Another Pretty Face
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Chapter 4 Part one"Can love survive small town gossip?
78 total reviews
Comment from Connie P
First, Barbara, I like the author's notes, no doubt you have gotten a few reviews from some who drop in and expect all the background in a chapter in the middle of a novel. Been there!
As for this chapter, I cringed when Joe wanted to be alone with Sara, I thought she might feel he just wanted to get in her pants and that his feelings weren't sincere, but that was quickly clarified. I'm still thinking on Joe, does he have a heart for the "underdog" so to speak, he's a high achiever, so does he intend to prove his ability to do whatever he wants, everyone be damned? Don't answer the questions, I'll find out as you post LOL.
Connie
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2010
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First, Barbara, I like the author's notes, no doubt you have gotten a few reviews from some who drop in and expect all the background in a chapter in the middle of a novel. Been there!
As for this chapter, I cringed when Joe wanted to be alone with Sara, I thought she might feel he just wanted to get in her pants and that his feelings weren't sincere, but that was quickly clarified. I'm still thinking on Joe, does he have a heart for the "underdog" so to speak, he's a high achiever, so does he intend to prove his ability to do whatever he wants, everyone be damned? Don't answer the questions, I'll find out as you post LOL.
Connie
Comment Written 28-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2010
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I am curious as to why the four stars. You didn't mention anything I need to improve. Please assist me with this. Thank your for your kind review.
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There is no mystery, I evidently hit the wrong key, so sorry, I'll correct it immediately.
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Not a problem. That happens to me often.
Comment from Perp Ihebom
This is a nice chapter. I enjoyed reading it more than the earlier ones i read. You omitted something in the sentence that contains
'my eyes are because.'' Very well done
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2010
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This is a nice chapter. I enjoyed reading it more than the earlier ones i read. You omitted something in the sentence that contains
'my eyes are because.'' Very well done
Comment Written 28-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2010
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I will recheck that sentence. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Cheryle Rene
Another fine piece! I believe the first part I read was the scene at the reunion dance, so I know the characters a little. This was another excellent piece of the picture. Should you desire to look at any part to work on, I thought that the dialogue where they talk about being in love (or getting close) was a little 'weak' maybe. To this reader it didn't feel real (I just don't know if real people talk that blatantly to each other), but this is just a personal opinion. I understand why you did it - need to get a lot of info out there - and I still loved the piece. Keep up the great work!
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2010
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Another fine piece! I believe the first part I read was the scene at the reunion dance, so I know the characters a little. This was another excellent piece of the picture. Should you desire to look at any part to work on, I thought that the dialogue where they talk about being in love (or getting close) was a little 'weak' maybe. To this reader it didn't feel real (I just don't know if real people talk that blatantly to each other), but this is just a personal opinion. I understand why you did it - need to get a lot of info out there - and I still loved the piece. Keep up the great work!
Comment Written 27-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2010
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I will check it out. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Helen Tan
Another easy to read chapter - I'm glad that Cassie is OK. I thought something would happen to her. Well, now it looks like next chapter is full "steam" ahead. I'm glad I've managed to catch up on the chapters.
Call home and make sure Cassie's all right."
Great "dad" material.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2010
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Another easy to read chapter - I'm glad that Cassie is OK. I thought something would happen to her. Well, now it looks like next chapter is full "steam" ahead. I'm glad I've managed to catch up on the chapters.
Call home and make sure Cassie's all right."
Great "dad" material.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and continued support. I always enjoy hearing from you.
Comment from BeKind
Well the ribbons speak for the story, and i don't think there is anything i can say that will top it. So I guess i will take the easy way out and say well done.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2010
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Well the ribbons speak for the story, and i don't think there is anything i can say that will top it. So I guess i will take the easy way out and say well done.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2010
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from BPL76
This is the first time i have read your stuff
I am impressed
The plot is good and interesting
The dialog is easy to read
I look forward to reading more
BPL
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2010
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This is the first time i have read your stuff
I am impressed
The plot is good and interesting
The dialog is easy to read
I look forward to reading more
BPL
Comment Written 27-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from mtngalofnc
Hi barbara,
Nice job! I really liked the way you have shown Joe being kind and considerate toward Sara and the tears from Sara shows what a sensitive person she is.
Dialogue is excellent and the pace allows the story to flow very well.
You have done an excellent job and it is a pleasure to have read and reviewed. Thank you for sharing.
Becky
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2010
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Hi barbara,
Nice job! I really liked the way you have shown Joe being kind and considerate toward Sara and the tears from Sara shows what a sensitive person she is.
Dialogue is excellent and the pace allows the story to flow very well.
You have done an excellent job and it is a pleasure to have read and reviewed. Thank you for sharing.
