Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 35 "Conze Moon"Murder Mystery
49 total reviews
Comment from lakeport
Along the Jericho Road, indeed there is a lot going on to solve the murder.I enjoyed reading the story, God bless you.lakeport....0
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2013
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Along the Jericho Road, indeed there is a lot going on to solve the murder.I enjoyed reading the story, God bless you.lakeport....0
Comment Written 10-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2013
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Thanks so much for reading and reviewing so generously, lakeport. I appreciate it! Blessings, Bev
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your welcome,Lakeport.
Comment from GeraldS
I've read some of your postings on this story before, but not all of them. I like the setting and I recognized the characters even without the "Author Notes." But, who was Uncle Tony mentioned in the last line? He's not in the "Author Notes." And, I couldn't remember if I'd met him before. In any case, the narrative was well written and easy to read. There are a lot of nuances here; I hope they all tie together in the end.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2013
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I've read some of your postings on this story before, but not all of them. I like the setting and I recognized the characters even without the "Author Notes." But, who was Uncle Tony mentioned in the last line? He's not in the "Author Notes." And, I couldn't remember if I'd met him before. In any case, the narrative was well written and easy to read. There are a lot of nuances here; I hope they all tie together in the end.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2013
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I shall add Uncle Tony right this minute! Thanks for letting me know that put you off a bit as it's super easy to address. I appreciate your encouraging and generous review. Bev
Comment from samandlancelot
WritingFunDimension,
Exceptional writing! Excellent pacing and storytelling brought your characters to life in this chapter. You showed emotions well in all your characters, each emotion triggered for different reasons.
Enjoyable read!
Patricia
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2013
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WritingFunDimension,
Exceptional writing! Excellent pacing and storytelling brought your characters to life in this chapter. You showed emotions well in all your characters, each emotion triggered for different reasons.
Enjoyable read!
Patricia
Comment Written 10-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2013
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Thank you so much, Patricia! First, for taking time to read, and second for your very generous and encouraging review. It's a real pleasure to hear from you again. Hugs, Bev
Comment from dmt1967
This is a good chapter its a pity that I came into the story so late but I will keep my eye out for the next chapter thank you for sharing
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2013
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This is a good chapter its a pity that I came into the story so late but I will keep my eye out for the next chapter thank you for sharing
Comment Written 10-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2013
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Thank you very much for stopping by to read my chapter, dmt. I appreciate the support! Bev
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for the brief synopsis to remind us of where the story left off and for the translation and pronunciation of "conze". And what a powerful opening paragraph! I also liked the way you wove in details of the cousins' prickliness and the repercussions from Jana's leaving the reservation. I also admired your adding the description of the seagulls and the "clam" simile to reinforce the mood. From Lincoln, Nebraska- Joan
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2013
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Thank you for the brief synopsis to remind us of where the story left off and for the translation and pronunciation of "conze". And what a powerful opening paragraph! I also liked the way you wove in details of the cousins' prickliness and the repercussions from Jana's leaving the reservation. I also admired your adding the description of the seagulls and the "clam" simile to reinforce the mood. From Lincoln, Nebraska- Joan
Comment Written 09-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2013
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Joan, I am deeply grateful for this very generous and encouraging review. Thank you, my friend, for your steadfast support of my novel. It means so much to me!
Hugs, Bev
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Many thanks for your gracious response. Cheers from Jefferson City, Missouri- Joan
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You're very welcome, Joan.
Comment from JW
This is a good chapter, and it does a good job at advancing your storyline. A very pleasant read, indeed and it easily holds a reader's interest.
No spags were found.
Great job. JW
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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This is a good chapter, and it does a good job at advancing your storyline. A very pleasant read, indeed and it easily holds a reader's interest.
No spags were found.
Great job. JW
Comment Written 09-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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Thanks so much, Jonathon. I really appreciate the support.
