Shadows in the Dust
A tribute to Lieutenant Colonel Hal Moore27 total reviews
Comment from Wendyanne
Hi alpaca. This is a very well written piece of war poetry in which you have used some very vivid descriptions of the battleground. I am a big fan of war poetry particularly from world war one by a poet called Wilfred Owen
reply by the author on 26-May-2008
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Hi alpaca. This is a very well written piece of war poetry in which you have used some very vivid descriptions of the battleground. I am a big fan of war poetry particularly from world war one by a poet called Wilfred Owen
Comment Written 25-May-2008
reply by the author on 26-May-2008
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Thanks so much Wendy! I might go and have a look at some of Mr Owen's work. I honestly have never written war poetry until this year, and it's strange how I seem to be doing a few of them now. I think there is a force at work who is conveying messages through my fingertips.... I guess us poets are simply that: messengers. Again, I thank you for your great review and comments xoxoxo
Comment from Soloneili
It gives me great pleasure to place a garland of six stars around this poem. It truly moved me. The presentation, picture and colour scheme set of a dour but wonderful tribute to these warriors. They are though, warriors who have to deal with the horrors of it all, the sights and the mental anguish. They eventually have to return and try to live a normal life. This is one of the very finest of war poems I have ever read.
What inspired this may have been a movie, but what it contains is the soul of the writer, and someone who empathises with a soldier's plight.
A priviledge to read.
reply by the author on 26-May-2008
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It gives me great pleasure to place a garland of six stars around this poem. It truly moved me. The presentation, picture and colour scheme set of a dour but wonderful tribute to these warriors. They are though, warriors who have to deal with the horrors of it all, the sights and the mental anguish. They eventually have to return and try to live a normal life. This is one of the very finest of war poems I have ever read.
What inspired this may have been a movie, but what it contains is the soul of the writer, and someone who empathises with a soldier's plight.
A priviledge to read.
Comment Written 25-May-2008
reply by the author on 26-May-2008
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It gave me great pleasur to read this review Soloneili. I was genuinely affected by your comments, as said in pm, and feel humbled at the moment. Won't rave on anymore, except to say, again, thank you so very humbly xoxoxoxo
Comment from AlvinTEthington
Very good biting social commentary about the effect war has on young men. They come back wounded in soul, as you so aptly show. And unless one was there, one cannot truly understand. Good use of the difficult aabb rhyme scheme. Because of the serious nature of the poem, it does not give the poem a lilting tone. Excellent imagery and juxtaposition of picture and poem.
reply by the author on 25-May-2008
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Very good biting social commentary about the effect war has on young men. They come back wounded in soul, as you so aptly show. And unless one was there, one cannot truly understand. Good use of the difficult aabb rhyme scheme. Because of the serious nature of the poem, it does not give the poem a lilting tone. Excellent imagery and juxtaposition of picture and poem.
Comment Written 25-May-2008
reply by the author on 25-May-2008
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I appreciate your comments so very much Alvin. You have expressed what I wanted to get across with this work, and that means a great deal. And I'm relieved that you didn't find it "lilting". I wasn't wanting that effect, but rather a subtle tone that expressed its message. Thank you once again for an encouraging and very thoughtful review. Again, I cannot express my true appreciation without sounding like a gushing blonde, so hopefully "bless your heart" will suffice! xoxoxo
Comment from WildWithWords
Amazing how a movie about war can leave some of us so aghast.... and others so inspired... and some both. To truly write a good poem on this subject I believe you have to be one of the last- mentioned of those. Aghast AND inspired.
I think you've done just that.
"He can't bring himself to look upwards even though he has won
this race"
Here is a solemn recognition by the soldier that he doesn't FEEL like a winner, merely a survivor - the mark of someone who understands war.
