On a Bench by the Sea
Dialogue-only contest entry14 total reviews
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
We know with your writing, Jess, there is always something much deeper than simply the words on the page, something much more spiritual. In this case, this is a conversation that starts off, seemingly, between two strangers and then concludes as two very much related, albeit in different time zones (on account of the father's confused condition). While he is still living in the past, traumatised by his wife's worsening disease and the consequences for their daughter, she turns out to be the adult version of his daughter who is patiently and lovingly trying to offer him comfort and reassurance. The backdrop of the house with the white balcony is symbolically resonant, bonding these three (including the deceased mother) forever together while presenting an enduring image of beauty and contentment. Thank you for sharing your well-crafted and charming read. Jess. Good luck! Debbie
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We know with your writing, Jess, there is always something much deeper than simply the words on the page, something much more spiritual. In this case, this is a conversation that starts off, seemingly, between two strangers and then concludes as two very much related, albeit in different time zones (on account of the father's confused condition). While he is still living in the past, traumatised by his wife's worsening disease and the consequences for their daughter, she turns out to be the adult version of his daughter who is patiently and lovingly trying to offer him comfort and reassurance. The backdrop of the house with the white balcony is symbolically resonant, bonding these three (including the deceased mother) forever together while presenting an enduring image of beauty and contentment. Thank you for sharing your well-crafted and charming read. Jess. Good luck! Debbie
Comment Written 22-Dec-2024
Comment from royowen
Having a loving wife , and who is a very upright and faithful woman who has many friends, and two daughters who are in the image of their mother, all first class wives and mothers, i so relate to this so relatable story, well done, blessings Roy
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Having a loving wife , and who is a very upright and faithful woman who has many friends, and two daughters who are in the image of their mother, all first class wives and mothers, i so relate to this so relatable story, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 22-Dec-2024
Comment from Peter Jarvis
"On a Bench by the Sea" is a deeply moving and beautifully crafted dialogue-only piece that captures the essence of human connection, memory, and love. The conversation between the characters flows naturally and reveals profound emotions and personal histories without needing any narrative exposition.
The simplicity of the setting--a bench by the sea--serves as a perfect backdrop for this poignant exchange. The dialogue is heartfelt and authentic, drawing the reader into the intimate moments shared by the characters. The revelation of the father's confusion and the daughter's compassionate reassurance is both touching and powerful, highlighting the enduring bond between them.
The piece masterfully balances themes of love, loss, and resilience, making it resonate deeply with readers. The subtle hints about the father's condition and the daughter's unwavering support add layers of depth to the story, making it a truly exceptional entry for the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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"On a Bench by the Sea" is a deeply moving and beautifully crafted dialogue-only piece that captures the essence of human connection, memory, and love. The conversation between the characters flows naturally and reveals profound emotions and personal histories without needing any narrative exposition.
The simplicity of the setting--a bench by the sea--serves as a perfect backdrop for this poignant exchange. The dialogue is heartfelt and authentic, drawing the reader into the intimate moments shared by the characters. The revelation of the father's confusion and the daughter's compassionate reassurance is both touching and powerful, highlighting the enduring bond between them.
The piece masterfully balances themes of love, loss, and resilience, making it resonate deeply with readers. The subtle hints about the father's condition and the daughter's unwavering support add layers of depth to the story, making it a truly exceptional entry for the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Dec-2024
Comment from Lana Marie
What a beautiful dialogue story. Very touching when you realize that it's a daughter and her dad. This reminds me so much of the Notebook movie.
I noticed this sentence below that the first few letters didn't get highlighted when you chose a bigger font. It won't show on my review, but you'll see it on your story when you go to edit it
(Yes. You see, he lost the...)
Also on this line, there's a missing word..
. I will be here, just as(.)were for me.
Good luck in the contest
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2024
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What a beautiful dialogue story. Very touching when you realize that it's a daughter and her dad. This reminds me so much of the Notebook movie.
I noticed this sentence below that the first few letters didn't get highlighted when you chose a bigger font. It won't show on my review, but you'll see it on your story when you go to edit it
(Yes. You see, he lost the...)
Also on this line, there's a missing word..
. I will be here, just as(.)were for me.
Good luck in the contest
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 23-Dec-2024
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Lana, I appreciate this so much. Thank you for your kind words and catch. I made those edits.
Xoxo