Becky
Comment Written 27-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Rain Chapman
LOL! That is awesome! Good for him, what a great way to thumb their noses at the town. My heart breaks for her, and I hope she can overcome her hurt and take a chance on him. Great chapter.
Rain
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2010
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LOL! That is awesome! Good for him, what a great way to thumb their noses at the town. My heart breaks for her, and I hope she can overcome her hurt and take a chance on him. Great chapter.
Rain
Comment Written 27-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and support.
Comment from AprilShower
Hi Barbara,
This is very romantic. I enjoyed reading this very much. I have one suggestion for these two paragraphs below.
"Thank you." She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes. "My tears are because I never expected a man, or anyone, for that matter, to be so honest." She put her hand on his arm. "I have more than a schoolgirl crush on you. I'm falling in love with you and that scares me."
(Put these two paragraphs together. She is speaking in both)
She lifted his wrist and glanced at his watch. "Tomorrow you'll leave. It's going to be hard to say goodbye. If I allow myself to get any closer to you, I'll only get hurt."
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2010
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Hi Barbara,
This is very romantic. I enjoyed reading this very much. I have one suggestion for these two paragraphs below.
"Thank you." She took a deep breath and wiped her eyes. "My tears are because I never expected a man, or anyone, for that matter, to be so honest." She put her hand on his arm. "I have more than a schoolgirl crush on you. I'm falling in love with you and that scares me."
(Put these two paragraphs together. She is speaking in both)
She lifted his wrist and glanced at his watch. "Tomorrow you'll leave. It's going to be hard to say goodbye. If I allow myself to get any closer to you, I'll only get hurt."
Comment Written 27-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2010
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Good idea. Thank you for the suggestion and the review.
Comment from Beauty28
Hi Barbara,
I am not surprised how things are starting to go now.
Sarah is starting to settle a little now she is in the comany of Joe. He seems to good , I hope he is not going to hurt her like the person who previously assaulted her. He left her pregnant and then on her own to bring up young cassie on her own.
Joe, does however, seem like a decent guy and only want what is best for Sarah and cassie.
But, now he he is being posted 500 miles away and she is worried that it is too far for them to still be able to date. But, I see he has a plan already worked out to cover that little problem. However, you have chosen not to divulge how he is going to get around this
He is appearing to be very considerate to Sarah's feelings. He offers her the cell phone to call home because he knows she is worried about leaving cassie. He wants her all to himself and he doesn't want her worry. I like the little bit you added too, when she asked to look at his I.D. and she made this comment here:
"I don't see anything warning women 'be careful, this man's a heartbreaker.'"
I thought this was a lovely touch as well as when he offered her his hankerchief, because she was and then she says she is crying because he is being nice to her.
It was a nice touch for him to get a limo for them to go to the reunion.
"Joe put his arms around Sara and shouted, "Residents of White Oak, PA. I, Joe Barnes, am holding Sara Riley in my arms, and now I am kissing her." His lips locked firmly with hers"
What a beautiful way to finish here. I can't wait for next one Barbara.
Great touch with the picture of the cannon. So apt with it,
See you in next chapter . Love Beauty Pam.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2010
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Hi Barbara,
I am not surprised how things are starting to go now.
Sarah is starting to settle a little now she is in the comany of Joe. He seems to good , I hope he is not going to hurt her like the person who previously assaulted her. He left her pregnant and then on her own to bring up young cassie on her own.
Joe, does however, seem like a decent guy and only want what is best for Sarah and cassie.
But, now he he is being posted 500 miles away and she is worried that it is too far for them to still be able to date. But, I see he has a plan already worked out to cover that little problem. However, you have chosen not to divulge how he is going to get around this
He is appearing to be very considerate to Sarah's feelings. He offers her the cell phone to call home because he knows she is worried about leaving cassie. He wants her all to himself and he doesn't want her worry. I like the little bit you added too, when she asked to look at his I.D. and she made this comment here:
"I don't see anything warning women 'be careful, this man's a heartbreaker.'"
I thought this was a lovely touch as well as when he offered her his hankerchief, because she was and then she says she is crying because he is being nice to her.
It was a nice touch for him to get a limo for them to go to the reunion.
"Joe put his arms around Sara and shouted, "Residents of White Oak, PA. I, Joe Barnes, am holding Sara Riley in my arms, and now I am kissing her." His lips locked firmly with hers"
What a beautiful way to finish here. I can't wait for next one Barbara.
Great touch with the picture of the cannon. So apt with it,
See you in next chapter . Love Beauty Pam.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2010
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and words. I appreciate them.
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My pleasure barbara. I wish I could write a story like you can. Maybe one day. Love Pam.