"There'll be some who'll call him "Hero" and others who won't give
a toss
But there'll be none who'll know what he did here, or saw the
Mound of the Lost"
Here lies the conscious decision on his part that "no one shall know".This is very common among war veterans. They refuse to glorify war or their part in it and usually refuse to talk about what they did and what they saw.... and if they do, never in terms of an adventure.... just in quiet solemn tones. Any man who speaks of his wartime experiences in terms of "adventures" probably never saw real war.
Like you I was once inspired to write a poem of war by a very realistic movie - "Saving Private Ryan". Unfortunately I can't show it here since it's 100 verses ( 800 lines ). LOL !
"We Were Soldiers" was a wonderful story of courage and determination and also about commitment. The commitment of Lieutenant General Harold ( Hal ) Moore to his soldiers and the families of his soldiers. He was renowned in both the Korean and Vietnam theatres of war not only as a great leader, but also for NEVER ONCE leaving a single one of his men behind, dead or alive.
A nice piece of work.
Bill.
reply by the author on 25-May-2008
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Amazing how a movie about war can leave some of us so aghast.... and others so inspired... and some both. To truly write a good poem on this subject I believe you have to be one of the last- mentioned of those. Aghast AND inspired.
I think you've done just that.
"He can't bring himself to look upwards even though he has won
this race"
Here is a solemn recognition by the soldier that he doesn't FEEL like a winner, merely a survivor - the mark of someone who understands war.
"There'll be some who'll call him "Hero" and others who won't give
a toss
But there'll be none who'll know what he did here, or saw the
Mound of the Lost"
Here lies the conscious decision on his part that "no one shall know".This is very common among war veterans. They refuse to glorify war or their part in it and usually refuse to talk about what they did and what they saw.... and if they do, never in terms of an adventure.... just in quiet solemn tones. Any man who speaks of his wartime experiences in terms of "adventures" probably never saw real war.
Like you I was once inspired to write a poem of war by a very realistic movie - "Saving Private Ryan". Unfortunately I can't show it here since it's 100 verses ( 800 lines ). LOL !
"We Were Soldiers" was a wonderful story of courage and determination and also about commitment. The commitment of Lieutenant General Harold ( Hal ) Moore to his soldiers and the families of his soldiers. He was renowned in both the Korean and Vietnam theatres of war not only as a great leader, but also for NEVER ONCE leaving a single one of his men behind, dead or alive.
A nice piece of work.
Bill.
Comment Written 25-May-2008
reply by the author on 25-May-2008
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Bill, it's great to get a review like this from someone who obviously understands war and its effects as well as you do. And you know, I thoroughly enjoyed Saving Private Ryan as well - I found this to be a gruesome deliverance of another poignant message of war: sometimes that one soldier is worth risking a number of lives to save. And I would love to see a "pared down" version of your poem on here - is there any way could do this without ruining its guts? Just a thought...
And I also appreciated that aspect of Hal Moore as well "I will leave no-one behind. Dead or alive, we're all coming home together".
I thank you very much for a heartfelt and studied review, and appreciate everything you've said here more than you can know. Bless your soul Bill xoxoxo
Comment from ravenshadowwinds
I have no idea how the soldiers can get back to life without going insane. But maybe life is what keeps them sane after the things they have seen.
reply by the author on 24-May-2008
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I have no idea how the soldiers can get back to life without going insane. But maybe life is what keeps them sane after the things they have seen.
Comment Written 24-May-2008
reply by the author on 24-May-2008
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You could be right. It just might be the "normalcy" and lack of change that helps mend those wounds. My hubby has settled back into civilian life brilliantly since his tour of Iraq, but still he suffers from the odd sleepless night and it's been 4 years...Thank you for an insightful review and comments raven! xoxxoo
Comment from mshugh
Battle on either side makes no sense - there uis no right or wrong except in may be two or three wars.
I have seen the sublimation of common human decency on all sides and have always wondered when the civilian populations who have never seen these monstrosities that we call 'just wars' and their aftermath - not just to the returning soldiers, but to the cicilian populastions who have increasingly savaged since World War II
Michael
reply by the author on 24-May-2008
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Battle on either side makes no sense - there uis no right or wrong except in may be two or three wars.
