The Devil Fights Back
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "The Devil Fights Back - Ch. 26"Challenges in the pharmaceutical field
15 total reviews
Comment from Cecilia A Heiskary
Jim,
This is a great addition to your book. It appears Marie had one to many drinks. Serve her right to drink on an empty stomach. Sounds like Johnny's birthday party went well.
Well done
Cecilia
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2025
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Jim,
This is a great addition to your book. It appears Marie had one to many drinks. Serve her right to drink on an empty stomach. Sounds like Johnny's birthday party went well.
Well done
Cecilia
Comment Written 21-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2025
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Thanks, Cecilia. Another step in revealing how far Marie still has to go to become a decent person.
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Yes, I would call Marie a piece of work.
Comment from Wayne Fowler
This was a hard chapter for me. I could not identify with anything. But that's okay. I'm not your audience.
Willy's autobiography to Marie seemed overly detailed to the setting.
He's a good husband and father too and quite a stud, as he reminds everyone." - Whoa. The 'stud' thing seems to come out of the blue. I would have set 'too' off with commas.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2025
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This was a hard chapter for me. I could not identify with anything. But that's okay. I'm not your audience.
Willy's autobiography to Marie seemed overly detailed to the setting.
He's a good husband and father too and quite a stud, as he reminds everyone." - Whoa. The 'stud' thing seems to come out of the blue. I would have set 'too' off with commas.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2025
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I don't really follow what you mean by "could not identify with anything." If you mean something like Marie's drinking, bigotry, and behavior throughout, I can't identify with that either, but that's the whole point: to show that she is a flawed person who has a lot to learn about becoming a decent one.
If instead, you mean "anything at all," can't you identify with Julia's embarrassment or Brian's attempt to ease the situation by ushering her off the stage in a non-embarrassing way and later removing her from the situation by taking her downstairs to show her the mounted photo of Julia, then comforting her when she breaks down and apologizes. Couldn't you identify with Fran's not knowing how to respond to Marie's crude remark about Brian's being a stud (which was a reference back to what he pretended Julia said in the pseudo-apology he acted out for Marie and Julia in chapter 12.)
When you say, "but that's okay because I'm not your audience," well, you are because you're reading it. If it's not to your liking, I won't be offended if you quit reading it. I often quit reading books that I find I'm not too keen on after all. I quit reading James Michener's Hawaii which was over 1,200 pages long when I was 150 pages from the end. I just got tired of reading it. That's perfectly fine.
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My remark was overly broad. Sorry. Drunkenness really bothers me (personal, I know). And I don't see Marie being led anywhere, particularly down any stairs.
As far as identifying, I realize that makes no sense. How could I then enjoy space thrillers? As for quitting a book... I've quit many, especially since I get them free on Kindle Unlimited - smiley face here But I don't quit FS friends who support my stuff.
Thanks for flushing me out. (out, not down) another smiley face here
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You don't identify with space thrillers? C'mon man, this is the 21st century. You may take a ride in space someday yourself!
No, I get it. I understand how it's difficult to see drunkenness or addiction of any kind, but that's part of any story of redemption. That's only part of this story, but I've got to show the low points in Marie's life and character so that the improvement has context and meaning.
I was being honest about quitting the story if it ends up no longer entertaining you. Please don't feel you have to keep reading unless you're enjoying it. This is a long tale, which I finished writing last week, and it came in at 82,000 words. At this point in the story, we aren't quite halfway, and I would hate to think you're reading it if you aren't enjoying it.
Comment from Wendy G
Not what I was expecting of Marie - and yet, you made it seem so natural, and in a way it is bringing her to view her own self with a good strong look at who she is, and all that she has done. She'll be reassessing what makes life meaningful, and everyting about relationships, which she's never had or been good at, or perhaps even wanted! Well done.
Wendy
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reply by the author on 21-Jan-2025
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Not what I was expecting of Marie - and yet, you made it seem so natural, and in a way it is bringing her to view her own self with a good strong look at who she is, and all that she has done. She'll be reassessing what makes life meaningful, and everyting about relationships, which she's never had or been good at, or perhaps even wanted! Well done.
Wendy
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Comment Written 21-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2025
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Thanks so much, Wendy. You've really nailed it with your comments here. It's reassessment time for Marie, and the next chapter will add even more to this.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
This is a nit: I decided to sample the wares at the bar, where the bartender would be making drinks. This sounds redundant to me, as making drinks at a bar is why there is a bar. This could simply be, "I decided to sample the wares of the bar."
Well, what a shift in the story we have here. Marie played the fool again, and she embarrassed Julia, but I believe the scene with her on her knees marks a change to come.
A good chapter featuring Marie - we see the worst side of her and the best trying to get out and become the dominant personality.
Well played, Jim. (See what I did there, lol?)
xo
Pam
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2025
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This is a nit: I decided to sample the wares at the bar, where the bartender would be making drinks. This sounds redundant to me, as making drinks at a bar is why there is a bar. This could simply be, "I decided to sample the wares of the bar."
Well, what a shift in the story we have here. Marie played the fool again, and she embarrassed Julia, but I believe the scene with her on her knees marks a change to come.
A good chapter featuring Marie - we see the worst side of her and the best trying to get out and become the dominant personality.
Well played, Jim. (See what I did there, lol?)
xo
Pam
Comment Written 21-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2025
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Good nit. I simplified it as you suggested. Thanks! Thanks also for this wonderful, perceptive review, Pam. This, as well as the next chapter, really does force Marie to take a hard look at her life and her future. She realizes it's not a pretty picture unless changes are made.
Thanks for those 6 stars too, Pam. They mean a lot coming from you.
Comment from Karen Cherry
Marie is facing her past, and she is not so happy about it.
This is good writing. How is the weather up there? Here it is 27% and cloudy, no snow. Love to you and yours. karen
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reply by the author on 21-Jan-2025
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Marie is facing her past, and she is not so happy about it.
This is good writing. How is the weather up there? Here it is 27% and cloudy, no snow. Love to you and yours. karen
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2025
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Thanks very much, Karen. Marie is now being forced to take a good look at herself and why she behaves as she does. The next chapter will solidify this and perhaps show her a way out.
The weather promises to be very cold all week here.
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24% and sunny