RESIDUE OF WAR
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "A Safer Place"And the futility of it all...
20 total reviews
Comment from heyjude
Alpacalady,
I'm sure you speak for so many men who have gone to war and
had to leave their children and families behind. It must be so difficult
to come back and see them changed so much. Wonderful job of putting it in words.
reply by the author on 01-May-2008
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Alpacalady,
I'm sure you speak for so many men who have gone to war and
had to leave their children and families behind. It must be so difficult
to come back and see them changed so much. Wonderful job of putting it in words.
Comment Written 01-May-2008
reply by the author on 01-May-2008
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Thanks so much heyjude. He's had to deal with it so many times during the years he was in the Navy, but I think coming back after Iraq was the icing on the cake really. So much had changed for him, and for us during that time. I appreciate your warm thoughts and support. xoxoxo
Comment from Paradox Tremors
A truly well written piece that surely every father feels and wish to express to their children. Duty calls and must be obeyed, but if life permitted, father would stay and be with his children always. Brought a tear or two to my eyes. Can't find the words to express how wonderfully written I think this was. Please accept my rating as it is the highest they will allow me to give.
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2008
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A truly well written piece that surely every father feels and wish to express to their children. Duty calls and must be obeyed, but if life permitted, father would stay and be with his children always. Brought a tear or two to my eyes. Can't find the words to express how wonderfully written I think this was. Please accept my rating as it is the highest they will allow me to give.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 30-Apr-2008
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Have already replied in pm. But again, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Words can't express my surprise and gratitude... xoxoxo
Comment from jshep
A lovely twist to share the father's emotions of having to be gone and miss so much. The rhyme and flow, free verse, all worked well. Felt the emotional pull of the father's love and regrets. I might suggest you go through and see if there is an 'and' or other unnecessary word, just to tighten it up. Example: "blessed the day you were born, and they placed you" - might suggest "blessed the day you were born. When they placed you in my arms I solemnly vowed."
Very nicely done. No spag.
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2008
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A lovely twist to share the father's emotions of having to be gone and miss so much. The rhyme and flow, free verse, all worked well. Felt the emotional pull of the father's love and regrets. I might suggest you go through and see if there is an 'and' or other unnecessary word, just to tighten it up. Example: "blessed the day you were born, and they placed you" - might suggest "blessed the day you were born. When they placed you in my arms I solemnly vowed."
Very nicely done. No spag.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2008
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Thanks as always jshep! Will have a look at what you've suggested! Bless you xoxoxo
Comment from earthlybeing
It is beautiful and heartfelt. My husband served in Vietnam and I know he missed being a part of the family and all that happened can never be re-lived. God bless you all and especially Glen. My step son's name is Glenn.
Thanks, Jeanette
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2008
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It is beautiful and heartfelt. My husband served in Vietnam and I know he missed being a part of the family and all that happened can never be re-lived. God bless you all and especially Glen. My step son's name is Glenn.
Thanks, Jeanette
Comment Written 29-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2008
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Thank you Jeanette. Small world ain't it? I appreciate the generous rating, and that I've reached out to a kindred spirit. And may God bless you and yours. xoxoxo
Comment from carolm5415
I can feel the pain of the father having to leave his child behind so often to go off and fight in dangerous situations. The poem is well written and flows well both in rhyme and rhythm.
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2008
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I can feel the pain of the father having to leave his child behind so often to go off and fight in dangerous situations. The poem is well written and flows well both in rhyme and rhythm.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 29-Apr-2008
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Thank you so very much for your comments, thoughts and rating. It's encouraging getting reviews like this and keeps me going back to the keyboard! Bless you carolm xoxoxo
Comment from aviddbrut
very poignant poem. you may be right about how hard it is for those who leave. I had a couple of jobs when my boys were small that took me away from home several nights a week and even that small amount of time felt like an eternity away from them. you capture the feelings well. david
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2008
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very poignant poem. you may be right about how hard it is for those who leave. I had a couple of jobs when my boys were small that took me away from home several nights a week and even that small amount of time felt like an eternity away from them. you capture the feelings well. david
Comment Written 28-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2008
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Thanks so much David. I think sometimes it doesn't matter how long a person goes away for. My Dad was a travelling salesman and was away for two to three nights most weeks, and I wonder now how he felt at leaving his daughters behind. I appreciate your comments and generous rating. Thanks again! xoxoxo
Comment from Sleep
Hi there,
This s simply exquisite and from an absent father's perspective it brought a tear to the eye.
you have been so intelligent and insightful to place yourself in Glen's shoes or rather his mind and the fact that you can do so with so much accuracy and clarity is testiment to the depth of your relationship and to your family unit overall.
