad will shift to Seth.

By the way, I don't mind reading the longer chapters. I actually prefer them, because less interruptions in a scene makes for better flow of the story. I'm sure your other readers won't mind.

Have a great week.

xo
Pam

 Comment Written 05-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 05-Feb-2024
    Thank you for the corrections. I have a horrible habit of leaving out the little words. When I edit, I read it as if those words are there. GRR. I wanted to get the feeling of Emma melting into Seth as showing how much she trusts him; I feel just being held isn't enough. I'll search for another word.
Comment from royowen
Excellent
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Don't worry I've been angry with God, almost like He allowed me to be led into a betrayal, but that was a long time ago, but it shaped me. And this will shape Emma, and you will make sure of it, and because God is in this, you'll do well Barbara, well done, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 05-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 05-Feb-2024
    I was angry with God when one of my babies died during open heart surgery. He was very patient. I now have a closer relationship with Him. Thank you for the kind review.
reply by royowen on 05-Feb-2024
    The same with me Barbara, my friend betrayed me. But He Changed at the end of His life, I changed too
reply by royowen on 05-Feb-2024
    The same with me Barbara, my friend betrayed me. But He Changed at the end of His life, I changed too
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Losing a parent can bring so much grief and sorrow and I am glad Emma has Seth to comfort her in her hour of need. Another fine chapter in your story Barbara and your dialogue is authentic and believable and brings a tear to my eye, love Dolly x

 Comment Written 05-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 05-Feb-2024
    Thank you for the encouragement.
Comment from T B Botts
Excellent
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Hello Barbara,
there's a lot of emotion in this chapter, as one would expect during the time of a passing of a loved one. Of course Seth and Emma seem to love each other, and at the beginning of a relationship, there are stars in the lover's eyes. I wonder if things will remain the same as time goes on. It would be difficult to be Seth I would think at this particular time. How to proceed in a supportive manner without being suffocating might be a challenge. Thanks for sharing.
Have a blessed evening.
Tom

 Comment Written 05-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 05-Feb-2024
    It is a challenge. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You did an impressive job of writing about the death of Emma's father. You have moved us readers to share the sorrow with her and you no doubt will miss Keith as well, since he was part of your story.

 Comment Written 05-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 05-Feb-2024
    Thank you for the understanding.
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
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That was a very sad and moving chapter. She is fortunate to have Seth and other good friends to comfort her. This will test her faith, but will make it more real. She'll come to accept the inevitability of death, and God's grace in giving eternal life. He does know what He's doing.
Wendy
Edit: I become (became) almost functional after a while.
You're (Your) dad helped me with it.

 Comment Written 05-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 05-Feb-2024
    Thank you for the catches. I appreciate the help. Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Excellent
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This chapter is all about Emma's grief for her father. It's going to be a hard journey for her and she's going to have to run the gamut of those emotions, namely anger at the moment. Seth is there to help her through it but he's not Keith and the father-daughter bond was obviously very strong. Poor Emma has been through so much at the moment. You capture the complexities of her emotions well here, e.g. her need for companionship and yet her rejection of Seth. He will need to tread very carefully. Well done, Barbara! Debbie

 Comment Written 04-Feb-2024


reply by the author on 05-Feb-2024
    I was a daddy's girl. Emma will struggle with this. Thank you for the kind review.