I have seen the sublimation of common human decency on all sides and have always wondered when the civilian populations who have never seen these monstrosities that we call 'just wars' and their aftermath - not just to the returning soldiers, but to the cicilian populastions who have increasingly savaged since World War II
Michael
Comment Written 24-May-2008
reply by the author on 24-May-2008
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So true Michael! And thanks so much for you great review and comments! xoxoxo
Comment from Oatmeal
ALPACALADY,
This was a nice poem although the subject matter makes me a little sad. The descriptions were very well written. The arrangement was done well. The flow was smooth.
There were no homophones, no spelling or grammatical errors.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
reply by the author on 24-May-2008
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ALPACALADY,
This was a nice poem although the subject matter makes me a little sad. The descriptions were very well written. The arrangement was done well. The flow was smooth.
There were no homophones, no spelling or grammatical errors.
I look forward to seeing you again.
Love you,
Oatmeal
Comment Written 24-May-2008
reply by the author on 24-May-2008
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It is a sad content, I agree. I'd said in my notes that this was largely inspired by the movie We Were Soldiers; and the last scenes in that movie are gut-wrenching if you ask me. The last part where Hal Moore steps off the field on to the chopper was so poignant in my view. It got me to wondering how these men cope when they return. Even though my hubby has coped brilliantly, I know he still has nightmares and other times when he can't sleep...Thank you for a wonderful review Oatmeal xoxoxo
Comment from Showboat
Hey Lady,
Good to see you again. I agree, it takes time for them to be able to readjust, to be ready to go back to civilian life. They should be offered six months rehab before they go back to their families, s/b part of the deal.
In many ways, I see similarities with cops. They deal, on a daily basis with the scumbags of society, they have to see what the savegary, describe what the victims died of, and then go out and be polite and understanding when 'little Johnny' starts making 'piggy' noises.
We ask a lot of folks,
Gayle
reply by the author on 24-May-2008
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Hey Lady,
Good to see you again. I agree, it takes time for them to be able to readjust, to be ready to go back to civilian life. They should be offered six months rehab before they go back to their families, s/b part of the deal.
In many ways, I see similarities with cops. They deal, on a daily basis with the scumbags of society, they have to see what the savegary, describe what the victims died of, and then go out and be polite and understanding when 'little Johnny' starts making 'piggy' noises.
We ask a lot of folks,
Gayle
Comment Written 24-May-2008
reply by the author on 24-May-2008
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Sounds like a great idea - but when considering the cost to the "public" who these people have been defending, I guess Governments get a little nervous...It's a downright shame that so many of those who serve our interests in these wars are almost ignored when they return.
Thank you so much for your great review and comments Gayle xoxoxo
Comment from mmichelle97219
There are so many who just think things will be just as they were before. Time and circumstances change all. If we move against that knowledge nothing good can happen. I thought this was well done.
Michelle
reply by the author on 23-May-2008
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There are so many who just think things will be just as they were before. Time and circumstances change all. If we move against that knowledge nothing good can happen. I thought this was well done.
Michelle
Comment Written 23-May-2008
reply by the author on 23-May-2008
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Thanks so much Michelle. I agree - nothing good comes from fighting against inevitable change. I'm glad you liked this one! xoxoxo
Comment from bluetwo
Good poem about war and its horrors. Most people don't realize it's the soldier who hates war the most. I knew a few who considered war glorious, but most of us only saw it as the way to bring freedom to an oppressed people.
reply by the author on 23-May-2008
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Good poem about war and its horrors. Most people don't realize it's the soldier who hates war the most. I knew a few who considered war glorious, but most of us only saw it as the way to bring freedom to an oppressed people.
Comment Written 23-May-2008
reply by the author on 23-May-2008
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Thanks vey much bluetwo! xoxoxo