Another Pretty Face
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "Chapter 10; part two"Can love survive small town gossip?
71 total reviews
Comment from pickthorn
I like the closeness of Joe and Sara in this chapter. I think Joe is handling the situation just right. I enjoyed this chapter and looking forward to the next one. Thanks for keeping us updated on your progress. I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Everything is going to be fine.
pickthorn
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2010
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I like the closeness of Joe and Sara in this chapter. I think Joe is handling the situation just right. I enjoyed this chapter and looking forward to the next one. Thanks for keeping us updated on your progress. I am keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Everything is going to be fine.
pickthorn
Comment Written 15-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from MS Writer
When I first joined FanStory you rated my story. Since then I have followed your progress. I wish you well in your chemo treatments. Your stories are always interesting and the reader wants to read more. You encouraged me to write and I hope I can be of some encouragement to continue writing as much as before. Great writing.
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2010
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When I first joined FanStory you rated my story. Since then I have followed your progress. I wish you well in your chemo treatments. Your stories are always interesting and the reader wants to read more. You encouraged me to write and I hope I can be of some encouragement to continue writing as much as before. Great writing.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and encouraging words.
Comment from animatqua
This fits well within your style. I would, however, like to see a bit more between Sara's deliberation and her decision.
You generally do a good job of leading into things and making good transitions from one action to another. This transition, however, seemed too abrupt.
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2010
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This fits well within your style. I would, however, like to see a bit more between Sara's deliberation and her decision.
You generally do a good job of leading into things and making good transitions from one action to another. This transition, however, seemed too abrupt.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2010
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I will take a second look at it. I wanted to let you know that in today's mail I received the knitted hats. Thank you so much. They are greately needed and I will make sure any unused ones are donated so other's will benefit from them. Both cancer clinics I use accept domations.
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I'm so glad you got the hats. I hope they serve you well!
Comment from jadapenn
Hi Barbara, the story is moving along. This was good interaction between Joe and Sara. Poor George nearly got into hot water.lol. How old is Joe?
Well done. luv jada
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2010
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Hi Barbara, the story is moving along. This was good interaction between Joe and Sara. Poor George nearly got into hot water.lol. How old is Joe?
Well done. luv jada
Comment Written 15-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and support.
Comment from rama devi
Hi dear sister. Hope your starting to recover your energy again after the second chemo. The fatigue will pass eventually....hang in there...sending prayers.
This is a very good chapter with smooth flow, authentic sounding dialog and not a single spag noticed (on first read). God character development revealing her emotional landscape about being 'angry about being in love'. An ironic state!
It does feel more of a romance novel than a mystery--but combining both is a good ploy!
love, rd
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2010
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Hi dear sister. Hope your starting to recover your energy again after the second chemo. The fatigue will pass eventually....hang in there...sending prayers.
This is a very good chapter with smooth flow, authentic sounding dialog and not a single spag noticed (on first read). God character development revealing her emotional landscape about being 'angry about being in love'. An ironic state!
It does feel more of a romance novel than a mystery--but combining both is a good ploy!
love, rd
Comment Written 15-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2010
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Thank you for your encouraging thoughts. I appreciate your review.
Comment from Ailo
I am not sure what is going on between Joe and George, but you really create great tension between them....I really love this line:
Joe watched George exit the front door. Yea, escape while you can. He turned toward Sara. "This is your area. I don't have a clue what would look good in your bedroom or any bedroom, for that matter."
Excellent description in tone.
You do an amazing job of showing through dialogue and the use of descriptors and development of character. I have not read the entire novel, but this snippet of a chapter has an amazing emotional arc and I can get the idea that Sara lost her daughter. You have captured Sara's emotional grief in the way you portray her tone and movement.
Very nice work!
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2010
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I am not sure what is going on between Joe and George, but you really create great tension between them....I really love this line:
Joe watched George exit the front door. Yea, escape while you can. He turned toward Sara. "This is your area. I don't have a clue what would look good in your bedroom or any bedroom, for that matter."
Excellent description in tone.
You do an amazing job of showing through dialogue and the use of descriptors and development of character. I have not read the entire novel, but this snippet of a chapter has an amazing emotional arc and I can get the idea that Sara lost her daughter. You have captured Sara's emotional grief in the way you portray her tone and movement.
Very nice work!
Comment Written 15-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from marcellawachtel
I enjoy how this plot progresses. The relationship between Joe and Sarah is taking on a slightly different dimension.He seems more insecure than ever. You have strengthened Sarah and it becomes her. Excellent chapter.
Your hair is going to grow back thicker and shinier than it was before.Resting is your job. Don't resent having to do it. This is one of the ways you are curing yourself.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2010
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I enjoy how this plot progresses. The relationship between Joe and Sarah is taking on a slightly different dimension.He seems more insecure than ever. You have strengthened Sarah and it becomes her. Excellent chapter.
Your hair is going to grow back thicker and shinier than it was before.Resting is your job. Don't resent having to do it. This is one of the ways you are curing yourself.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. I appreciate your kind words.
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Barbara,
There is something so sweet about this chapter. I like that Sara invited Joe into her bed to hold her. She needs that more than anything right now. I can't wait to see if he finds Cassie...in my heart I think he will. A romantic and well written chapter. I know you are tired and that is normal. Go out and buy a beautiful wig and it will raise your spirits. I am glad you are doing well...keep it up....blessings, chey
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2010
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Hi Barbara,
There is something so sweet about this chapter. I like that Sara invited Joe into her bed to hold her. She needs that more than anything right now. I can't wait to see if he finds Cassie...in my heart I think he will. A romantic and well written chapter. I know you are tired and that is normal. Go out and buy a beautiful wig and it will raise your spirits. I am glad you are doing well...keep it up....blessings, chey
Comment Written 15-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Readywriter52
Sara has finally told Joe that she loves him. It might have caused him a little pain, but now he knows where he stands with her. She know he will try his best to bring Cassie home alive.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2010
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Sara has finally told Joe that she loves him. It might have caused him a little pain, but now he knows where he stands with her. She know he will try his best to bring Cassie home alive.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from cooljules
This chapter flowed great and the conversations were natural. Sara's ambivalent thoughts were interesting and her feelings about her missing daughter realistic.
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2010
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This chapter flowed great and the conversations were natural. Sara's ambivalent thoughts were interesting and her feelings about her missing daughter realistic.
Comment Written 15-Nov-2010
reply by the author on 16-Nov-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.