Prisoner
Kidnapped by my own fears28 total reviews
Comment from Joan E.
Your allegorical story describes the experience you endured some years ago poetically, with your multitudes of metaphors and similes and your thought-provoking reflections. I am glad you were transformed to the "Icarus butterfly" and escaped the shroud of depression. I especially admired your "oubliette" metaphor and "nomad castle" simile. Thank you for the courage to share this episode with us and best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Your allegorical story describes the experience you endured some years ago poetically, with your multitudes of metaphors and similes and your thought-provoking reflections. I am glad you were transformed to the "Icarus butterfly" and escaped the shroud of depression. I especially admired your "oubliette" metaphor and "nomad castle" simile. Thank you for the courage to share this episode with us and best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Joan, thank you so much for your comment. yes the black shroud of depression could be suffocating isolating you from the rest of the world, hence the kidnapping metaphor...
The story is up for voting in the contest voting booth...Thanks again for stopping by..
Adina
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You just got my vote--good luck in the booth! -Joan
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thank you so much
Comment from CaptainKurt
Kind of reminds me of a something I experienced in the late 60's, but this is good, that one wasn't. Your writing makes me think, so you've been successful and I appreciate you posting this. Good job.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Kind of reminds me of a something I experienced in the late 60's, but this is good, that one wasn't. Your writing makes me think, so you've been successful and I appreciate you posting this. Good job.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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thank you CaptainKurt, like they say, if youth knew, if old could....Adina
Comment from L.lora
A nice introspective look
at how one comes to a place
of decission, of awareness,
of self knowing. Many make
the trip, all in their own
way however few will share
the journey. no nits or spags.
Lora
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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A nice introspective look
at how one comes to a place
of decission, of awareness,
of self knowing. Many make
the trip, all in their own
way however few will share
the journey. no nits or spags.
Lora
Comment Written 28-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Thank you so much Lora , the story is up for voting in the contest booth, thanks again, Adina
Comment from Sandollar
Was very beautiful and I must admit, I haven't a clue what this has to do with Kidnapping with a twist. Lovely, descriptive phrases. Good luck with the contest. Thank you for entering.
I found no errors.
Sandollar
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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Was very beautiful and I must admit, I haven't a clue what this has to do with Kidnapping with a twist. Lovely, descriptive phrases. Good luck with the contest. Thank you for entering.
I found no errors.
Sandollar
Comment Written 28-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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thank you so much for your comment. the black shroud of depression could be isolating you from the rest of the world, hence the kidnapping metaphor... Thanks again for stopping by.. Adina
Comment from wierdgrace
what a great way to approach this contest, your mind, and the strong images that you see in the character, and the energy, wow, I was glued in good luck in this contest, and I truly hope you get many votes.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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what a great way to approach this contest, your mind, and the strong images that you see in the character, and the energy, wow, I was glued in good luck in this contest, and I truly hope you get many votes.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2010
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thank you so much for your comment. the black shroud of personal woes could be suffocating . The story is up for voting in the contest voting booth...Thanks again for stopping by.. Adina
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I will check it out
Comment from Colin Douglas
What a fascinating walk through a trapped mind. Many deep concepts and philosophies here, well thought out. The thoughts on material items and their ultimate uselessness is brilliant.
"No identification will answer the question...who am I? Passport, driver's license and library card are fine silver chains connected to the world. Credit cards bind you to the bank, obligation and work. The driver's license links you to the car, road and state. And so on." Terrific.
Keep writing.
Colin
"If I could figure out where I am..." where I was
"A summary [prison"an] inexorable terminus..." editor error
"In a leap of faith, felt my confinement was intentional and happened for a reason." [I] felt, but, I decided, might be better.
"My soul for a toccata." This sounds awesome, but would the "toccata" be worth while without your soul? How about "My purse" or "My house" or something physical for the toccata?
"...like a lover wrapping his arms around my [waist"nibbling] my ear..." editor error
"...the cruel realities of ultimate [truth"a] door that said..."
"...an odd [creature"sometimes] one escapes..."
