The Warning
A senryu mystery24 total reviews
Comment from sizemore0409
Well, this was a rather interesting little poem, in a haiku format. the imagery seems to depict a tragic automobile accident, perhaps just being discovered, partially hidden under a bank of snow. Did I get it right? :-) Andy
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2011
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Well, this was a rather interesting little poem, in a haiku format. the imagery seems to depict a tragic automobile accident, perhaps just being discovered, partially hidden under a bank of snow. Did I get it right? :-) Andy
Comment Written 02-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2011
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Actually, I have a follow-up senryu that deepends the mystery that I'll be posting. I appreciate you taking time to read and review. Bev
Comment from adewpearl
Your poem is in good 5/7/5 form and I really like the use alliterative B words as you create this mysterious scene.
You certainly have me intrigued as to whose blood has dyed the white snow red and what that single white-gloved hand is.
Brooke
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2011
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Your poem is in good 5/7/5 form and I really like the use alliterative B words as you create this mysterious scene.
You certainly have me intrigued as to whose blood has dyed the white snow red and what that single white-gloved hand is.
Brooke
Comment Written 02-Jan-2011
reply by the author on 02-Jan-2011
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I really appreciate your kind review. I'm going to be posting a follow-up senryu with more clues. I'll be taking a class in February in the PROPER use of this form and will probably catch heck for messing around a bit, but I'm having a little fun with this. I always find your reviews to be wonderful tutorials on how to be a better writer. Thanks. Bev
Comment from Lynar
I enjoyed the complimentary art word that did give your senryu something special. It's like a picture with thousands words. A winter scene in metaphor ( icy bridge covered with snow, but bright red?) so much described in so few words. A warning for drivers or walkers that cross it. I would recommend to my friends, The Warning. No negative comments. Excellent mystery angle.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2010
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I enjoyed the complimentary art word that did give your senryu something special. It's like a picture with thousands words. A winter scene in metaphor ( icy bridge covered with snow, but bright red?) so much described in so few words. A warning for drivers or walkers that cross it. I would recommend to my friends, The Warning. No negative comments. Excellent mystery angle.
Comment Written 30-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2010
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What a wonderful review Lynar. Thank you so much for reading and
and taking time to write. Glad you liked the mystery angle too. Happy writing and much success in the New Year! Bev
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Thank you for the member cent pump.
It was my review pleasure, Writingfundimension
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You are welcome.
Comment from dportwood
Writingfundimension,
The imagery here is akin to watching NCIS or Law and Order - quite graphic. What did happen on the bridge? Don't tell me, I shouldn't have asked. Hehe.
Duane
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2010
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Writingfundimension,
The imagery here is akin to watching NCIS or Law and Order - quite graphic. What did happen on the bridge? Don't tell me, I shouldn't have asked. Hehe.
Duane
Comment Written 30-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2010
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I am in deep despair that L&O has been cancelled. What will I do without Jack?? Hey, thanks so much Duane for reading and reviewing the Senryu and you great comments. I'm glad you liked it. Bev
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
This is an interesting mystery in senryu form. From the bright red snow I surmise blood was shed on the bridge. Best regards, Jeanie Mercer
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2010
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This is an interesting mystery in senryu form. From the bright red snow I surmise blood was shed on the bridge. Best regards, Jeanie Mercer
Comment Written 30-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2010
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Thank you Jeanie for taking time to review the Senryu. Hopefully I'm not being sacrilegious to this awesome art form. Happy writings in the New Year and lots of success!
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written with good form and good flow, a mystery indeed, so i really enjoyed reading this, the picture is great and now i want to know the answer...
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2010
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this is very well written with good form and good flow, a mystery indeed, so i really enjoyed reading this, the picture is great and now i want to know the answer...
Comment Written 27-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2010
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Thanks sweetwoodjax for your wonderful review and encouragement. I'm allowing everyone to come up with their own solutions. Happy New Year! Bev
Comment from Bellringer
Hard to tell what happened on the bridge, but your poem allows the imagination to fly. The first line appears to be the warning to which the tile alludes. Could be a car accident, a suicide, etc. Blessings, Hector
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2010
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Hard to tell what happened on the bridge, but your poem allows the imagination to fly. The first line appears to be the warning to which the tile alludes. Could be a car accident, a suicide, etc. Blessings, Hector
Comment Written 27-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2010
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Thanks for your kind review Hector. I always appreciate hearing from you! Happy New Year...Bev
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You're welcome, Bev. Happy New year of writing to you. Blessings always, Hector
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The same to you Hector!
Comment from JW
Interesting. While the picture is quite fitting for the poem. My first thought actually was, has WritingFundDimension been looking outside my window? Everything is covered in ice and snow.
Great poem!
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2010
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Interesting. While the picture is quite fitting for the poem. My first thought actually was, has WritingFundDimension been looking outside my window? Everything is covered in ice and snow.
Great poem!
Comment Written 27-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2010
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Thanks Jonathon. It seems we are!! I really appreciate you taking time to stop by for your great review. Happy New Year. Bev
Comment from sweetsilversong
A mystery senyru, Bev, how interesting.
Cant wait for the sequel, hope the road gritters got there first.
A great effort.
Best wishes.
SSS
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2010
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A mystery senyru, Bev, how interesting.
Cant wait for the sequel, hope the road gritters got there first.
A great effort.
Best wishes.
SSS
Comment Written 27-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2010
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Thanks so much sweetsilversong. I much appreciate your encouraging review and good wishes. Bev
Comment from Mary Ann MCPhedran
A good write with good flow and imagery. I enjoyed reading your script, and your art work blended beautifully. Thanks for sharing with me.
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2010
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A good write with good flow and imagery. I enjoyed reading your script, and your art work blended beautifully. Thanks for sharing with me.
Comment Written 26-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 27-Dec-2010
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Thank you so very much Cookson2 for your review and stars. Wow, you honor me. Bev