Bev
Comment from mr elis
Yes after you-are-on the other side of heaven the big amount or sum of money has any meaning to you.if you didn't make use of it before,it's left to those coming behind,what a dead truth.It' good to follow the holy scripture.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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Yes after you-are-on the other side of heaven the big amount or sum of money has any meaning to you.if you didn't make use of it before,it's left to those coming behind,what a dead truth.It' good to follow the holy scripture.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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Thank you so much, mr elis. I agree with you completely. Bev
Comment from Judy Couch
This story is well written and easy to follow. I did have some trouble keeping the characters straight but that was probably the result of entering the story this late. I would like to see more of this story.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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This story is well written and easy to follow. I did have some trouble keeping the characters straight but that was probably the result of entering the story this late. I would like to see more of this story.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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Judy, thank you so much for stopping by to read my chapter. I appreciate your generous review and kind words. Bev
Comment from Selina Stambi
'Is it not lawful for me to do what I will with mine own? Is thine eye evil, because I am good? So the last shall be first and the first last: for many be called, but few chosen- I recognize all but the second quote.
Bev, dear, I finally had six stars for you. This write is developing so well.
Fab, dialaogue. Lots of intrigue and a tantalizing hint of romance-to-be.
Check Matthew 5:1-11 and Luke 6: 20 -26 (Sermon on the Mount) The quotations are from Scripture, but not from the Sermon on the Mount, as far as I know. (Go into biblegateway.com and type in the line - it will give you the reference. I don't have them off my head) I would just say "New Testament" or "Bible" and leave out the ref. to the Sermon on the Mount so you don't have the "holier than thous" jumping down your throat!
Looking forward to the next one, my friend!
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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'Is it not lawful for me to do what I will with mine own? Is thine eye evil, because I am good? So the last shall be first and the first last: for many be called, but few chosen- I recognize all but the second quote.
Bev, dear, I finally had six stars for you. This write is developing so well.
Fab, dialaogue. Lots of intrigue and a tantalizing hint of romance-to-be.
Check Matthew 5:1-11 and Luke 6: 20 -26 (Sermon on the Mount) The quotations are from Scripture, but not from the Sermon on the Mount, as far as I know. (Go into biblegateway.com and type in the line - it will give you the reference. I don't have them off my head) I would just say "New Testament" or "Bible" and leave out the ref. to the Sermon on the Mount so you don't have the "holier than thous" jumping down your throat!
Looking forward to the next one, my friend!
Comment Written 08-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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Hi, Sonali. Thanks so much for the fabulous review. I really appreciate the encouragement and support.
I did get this from a Bible Study site. It specifically refers to this as being from the Sermon on Mount, (Matthew 20: 1-16). But in case that site is wrong, I see no problem in removing the mention of the Sermon on the Mount. Thanks for the heads-up, my friend.
The six stars (I know how precious those are) is extra specially gratifying.
Hugs, Bev
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If you have time, go type in the scriptures on Biblegateway. One of the quotations is from a parable and another refers to the second coming, if I'm not mistaken.
As far as I know - not the Sermon. Shouldn't be a huge deal, but you know how some folks on this site seem to love to pick!! Just to be safe and spare yourself!! :)
The stars ... really well deserved, my friend!
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I think it's best to play safe, so I've removed the mention of the Sermon on the Mount and added a footnote about the chapter genesis. I agree with you, Sonali, I don't need the flak. And most folks know more about the Bible than I do anyway LOL. I appreciate you havin' my back, buddy.
Hugs, Bev
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Always have your back, dear. As you've had mine, I know!! :) ... Remember? ...
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Sure do... XoX Bev
Comment from DALLAS01
Wow.this is really a graphic chapter. Done oh so well. One of the sentences that served to break the tension was the inclusion of the birds taking flight. It was a perfect insert.
The actions of the medical examiner makes for strong characterization and referring to him by name supports that but the repeated referrel to him as the ME seemed to water that down for me and he becomes kind of sterile..Just an impression.
Need an apostrophe here:
The fact the speaker was her cousin, Ty(,) both surprised and irritated her.
Out of sixes, sorry.
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2013
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Wow.this is really a graphic chapter. Done oh so well. One of the sentences that served to break the tension was the inclusion of the birds taking flight. It was a perfect insert.
The actions of the medical examiner makes for strong characterization and referring to him by name supports that but the repeated referrel to him as the ME seemed to water that down for me and he becomes kind of sterile..Just an impression.
Need an apostrophe here:
The fact the speaker was her cousin, Ty(,) both surprised and irritated her.
Out of sixes, sorry.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2013
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Thank you so much, Dallas. I think you make a good point about repeating the ME and have changed it based on your insight. Flows better!
I sure appreciate your generosity and continued support.
Warm regards, Bev
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look forward to next chapter.