Reviews from

Along the Jericho Road

Viewing comments for Chapter 27 "Inaji Moon, Part Two"
Murder Mystery

42 total reviews 
Comment from anarchist12
Excellent
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Wow... what talent you have .. indeed i was completely captivated by your chapter
can't wait to read you again
thank you ever much for sharing

 Comment Written 22-Dec-2012


reply by the author on 22-Dec-2012
    Thank you so much, anarchist, for thie generous and encouraging review. I much appreciate it! Bev
Comment from Cumbrianlass
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My dear Bev. I'm so behind on reviewing - been busy getting ready for Christmas. I've actually read your post twice now, but each time got side tracked by phone, someone asking me for something, oven beeper going off! LOL!

Finally, I've managed to get here undisturbed.

Okay. I love the exchange between Tony and Agnes. Utterly FASCINATED by the language. Adore that! And I'm so impressed by your knowledge.

accom(m)odate the Emergen(c)y Response Team.

Great hook at the end. Who is missing now, I wonder?

Look forward to the next, lovely lady.

Av
xxxx




 Comment Written 22-Dec-2012


reply by the author on 22-Dec-2012
    Av, thanks so much for your great review! I really appreciate you taking time out of your busy schedule to read and review. Hope you have a wonderful Christmas with you family and friends. Hugs, Bev
Comment from Curtis Hatch
Excellent
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Bev,

The story is interesting and engaging. I was hooked early in the chapter. The plot is compelling and believable; the characters are convincing and realistic. The story flows well, and the interaction of the characters is good. It is rich with action and suspense as the police try to solve the murder of Debra Padget. It is intriguing how you interlace the Sioux culture with the modern one.

Best Wishes,
Curtis

 Comment Written 22-Dec-2012


reply by the author on 22-Dec-2012
    Curtis, thank you so much for this thorough and generous review. I really appreciate you taking time to stop and read, especially at this busy time of year! Holiday Blessings, Bev
Comment from mumsyone
Excellent
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Hi Bev,

As usual, your writing holds my interest. I'm amazed at your knowledge of the Sioux language and traditions. You must do a lot of research, which is very commendable.

Merry Christmas!
Hugs,
Lois

His walking stick scraping the cold earth beneath shriveled leaves(,) and the snuffling of his old coon dog kept his thoughts company.

When the stew was warmed through, Tony dished it into two bowls, poured tea into mugs(,) and sat.

Officer Poole cleared his throat behind him(,) pulling Derek from his concentration.

 Comment Written 22-Dec-2012


reply by the author on 22-Dec-2012
    Hi, Lois. Thank you for your great review and suggested changes. Always appreciate your keen eye for spaggies. Happy Holidays! Bev
Comment from Norbanus
Excellent
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This is a well written story, and held my attention well. The use of Native American language with immediate translation, didn't work well for me. But it set your style and that has a value beyond the tale. It is certainly a 5 star effort and found nothing to improve.


 Comment Written 22-Dec-2012


reply by the author on 22-Dec-2012
    Hi, Norbanus. Thank you so much for reviewing. I appreciate your mentioning the translation. I've refrained from using it in previous chapters, but it was crucial to this one. Thanks so much for your generous review and insights! Bev
reply by Norbanus on 22-Dec-2012
    The tanslation issue is not a problem just my own pet squawk. And then only if it's overdone. If it's not done throughout, it'll even work for me.
Comment from Auroraboreal800
Excellent
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What a beautiful artwork, and what an interesting tribal story. I think, your dialogues and character, are the heart in this very well written chapter, I think, this is the first one I've read. I look forward to reading the rest.
GREAT JOB!! Blessing for you!

 Comment Written 22-Dec-2012


reply by the author on 22-Dec-2012
    Thank you, Aurora. I'm glad the NA language was not a barrier to your enjoyment of this chapter. I've had mostly positive reactions to it. I haven't used it much in previous chapters, but is pretty central to this one. I really appreciate your stopping to read at this busy time of year and your generous review! Happy Holidays, Bev
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
Excellent
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As always very well written, keeps the interest and makes you want to keep reading to find out what happens next, I'm hooked. I have always love stories about the American Indian. I grew up with twins from the Hopi tribe. One brother went on the become very high up in Indian Affairs in Wash. I was so surprised because he just didn't seem the type. I saw him last at my 10yr hi sch reunion. He had always been a stick and had gained at least 200lbs. He was so tall and huge. What a change. Anyway thanks for sharing your story with us.

 Comment Written 22-Dec-2012


reply by the author on 22-Dec-2012
    Hi, Rox. It's always amazing to me how genetics sets in. I had a nephew I hadn't seen in a few years and did not recognize because he had 'filled out'. He was massive! So, I know what you mean LOL.

    Thanks, as always, for being so supportive and generous.

    Hugs, Bev
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
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Writingfundimension:

I don't know what the majority of the reviewers are
saying but I, for one, really appreciate the Sioux
translations within the story itself as they help
keep the flow of the story going. I am also very
appreciative of the size of your font - especially
when I review late at night.

thanks for sharing
love,
jan

 Comment Written 21-Dec-2012


reply by the author on 22-Dec-2012
    Hi, Jan. I've received mostly positive feedback on the translations in the body of the chapter. I've done it other ways before, but in this case it seemed to be the way to go.

    Thank you so much for reading and reviewing so generously, my friend.

    Hugs, Bev
Comment from misscookie
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Another fine chapter .
You had my attention all the way.
I had to smile when there was talked about taking home some homemade tonic for the bones that was something my grandma use to make and much more. this is a good write.

 Comment Written 21-Dec-2012


reply by the author on 21-Dec-2012
    Thank you so much, misscookie, for reading my chapter. I sure appreciate your generous review and sharing your memory with me.
    Christmas Blessings, Bev
reply by misscookie on 22-Dec-2012
    Blessing back to you.
reply by the author on 22-Dec-2012
    Thank you, Cookie. :0)
reply by misscookie on 22-Dec-2012
    Your very welcome.
Comment from Connie C
Excellent
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You continue to impress me, Bev, with your storytelling. I have to admit that I was a little confused when I first started reading about Tony Buday. I couldn't remember him, but by the second or third paragraph I could see his connection to other characters in the novel. It helps me when you mention who the characters are in your author's notes, and you've often done this. I am finding all of this so incredibly interesting, and I'm assuming that you are part Sioux, which is why you know something of the language. You mentioned that your parents are bilingual. I remember growing up when my mom, who was half Cherokee, would speak to me in her native language. Back to your novel, there are so many twists and turns and so many interesting characters. I look forward to your next chapter.
Merry Christmas, my dear friend.
Connie xx

 Comment Written 21-Dec-2012


reply by the author on 21-Dec-2012
    Hello, Connie. First, Merry Christmas to you and yours, my lovely friend.

    I do appreciate your mentioning the List of Characters. Duh! No problem... should have thought of it myself. Especially when I'm hopping around and posting far apart. So, thanks a lot.

    In my case, I am Native American on my mother's side, but not much is known about the situation. My father's parents raised us when my mom died, and they spoke their tongue - Polish. Did you know that Rita Coolidge is Cherokee. She and two female relatives produced an absolutely beautiful CD that you might find interesting.

    Finally, thanks so much for taking time out to read at this so-busy time of year. I really appreciate your encouragement and wonderful support, Connie.

    Love,

    Bev