Second Chance
The legend of the Seal People. (Selchie)19 total reviews
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi K,
I just love this story which you wrote with great atyle. Your author's notes are interesting an made your characters come alive even more for me. The part about Englad dying was so sad but your descriptions are excellent. You have out done yourself this time! Blessings, chey
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2012
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Hi K,
I just love this story which you wrote with great atyle. Your author's notes are interesting an made your characters come alive even more for me. The part about Englad dying was so sad but your descriptions are excellent. You have out done yourself this time! Blessings, chey
Comment Written 23-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2012
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Howdy Mrs. Wyoming! Thanks so much for reading - took me ages to write it. Glad you liked it; she died in her human form but came back to her seal family, alive and well! Love, Kace.
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U R so welcome!
Comment from ScarletClearwater
This is a wonderful write. You have done so well with the beautiful descriptions. Loved it! Great work with your dialogue too. Made the story flow well.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2012
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This is a wonderful write. You have done so well with the beautiful descriptions. Loved it! Great work with your dialogue too. Made the story flow well.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2012
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Thank you so much Scarlet, so glad you enjoyed the story. Blessings, Kace.
Comment from LAFraser
I have enjoyed reading this beautifully written story of the Selchie. I've always loved hearing the stories of the Selchie. I will have to read this to my daughter and granddaughter. All the women in my family have always had the red, auburn, or ginger hair and blue eyes. My daughter was the first in 9 generations to have emerald green eyes, both myself and her father had blue eyes. We always knew we would one day have a daughter/granddaughter with the dark hair and we would call her, Selchie. My granddaughter, Emileigh Selchie Ann Frazier will be a year old on the 28th of this month. Her eyes are dark with an emerald green ring, and she already swims like a seal. :) Thank you for posting this lovely story.
Blessings
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2012
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I have enjoyed reading this beautifully written story of the Selchie. I've always loved hearing the stories of the Selchie. I will have to read this to my daughter and granddaughter. All the women in my family have always had the red, auburn, or ginger hair and blue eyes. My daughter was the first in 9 generations to have emerald green eyes, both myself and her father had blue eyes. We always knew we would one day have a daughter/granddaughter with the dark hair and we would call her, Selchie. My granddaughter, Emileigh Selchie Ann Frazier will be a year old on the 28th of this month. Her eyes are dark with an emerald green ring, and she already swims like a seal. :) Thank you for posting this lovely story.
Blessings
Comment Written 23-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2012
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Eilish, Thanks so much for your kind review and information on your family, most interesting. Blessings, Kace.
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You're welcome, Kace. I read this story to them this morning and they enjoyed it as much as I did. :D
I wish you a wonderful week. :D
~Lisa
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Are you in Britain Lisa?
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No, Ma'am. I live in Texas. :D I'm an American born Celt. I dream of visiting Australia, Scotland and Ireland, one day.
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A Celt from generations past; you must visit your ancestors birthplace and feel the magic! Blessings, Kace.
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Yes, Ma'am. I look forward to the journey. Blessings to you, as well. :-) ~Lisa
Comment from adewpearl
graves yawning to accept - that is one powerful image - a compelling first paragraph
tears from Declan's eyes; quickly - I would just use a comma there
Hugging his nine-year old son to himself, he - add comma
pregnant with rain, he lifted - I would use a period there
far away from here," Declan - use a period there
Declan were a fisherman - was
Seawater ran strongly in his veins, and - add comma
Wait here, boy - add comma for direct address
What can I do for ye, son - add comma for direct address
you go take a look, if you like - use a period there
At this point I'm going to stop editing for SPAG and just enjoy the rest of the story :-)
What a wonderfully mythic quality this story has, Kay - quite enchanting as well as having its moments of great sorrow - in good balance. Seals that turn humans and mate with humans, I like that.
Your characters are likable and the dialogue sounds natural.
You make them all seem quite believable, too :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2012
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graves yawning to accept - that is one powerful image - a compelling first paragraph
tears from Declan's eyes; quickly - I would just use a comma there
Hugging his nine-year old son to himself, he - add comma
pregnant with rain, he lifted - I would use a period there
far away from here," Declan - use a period there
Declan were a fisherman - was
Seawater ran strongly in his veins, and - add comma
Wait here, boy - add comma for direct address
What can I do for ye, son - add comma for direct address
you go take a look, if you like - use a period there
At this point I'm going to stop editing for SPAG and just enjoy the rest of the story :-)
What a wonderfully mythic quality this story has, Kay - quite enchanting as well as having its moments of great sorrow - in good balance. Seals that turn humans and mate with humans, I like that.
Your characters are likable and the dialogue sounds natural.
You make them all seem quite believable, too :-) Brooke
Comment Written 23-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2012
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Hello my babbling Brooke, thanks so much for taking time to edit. So pleased you liked the story, it just flowed for me. I will get back to writing poetry because stories take me weeks to write, arthritis stops me from typing. Hope all is well Grandma! Love to you and yours. K.
Comment from Chris Tee
Wow! Kay this supernatural fantasy story titled "Second Chance" is indeed an absolutely great read. You told a excellent story here and I was captivated throughout this splendid story.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2012
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Wow! Kay this supernatural fantasy story titled "Second Chance" is indeed an absolutely great read. You told a excellent story here and I was captivated throughout this splendid story.
