Chronicles of the Wandering Man
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Black Moon Glinting"An extended story in poem form
89 total reviews
Comment from FredCollingwood
I could read more, now, Mike. It's a great traditional poem, which I favor and has a tale to which I was drawn. I look forward to the remainder.
reply by the author on 06-May-2010
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I could read more, now, Mike. It's a great traditional poem, which I favor and has a tale to which I was drawn. I look forward to the remainder.
Comment Written 04-May-2010
reply by the author on 06-May-2010
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Thanks, Fred, much appreciated. I'm getting on with the next bit now. It's been a lot of fun, penning such an extended poem!
Mike
Comment from prophetess
This is great! I love the rhyming and the descriptions of everything thats going on, the feelings come through clearly and the presentation is perfect for the piece. Thank you for sharing. Can't wait for the next one.
Prophetess
reply by the author on 06-May-2010
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This is great! I love the rhyming and the descriptions of everything thats going on, the feelings come through clearly and the presentation is perfect for the piece. Thank you for sharing. Can't wait for the next one.
Prophetess
Comment Written 04-May-2010
reply by the author on 06-May-2010
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Thank you, Prophetess; what a wonderful review :-). I'm hard at work on the next installment as we speak.
Mike
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You're welcome. I'll be looking forward to it.
Comment from Lupin355
You are a very talented poet. I'm afraid I have not read the other chapters but this alone is superb. I love your metaphors and your imaginative rhyme. It is a dark poem that keeps you intrigued. Good work.
reply by the author on 06-May-2010
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You are a very talented poet. I'm afraid I have not read the other chapters but this alone is superb. I love your metaphors and your imaginative rhyme. It is a dark poem that keeps you intrigued. Good work.
Comment Written 04-May-2010
reply by the author on 06-May-2010
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Thank you, Lupin. I'm glad my poem workled even without the preceeding installments. So glad you enjoyed the read :-)
Mike
Comment from Earthwriter
definetly has a poe like quality feel to this piece definetely enjoyed it my friend no spags and i thought the presentation of this piece was awesome
reply by the author on 04-May-2010
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definetly has a poe like quality feel to this piece definetely enjoyed it my friend no spags and i thought the presentation of this piece was awesome
Comment Written 04-May-2010
reply by the author on 04-May-2010
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Thank you, Earth. What a wonderful review :-)
Mike
Comment from Frank Fiction
So the woman warns him of the danger, and then she turns him in, and then she frees him, and then they are together. But how can he trust her? Thanks.
reply by the author on 04-May-2010
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So the woman warns him of the danger, and then she turns him in, and then she frees him, and then they are together. But how can he trust her? Thanks.
Comment Written 04-May-2010
reply by the author on 04-May-2010
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lol, thank you Frank. You're right, trusting may well be foolish, but set against a century of loneliness ... ?
Mike
Comment from Lydia LaMent
It has all the elements - love, deceit, murder, cannibalism (!), hope. Simply wonderful as always, I felt this chapter was stronger than the previous particularly for the wonderfully innovative use of rhythm, metaphor and simile:
'as though the Radiation's stage cast them as lunatics'
'their dreams rained over me'
'first taste of community' - this made my tummy churn!
I'm glad that their union isn't sappy but in keeping with the tone of the world around them and his spirit that has been revealed so far and I love the sprig of hope offered at the end. Well done, don't stop!!
reply by the author on 04-May-2010
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It has all the elements - love, deceit, murder, cannibalism (!), hope. Simply wonderful as always, I felt this chapter was stronger than the previous particularly for the wonderfully innovative use of rhythm, metaphor and simile:
'as though the Radiation's stage cast them as lunatics'
'their dreams rained over me'
'first taste of community' - this made my tummy churn!
I'm glad that their union isn't sappy but in keeping with the tone of the world around them and his spirit that has been revealed so far and I love the sprig of hope offered at the end. Well done, don't stop!!
Comment Written 04-May-2010
reply by the author on 04-May-2010
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Thank you, Lydia :-). It's been great having you along on this journey. I'm planning an interlude next, filling in some background, and then we'll see how the Wandering Man gets on with his newfound companion ...
Mike
Comment from Bryana
Very well written poem. I'm sorry
I haven't the other chapters.
I like this poem, it's somewhat
dark, but I think this adds to the
mystery of the poem,
Thank you for sharing. You are
a very talented poet.
reply by the author on 04-May-2010
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Very well written poem. I'm sorry
I haven't the other chapters.
I like this poem, it's somewhat
dark, but I think this adds to the
mystery of the poem,
Thank you for sharing. You are
a very talented poet.
Comment Written 04-May-2010
reply by the author on 04-May-2010
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Thank you, Bryana. Yes, dark indeed, but with one eye turned shyly towards the light :-)
Mike
Comment from Donovan
This is a great thread. I think the idea of doing it in poetical form is unique. The stories come through clear. I think your phrases such as below evoke great images. Well done.
We watched eternal starless night
as if to seek a way,
and then that moon winked down at us,
black glinting light at play.
reply by the author on 04-May-2010
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This is a great thread. I think the idea of doing it in poetical form is unique. The stories come through clear. I think your phrases such as below evoke great images. Well done.
We watched eternal starless night
as if to seek a way,
and then that moon winked down at us,
black glinting light at play.
Comment Written 03-May-2010
reply by the author on 04-May-2010
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Thank you, Donovan. I wasn't sure how this would be received, being something I've not seen much of on site. I've only had one person be negative about the form though, and that's pretty darned good odds :-). So glad you're enjoying the continuing saga.
Mike
Comment from Fish
My, Fleedle, but this poem is rather darkly
sinister and probably scarier than the
streets of London on a foggy night in
mid-July. Don't know though as it may have
changed in the 20 years since I vacationed
there.
Seriously though, quite an enjoyable poem!
Now I can crawl back into my bomb shelter
and wait out the apocalypse in peace. At
least until part 2...
:) fish
reply by the author on 04-May-2010
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My, Fleedle, but this poem is rather darkly
sinister and probably scarier than the
streets of London on a foggy night in
mid-July. Don't know though as it may have
changed in the 20 years since I vacationed
there.
Seriously though, quite an enjoyable poem!
Now I can crawl back into my bomb shelter
and wait out the apocalypse in peace. At
least until part 2...
:) fish
Comment Written 03-May-2010
reply by the author on 04-May-2010
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Lol! No, Fish, central London is a pretty horrible place, even if I do have to go there every day to work. Mind you, I think that about most big cities. Thank you for the wonderful review :-)
Mike
Comment from Aussie
Your poem brings to mind the movies made today about the end times of the earth; are we returning to being animals hunting for food and being hunted? No beauty, no sun, just barren earth with stumps of the trees that used to grace the green earth. A dark poem it was, well written by you, deep and depressing.
reply by the author on 04-May-2010
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Your poem brings to mind the movies made today about the end times of the earth; are we returning to being animals hunting for food and being hunted? No beauty, no sun, just barren earth with stumps of the trees that used to grace the green earth. A dark poem it was, well written by you, deep and depressing.
Comment Written 03-May-2010
reply by the author on 04-May-2010
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Thank you, Aussie. Depressing it is, but I hope to lead it towards something beautiful :-)
Mike
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We are waiting for the Son to rise.