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What a fascinating walk through a trapped mind. Many deep concepts and philosophies here, well thought out. The thoughts on material items and their ultimate uselessness is brilliant.
"No identification will answer the question...who am I? Passport, driver's license and library card are fine silver chains connected to the world. Credit cards bind you to the bank, obligation and work. The driver's license links you to the car, road and state. And so on." Terrific.
Keep writing.
Colin
"If I could figure out where I am..." where I was
"A summary [prison"an] inexorable terminus..." editor error
"In a leap of faith, felt my confinement was intentional and happened for a reason." [I] felt, but, I decided, might be better.
"My soul for a toccata." This sounds awesome, but would the "toccata" be worth while without your soul? How about "My purse" or "My house" or something physical for the toccata?
"...like a lover wrapping his arms around my [waist"nibbling] my ear..." editor error
"...the cruel realities of ultimate [truth"a] door that said..."
"...an odd [creature"sometimes] one escapes..."
Comment Written 27-Apr-2010
Comment from patmedium
WOW! This is a stunning write... you deal so very graphically with the depths of darkness. You illustrate wonderfully well how painful life can be when one occupies a self-imposed prison. Congratulations. Pat.
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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WOW! This is a stunning write... you deal so very graphically with the depths of darkness. You illustrate wonderfully well how painful life can be when one occupies a self-imposed prison. Congratulations. Pat.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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Pat, thank you so much
Adina
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xxxx
Comment from BlueJamme
Hi Apelle,
A deep, thought provoking and soulful read here. The metaphorical prisoner within oneself was a clever twist on the contest, and I think your entry should do well.
this may be down to my ignorance here, but throughout the piece there were occasionally seemingly erroneous " - was this intentional?
BlueJamme
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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Hi Apelle,
A deep, thought provoking and soulful read here. The metaphorical prisoner within oneself was a clever twist on the contest, and I think your entry should do well.
this may be down to my ignorance here, but throughout the piece there were occasionally seemingly erroneous " - was this intentional?
BlueJamme
Comment Written 27-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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thank you so much BlueJamme, those are actually editing mistakes the editor program makes here on fanstory, i'll make sure i fix them, thanks for the heads up
Adina
Comment from Judian James
"Every event is a link between past and future, a smooth hook of yesterday's yarn into today's fabric stitched into tomorrow. Elegantly passing through this moment, the present instant hanging like a crystal, transparent drop of cold dew. My reflection was distorted in the strange shape of the liquid lens, acting as a filter of introspection." I could could quote endlessly throughout the entire piece. Your work is always so sharp and real.
Another brilliant write. "See page 101 of the 100 page manual" excellent as always. I'm pleased to assume your author's notes are now your past. (I bought your book!!)
My mother raised me on many memorable sayings. One of my favorites was "when you enter a space among others, pretend they can see your soul ... your light ... and you'll always strive to be a better person"
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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"Every event is a link between past and future, a smooth hook of yesterday's yarn into today's fabric stitched into tomorrow. Elegantly passing through this moment, the present instant hanging like a crystal, transparent drop of cold dew. My reflection was distorted in the strange shape of the liquid lens, acting as a filter of introspection." I could could quote endlessly throughout the entire piece. Your work is always so sharp and real.
Another brilliant write. "See page 101 of the 100 page manual" excellent as always. I'm pleased to assume your author's notes are now your past. (I bought your book!!)
My mother raised me on many memorable sayings. One of my favorites was "when you enter a space among others, pretend they can see your soul ... your light ... and you'll always strive to be a better person"
Comment Written 27-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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Aw, Jude, you are so wonderful for buying my book, now I know who that person who bought it is LOL
Adina
Comment from Begin Again
Apelle,
You have done a superb job entwining your own emotions and experiences into a different take on kidnapping. Quite intriguing and very compelling to read. Very well done.
Carol
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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Apelle,
You have done a superb job entwining your own emotions and experiences into a different take on kidnapping. Quite intriguing and very compelling to read. Very well done.
Carol
Comment Written 27-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 27-Apr-2010
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Your praise is music to my ears...thank you so much
Adina