Comment Written 23-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2012
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Coming from you Chris, that is high praise indeed. This was my first attempt at fiction - took ages to write. Thanks so much for reading. Blessings 2U2. Kace.
Comment from Winslow
Dear Aussie,
Quite an enthralling story. It ended differently than I imagined it would. For the sea is mysterious indeed, where our lives once were so entwined.
You could improve this by eliminating most ly words (they add nothing) and eliminating passive writing. With careful editing this could be a six.
For example you wrote:
"Oh, I was just a lad when I saw it happen. A group of seals changed into human form and they chanted in a circle not far from here. All buck naked they were. They wore silver cloaks over their bodies, sealskin it was. I hid amongst the rocks and listened, one woman sung a song - not of this world. I was so scared that I slunk off and told me mother - she didn't believe me. That was seventy years ago, I wish I could see them once more before I cast me net for the last time - he whistled through his two remaining teeth.
"Duffy, how would you like to come for a run in the Mary Anne?" Declan smiled.
"Do ye mean it, laddie?" Duffy's face lit up like a Christmas Tree.
"Aye, that I do, methinks that you need to go to sea one more time."
suggested edit for this section:
"Oh, I was just a lad when I saw it happen. A group of seals changed into human form, and they chanted in a circle not far from here. All buck naked they were. They wore silver cloaks over their bodies, sealskin it was. I hid amongst the rocks and listened. One woman sung a song not of this world. It scared so that I slunk off and told me mother. She didn't believe me. That happened seventy years ago. I wish I could see them once more before I cast me net for the last time. He whistled this through his two remaining teeth.
Declan smiled."Duffy, how would you like to come for a run in the Mary Anne?"
Duffy's face lit up like a Christmas Tree. "Do ye mean it, laddie?"
"Aye, that I do, methinks that you need to go to sea one more time."
I hope this helps.
Regards,
Winslow
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2012
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Dear Aussie,
Quite an enthralling story. It ended differently than I imagined it would. For the sea is mysterious indeed, where our lives once were so entwined.
You could improve this by eliminating most ly words (they add nothing) and eliminating passive writing. With careful editing this could be a six.
For example you wrote:
"Oh, I was just a lad when I saw it happen. A group of seals changed into human form and they chanted in a circle not far from here. All buck naked they were. They wore silver cloaks over their bodies, sealskin it was. I hid amongst the rocks and listened, one woman sung a song - not of this world. I was so scared that I slunk off and told me mother - she didn't believe me. That was seventy years ago, I wish I could see them once more before I cast me net for the last time - he whistled through his two remaining teeth.
"Duffy, how would you like to come for a run in the Mary Anne?" Declan smiled.
"Do ye mean it, laddie?" Duffy's face lit up like a Christmas Tree.
"Aye, that I do, methinks that you need to go to sea one more time."
suggested edit for this section:
"Oh, I was just a lad when I saw it happen. A group of seals changed into human form, and they chanted in a circle not far from here. All buck naked they were. They wore silver cloaks over their bodies, sealskin it was. I hid amongst the rocks and listened. One woman sung a song not of this world. It scared so that I slunk off and told me mother. She didn't believe me. That happened seventy years ago. I wish I could see them once more before I cast me net for the last time. He whistled this through his two remaining teeth.
Declan smiled."Duffy, how would you like to come for a run in the Mary Anne?"
Duffy's face lit up like a Christmas Tree. "Do ye mean it, laddie?"
"Aye, that I do, methinks that you need to go to sea one more time."
I hope this helps.
Regards,
Winslow
Comment Written 22-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2012
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Winslow, Thanks so much for taking the time to edit; glad you liked the story. Blessings, Kay.
Comment from Misrael
Avery interesting story but very sad as well. Even though we know that sort of thing does not happen it does make a good story anyway. Good read and good job. Keep on writing.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2012
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Avery interesting story but very sad as well. Even though we know that sort of thing does not happen it does make a good story anyway. Good read and good job. Keep on writing.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2012
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Thanks so much for reading, glad you liked the story. Blessings, K.
Comment from Cindy Warren
That's sad, and kind of sweet too. I liked the part where he realized he couldn't keep Englad. Does she remain a seal now and leave Declan and the baby with Jamie?
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2012
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That's sad, and kind of sweet too. I liked the part where he realized he couldn't keep Englad. Does she remain a seal now and leave Declan and the baby with Jamie?
Comment Written 22-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2012
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Thanks for reading - yes, she does remain a seal. Blessings, K.
Comment from Heidixoxo
Hello Aussie,
I have to admit that I truly enjoyed your entire story from beginning to end. You captured my attention right from the start and held it tightly till the end. I've always loved seals and dolphins myself and that made this even better....for me anyways!! Best of luck and thank you for sharing with us all......xoxo
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2012
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Hello Aussie,
I have to admit that I truly enjoyed your entire story from beginning to end. You captured my attention right from the start and held it tightly till the end. I've always loved seals and dolphins myself and that made this even better....for me anyways!! Best of luck and thank you for sharing with us all......xoxo
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2012
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2012
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Thank you so much Heidixoxo, glad you liked the story. Blessings, K.