The Phoenix and the Necromancer
is all life a tragedy of sorts?29 total reviews
Comment from guinea
I did enjoy your write. The words were convincing in the story poem. The words flowed nicely. Shows deep thinking. The rhyming is good.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2012
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I did enjoy your write. The words were convincing in the story poem. The words flowed nicely. Shows deep thinking. The rhyming is good.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2012
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Thanks very much, Guinea - I'm glad you enjoyed the read :-).
Mike
Comment from adewpearl
Love the title!
solid alternate-line rhyming in your quatrains
effective use of personification
love the consonance in life and fate
and the alliteration in raven rose and all kinds of use of sound in your poem
a dark and dramatic story - certainly a contender in the contest! all that a story poem should be. Brooke
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2012
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Love the title!
solid alternate-line rhyming in your quatrains
effective use of personification
love the consonance in life and fate
and the alliteration in raven rose and all kinds of use of sound in your poem
a dark and dramatic story - certainly a contender in the contest! all that a story poem should be. Brooke
Comment Written 26-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2012
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Thanks so much for the extra star, Brooke - it means a lot. I wasn;t even sure I was going to enter, but then this came pouring out :-).
Mike
Comment from Sasha
Darn...I cannot give you a well deserved 6 for this awesome and marvelously written Story in a Poem. And what a wonderful story too. Seems no one really won the battle in this one. Great work, excellent rhyme and this flowed so well as I read it. I enjoyed this one immensely and wish you all the best in the contest too.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2012
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Darn...I cannot give you a well deserved 6 for this awesome and marvelously written Story in a Poem. And what a wonderful story too. Seems no one really won the battle in this one. Great work, excellent rhyme and this flowed so well as I read it. I enjoyed this one immensely and wish you all the best in the contest too.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2012
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Thanks so much, my friend :-). I really had no idea what I was going to write until I started - sometimes that's the best way!
Mike
Comment from xxjsfuncxxxity
A long and eloquent piece of poetry. Well done. Thanks for sharing it here and thanks for the 10 points and 92 member cents (and maybe more) too.
cheers
js
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2012
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A long and eloquent piece of poetry. Well done. Thanks for sharing it here and thanks for the 10 points and 92 member cents (and maybe more) too.
cheers
js
Comment Written 26-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2012
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Thank you, JS - I'm so glad you enjoyed the read :-).
Mike
Comment from Judian James
YES!! I'm amazed I have a sixer for you again so soon, Mike
I thought I had to wait at least another two weeks. This is SUPERB. A marvelous, well thought out story told in perfect meter and rhyme. Oh, and did I mention SMART! I love the moral of the tale! Fabulous, my friend, fabulous!!
You are so gifted. BRAVO!!!
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2012
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YES!! I'm amazed I have a sixer for you again so soon, Mike
I thought I had to wait at least another two weeks. This is SUPERB. A marvelous, well thought out story told in perfect meter and rhyme. Oh, and did I mention SMART! I love the moral of the tale! Fabulous, my friend, fabulous!!
You are so gifted. BRAVO!!!
Comment Written 26-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2012
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Aww, thanks so much, JJ! This came pouring out in one big go when I sat down - I had no idea what to write until I started. This tale must have been lurking in my head, waiting to come out :-).
Mike
Comment from Maureen's Pen
This is a great submission for the story poem contest.
Strong lines throughout this piece. Your rhythm and rhyme is great. Overall an impressive story within your poem.
Thanks for sharing, and good luck in the contest.
Maureen
Edit check:
"The ki
ngdom slept upon a peaceful time," // Re-align your line, it somehow split your line into two:)Boy that was a mouthful!
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2012
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This is a great submission for the story poem contest.
Strong lines throughout this piece. Your rhythm and rhyme is great. Overall an impressive story within your poem.
Thanks for sharing, and good luck in the contest.
Maureen
Edit check:
"The ki
ngdom slept upon a peaceful time," // Re-align your line, it somehow split your line into two:)Boy that was a mouthful!
Comment Written 26-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2012
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Thank you for the catch, Maureen! That's what I get for speed-editing on my mobile phone :-/. I'm so glad you enjoyed the piece.
Mike
Comment from visionary1234
A truly fine piece and an intriguing read ... beautiful rhyme & rhythm ... the highest of high drama here! Just one spag/ "it's light near dead but bold as ember's glow." No apostrophe 's' with its here - one of those few cases where the possessive doesn't use it. S
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2012
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A truly fine piece and an intriguing read ... beautiful rhyme & rhythm ... the highest of high drama here! Just one spag/ "it's light near dead but bold as ember's glow." No apostrophe 's' with its here - one of those few cases where the possessive doesn't use it. S
Comment Written 26-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2012
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I can;t believe I made that error! I'm always pulling other people up for that one :-/. Oh well, I'm glad you were there to catch it early. Thanks so much, and I'm thrilled you enjoyed the read :-).
Mike
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
This is an intriguing story and very well written in iambic pentameter, a tough one, for me, at least. Bringing together these two different forces in battle made for an exciting tale.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2012
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This is an intriguing story and very well written in iambic pentameter, a tough one, for me, at least. Bringing together these two different forces in battle made for an exciting tale.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2012
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Thank you, Phyllis. For me, it was difficult for ages and then it just 'clicked'. Now it's hard not to write in iambic meter!
Mike
Comment from cvcopac
Wow! What a whopper, long and justified and fabled. Great imagery, loved the description of the phoenix and the chick turned monster, the shaman and his trickery. exceptional narrative.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2012
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Wow! What a whopper, long and justified and fabled. Great imagery, loved the description of the phoenix and the chick turned monster, the shaman and his trickery. exceptional narrative.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2012
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Thanks so much for the special rating and the wonderful review, cvc - I'm so glad you enjoyed it :-).
Mike
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Your poem/story or story/poem even has a moral, just how great is that? Really great. I enjoyed the story. It read smoothly and the rhyming scheme is very good. This is a very well written contest entry. Good luck.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2012
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Your poem/story or story/poem even has a moral, just how great is that? Really great. I enjoyed the story. It read smoothly and the rhyming scheme is very good. This is a very well written contest entry. Good luck.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2012
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2012
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Thanks so much, Barbara - I'm really happy you enjoyed it :-).
Mike