The Way the Wind Moves
The way the wind move16 total reviews
Comment from TPAC
The key thought is the wind do move, as you stated it travel slow or fast in its attempted efforts: as high or low pertaining the ground. As stated the wind moves, but why? And where is it going; or coming from are my questions?
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The key thought is the wind do move, as you stated it travel slow or fast in its attempted efforts: as high or low pertaining the ground. As stated the wind moves, but why? And where is it going; or coming from are my questions?
Comment Written 20-Nov-2024
Comment from Aussie
"the wind moves like the ocean." Welcome to fanstory. I think you could have expanded this poem. EG. the wind is pure energy and maybe you could have said, "The wind can be gentle or savage." It can move a lot faster than a roadrunner. I appreciate you are a newbie and we are here to help. Keep the roadrunner out of it, it is fiction and the wind is eternal. Keep writing. K xx
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"the wind moves like the ocean." Welcome to fanstory. I think you could have expanded this poem. EG. the wind is pure energy and maybe you could have said, "The wind can be gentle or savage." It can move a lot faster than a roadrunner. I appreciate you are a newbie and we are here to help. Keep the roadrunner out of it, it is fiction and the wind is eternal. Keep writing. K xx
Comment Written 20-Nov-2024
Comment from Nicki.B
I really like your descriptions of the wind, I used to love the 'roadrunner' cartoon as a kid, you brought that memory back for me!
Just a couple of typos perhaps?
Line 2 that's
Line 4 'an' airplane
Line 5 'moves'
Hope this helps! Well done
Best Wishes
Nicki
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I really like your descriptions of the wind, I used to love the 'roadrunner' cartoon as a kid, you brought that memory back for me!
Just a couple of typos perhaps?
Line 2 that's
Line 4 'an' airplane
Line 5 'moves'
Hope this helps! Well done
Best Wishes
Nicki
Comment Written 20-Nov-2024
Comment from Natureschild
This short poem about the wind has a lot of potential. The use of simile's creates vivid imagery. I believe this work will benefit from revised grammar and structure.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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This short poem about the wind has a lot of potential. The use of simile's creates vivid imagery. I believe this work will benefit from revised grammar and structure.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2024
Comment from kahpot
I like your descriptions of the wind, I imagine the ripples on the ocean, if I may ask, could your third line be made into two lines, so all lines may appear to be the same length, none the less very well done****kahpot
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I like your descriptions of the wind, I imagine the ripples on the ocean, if I may ask, could your third line be made into two lines, so all lines may appear to be the same length, none the less very well done****kahpot
Comment Written 20-Nov-2024
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
You brought the gust of wind here in your short poem about the wind. Sometimes the wind can sweep us off our feet!
Suggestion for this line:
(Lastly, the wind (moves) like the ocean)
Love Dolly x x x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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You brought the gust of wind here in your short poem about the wind. Sometimes the wind can sweep us off our feet!
Suggestion for this line:
(Lastly, the wind (moves) like the ocean)
Love Dolly x x x
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Nov-2024