I would be a very proud man indeed if my wife could do what you have just done.
It doesn't make it clear what age range Glen 'missed' whilst away from Brooke, but he can rest assured that whatever part of her life he missed, Children have no need for humn responses like holding grudges or counting days, they just accept what they get really in terms of human contact and largely adapt up or down in keeping with that level of contact, and at the end of the very long days, he did come home!
Also many fathers do not get that contact at all with their Children but re-assure your husband that it does not mean that they love their Children any less or that the Children don't love their Dads, Kids really are a lot more resilient than us adults in fact they put us to shame in that department.
May I wish you all the best wishes in the world to your truly bonded family unit, and finally say that as far as Children are concerned, absence really does make the heart grow stronger!
Regards and best wishes,
Neil.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2008
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Hi there,
This s simply exquisite and from an absent father's perspective it brought a tear to the eye.
you have been so intelligent and insightful to place yourself in Glen's shoes or rather his mind and the fact that you can do so with so much accuracy and clarity is testiment to the depth of your relationship and to your family unit overall.
I would be a very proud man indeed if my wife could do what you have just done.
It doesn't make it clear what age range Glen 'missed' whilst away from Brooke, but he can rest assured that whatever part of her life he missed, Children have no need for humn responses like holding grudges or counting days, they just accept what they get really in terms of human contact and largely adapt up or down in keeping with that level of contact, and at the end of the very long days, he did come home!
Also many fathers do not get that contact at all with their Children but re-assure your husband that it does not mean that they love their Children any less or that the Children don't love their Dads, Kids really are a lot more resilient than us adults in fact they put us to shame in that department.
May I wish you all the best wishes in the world to your truly bonded family unit, and finally say that as far as Children are concerned, absence really does make the heart grow stronger!
Regards and best wishes,
Neil.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2008
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Thanks so much Sleep. Now that Glen's out of the Navy, we have him home most nights unless he's called out for his current job (he's a Linesman). It's weird to be sitting here now thinking of all this stuff, while at the time of being "in" it, it was a case of surviving it, for us and Glen. I really loved your comments and insights here (not to mention the 5 rating!), I did my best to make things easy for Brookey, especially on birthdays and that one Christmas he was away. She did suffer some, but now I think she wishes that he'd go a way just a touch more! This is why I wrote this, as I want her to be able to see things from Glen's perspective. A tall order for a 14 year old, but worth a try! Again, it was a lovely surprise to have a review from you again - I always love reading what you've got to say. Bless you Neil xoxoxo
Comment from Dodger
It naturally is very personal and the seven months comes out well aginst the grief of not seeing your child grow up. I would have felt more universal affinity with the work if it had been in the third person rather than your career. The good and evil statement was provocative.
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reply by the author on 28-Apr-2008
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It naturally is very personal and the seven months comes out well aginst the grief of not seeing your child grow up. I would have felt more universal affinity with the work if it had been in the third person rather than your career. The good and evil statement was provocative.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2008
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Thanks Dodger! xoxoxo
Comment from lee_poe
What a beautiful, heartfelt poem. I really enjoyed reading and empathizing with it.
I'm glad you and Brooke have him home again!
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2008
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What a beautiful, heartfelt poem. I really enjoyed reading and empathizing with it.
I'm glad you and Brooke have him home again!
Comment Written 28-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2008
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Sometimes I don't think she is! She's fourteen, and a bit "stuck up" and can't understand where her Dad is coming from right now. This is largely why I wrote this, as I think seeing things from his perspective might be what she needs... Thanks again for your comments and rating lee_poe! xoxoxo
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After my second daughter attained the age of 14, I vowed that if I ever had another teenage daughter, I would maroon her on a desert island until she hit 20!
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And I sure hope her and Brooke get on well...
Comment from P1
this is a sad piece of poetry and
a great story could come of it. yeah
it is very sad leaving ones children and
you have showed the emotions involved very
vividly here. thank you for sharing hugs.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2008
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this is a sad piece of poetry and
a great story could come of it. yeah
it is very sad leaving ones children and
you have showed the emotions involved very
vividly here. thank you for sharing hugs.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2008
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2008
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No worries paige won! Thanks so much for your comments and rating. Hubby was touched by this, and said it was "beautiful". I'm glad 'coz I managed to get it right from his perspective, which is, of course, what I was trying to do! And I'm glad that you appreciated its message as well. Thanks again! xoxoxoo