Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "Part Two Chapter One"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
89 total reviews
Comment from marcii
Having had an abusive marriage I can understand what your character feels etc...
Some times we cant help who we fall in love with. We know it isn't write to like a married person too much.
Marcii
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2011
  |
Having had an abusive marriage I can understand what your character feels etc...
Some times we cant help who we fall in love with. We know it isn't write to like a married person too much.
Marcii
Comment Written 17-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from KathyH
Very good story, made me want to read the next chapter. Your character development is well done and very believable. Good flow to this as well.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2011
|
Very good story, made me want to read the next chapter. Your character development is well done and very believable. Good flow to this as well.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Helen Tan
My heart thuds for Anna - if she stays in the marriage, there's trouble. If she accepts Troy's help, she's also in trouble, maybe of a more pleasant kind, though. The story is moving.
Hum, he rides a Harley
Should this read as - Hmm instead of "Hum"?
Is his story real or is he lying to earn my trust.
Question mark.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2011
|
My heart thuds for Anna - if she stays in the marriage, there's trouble. If she accepts Troy's help, she's also in trouble, maybe of a more pleasant kind, though. The story is moving.
Hum, he rides a Harley
Should this read as - Hmm instead of "Hum"?
Is his story real or is he lying to earn my trust.
Question mark.
Comment Written 17-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2011
-
I can't believe I made such stupid mistakes. I knew each one of those. I guess my chemo has effected my brain too. Thank you for catching them for me.
Comment from patmedium
Right, I am back on board the good ship Barbara. LOL. I read the first, but as I'm short of time, didn't write a review. I eagerly await developments, dear. Looks promising. xxx
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2011
|
Right, I am back on board the good ship Barbara. LOL. I read the first, but as I'm short of time, didn't write a review. I eagerly await developments, dear. Looks promising. xxx
Comment Written 17-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review. I am happy to have you on board. I hope you don't jump off.
-
What's wrong with jumping off when we reach Hawaii? Eh? xxx
-
Okay, I guess you can, but only if I can go to Hawaii with me.
-
LOL. xxxxxx
Comment from taravan
Again I am intrigued to see what happens next. You have good character development and your flow is good. After reading both parts 1 and 2 I noticed again there is a problem with the husbands character. In part 1 he brings your son to you and says "...your damn kid" in part 2 you states how he wants more kids. This seems at odds with part one.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2011
 |
Again I am intrigued to see what happens next. You have good character development and your flow is good. After reading both parts 1 and 2 I noticed again there is a problem with the husbands character. In part 1 he brings your son to you and says "...your damn kid" in part 2 you states how he wants more kids. This seems at odds with part one.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2011
-
It is very common for abusers. They want the knowledge that they can reproduce, status symbol, but they don't want any of the responsiblity. It's also a control issue, the bare foot and pregnant thing. I happened to actually have personal knowledge of this type of man, and the women I who have been abused and wrote reviews said I was right on target.
Comment from Victorian Lady
This is a great chapter and I enjoyed reading about Troy and his kind offer of help. I thought he was extremely blunt in addressing Anna about her problem. I expected Anna to be more defensive, but if she truly wants help to get out of her situation, I can see she would trust a stranger/aquaintance with her secrets.
I might suggest a question mark on the characters thoughts, such as: I wonder if Troy's taking a lunch break today? I also felt that Troy's childhood story was told a bit abruptly. Maybe there would be more pauses, or a few places where Anna reacts or comments.
Overall, though, good writing and a good storyline.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2011
|
This is a great chapter and I enjoyed reading about Troy and his kind offer of help. I thought he was extremely blunt in addressing Anna about her problem. I expected Anna to be more defensive, but if she truly wants help to get out of her situation, I can see she would trust a stranger/aquaintance with her secrets.
I might suggest a question mark on the characters thoughts, such as: I wonder if Troy's taking a lunch break today? I also felt that Troy's childhood story was told a bit abruptly. Maybe there would be more pauses, or a few places where Anna reacts or comments.
Overall, though, good writing and a good storyline.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2011
-
To be honest I wondered the same thing as I wrote Troy's story. I didn't want to draw it out too long and lose my audience though. Thank you for your kind review.
-
you are welcome, I hope it was helpful.
Comment from Deorre Leonard
"Until tomorrow" he said with a smile. I love it. Its a great read. I love the characters.I feel for women in Anna's situation. Can't wait to see what happens next.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2011
|
"Until tomorrow" he said with a smile. I love it. Its a great read. I love the characters.I feel for women in Anna's situation. Can't wait to see what happens next.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2011
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Charlene0513
To barbara.wilkey,
A very tragic and disheartening story over an abusive marriage and a woman that tries to find a way to put an end to the misery and hurt she has experienced for a long time.
Everyone can certainly identify with this problem.
Charlene
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2011
|
To barbara.wilkey,
A very tragic and disheartening story over an abusive marriage and a woman that tries to find a way to put an end to the misery and hurt she has experienced for a long time.
Everyone can certainly identify with this problem.
Charlene
Comment Written 16-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from mountainwriter49
HI Barbara,
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this chapter in your new book.
You've done a fine job of developing the characters as well as
the emerging relationship between the two of them. You've also
shed some light into the abusive relationship.
Very well done. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
-Ray
ps
I hope your energy levels are picking up and you're doing well.
rr
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2011
|
HI Barbara,
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this chapter in your new book.
You've done a fine job of developing the characters as well as
the emerging relationship between the two of them. You've also
shed some light into the abusive relationship.
Very well done. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
-Ray
ps
I hope your energy levels are picking up and you're doing well.
rr
Comment Written 16-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review. As for my engery level, I had my last dose of phase two a week ago today, since I have no chemo today my dear husband expected me to be totaly back to normal. NOPE, it didn't happen.
Comment from gramalot8
Barbara, hmmm. hope she doesn't get found out about. It's hard to hide things from a man who deliberately looks for things. Good job, good character interaction as we get to know these two people.
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2011
|
Barbara, hmmm. hope she doesn't get found out about. It's hard to hide things from a man who deliberately looks for things. Good job, good character interaction as we get to know these two people.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2011
reply by the author on 16-Mar-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review. We'll have to wait and see if Anna can hide anything from Bobby.