Pray for Our Earth
the world 1000 years from now16 total reviews
Comment from Sasha
I happen to be a fan of sci-fi and this one is literally terrific. Your imagination seems to know no limits. You kept me riveted to my chair from beginning to end. This is a fantastic and well written story and a suburb entry for this contest. I sincerely wish you all the best.
I found out today that when I fell last month, I broke my foot too. I had it x-rayed for the vascular neuropathy and they found a small hairline fracture on the side below my ankle. I was fortunate it was hairline and wearing a cast would not have been beneficial. It is healing nicely and I just have to try and not break it again. At least now I know why it was hurting so much.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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I happen to be a fan of sci-fi and this one is literally terrific. Your imagination seems to know no limits. You kept me riveted to my chair from beginning to end. This is a fantastic and well written story and a suburb entry for this contest. I sincerely wish you all the best.
I found out today that when I fell last month, I broke my foot too. I had it x-rayed for the vascular neuropathy and they found a small hairline fracture on the side below my ankle. I was fortunate it was hairline and wearing a cast would not have been beneficial. It is healing nicely and I just have to try and not break it again. At least now I know why it was hurting so much.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Fracture can be very painful. I once had 4 in my shoulder and only survived with Percoden. I guess that ends your Salsa romps.
Thanks for the bouquet of stars. Sci-fi is not my forte, but I was trolling for contests, wrote it, then figured it was a contender and my FS bank account is dwindling.
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Surprisingly, it didn't really hurt that much. The vascular neuropathy is what hurt.
Comment from gene roush
This is very good.
You lead the reader through the story very nicely.
The narrative flows smoothly and transitions well.
Nice job
Thanks for sharing
Gene
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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This is very good.
You lead the reader through the story very nicely.
The narrative flows smoothly and transitions well.
Nice job
Thanks for sharing
Gene
Comment Written 22-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Thanks for reading.
Comment from in777wr#
What an imagination! So many elements in this story that is captivating. From the population of Androids, and body parts replaced with machines. This was interesting. Also, the harvesting of body parts and the struggle to fight off extinction. This was captivating.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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What an imagination! So many elements in this story that is captivating. From the population of Androids, and body parts replaced with machines. This was interesting. Also, the harvesting of body parts and the struggle to fight off extinction. This was captivating.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Thank you very much for reading and your kind words.
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You're welcome.
Comment from trevorletang
A great imaginative and thought provoking write into the future. Those androids and Divergents still seem homesick for their origins, though - can we ever get away from being truly human?
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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A great imaginative and thought provoking write into the future. Those androids and Divergents still seem homesick for their origins, though - can we ever get away from being truly human?
Comment Written 22-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Why not? Some people manage to stop being human, long before they stop breathing.
Thanks for reading.
Comment from ruhama
I am usually not a fan of sci-fi, however, your story gripped me from the beginning. I cannot fathom how it is possible to reach such heights of imagination and make the new world sound so horrifying to today's humans but at the same time, believable. (Help us all!) My favorite paragraph was "My great-great-grandfather was among the last harvesters. For many aeons the harvesters collected human body parts still not decayed. These were taken to laboratories and nurtured until they were put to use. The new Gods tried valiantly to maintain the human race during their occupation of Earth. What remained of humans was patched together and new life forms emerged. They were still able to propagate and the off-spring of this experiment proved the strongest race yet to inhabit the earth. They were the forefathers of our new world. I have serial numbers engraved on the inside of my titanium torso that are evidence of my rights as a descendent. All deviants retain special rights and I am grateful that I am able to continue to record the past and be part of future generations. " This and your closing plea for hope of opening both eyes the following day are crowning achievements. Kudos
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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I am usually not a fan of sci-fi, however, your story gripped me from the beginning. I cannot fathom how it is possible to reach such heights of imagination and make the new world sound so horrifying to today's humans but at the same time, believable. (Help us all!) My favorite paragraph was "My great-great-grandfather was among the last harvesters. For many aeons the harvesters collected human body parts still not decayed. These were taken to laboratories and nurtured until they were put to use. The new Gods tried valiantly to maintain the human race during their occupation of Earth. What remained of humans was patched together and new life forms emerged. They were still able to propagate and the off-spring of this experiment proved the strongest race yet to inhabit the earth. They were the forefathers of our new world. I have serial numbers engraved on the inside of my titanium torso that are evidence of my rights as a descendent. All deviants retain special rights and I am grateful that I am able to continue to record the past and be part of future generations. " This and your closing plea for hope of opening both eyes the following day are crowning achievements. Kudos
Comment Written 22-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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I am both humbled and honoured by your generous rating. I completely appreciate your aversion to sci-fi and share the feeling. It's very hard for me to tough out finishing stories with Vampires and Zombies especially. So thank you very much for the accolades and the bouquet of glitter.
Comment from barleygirl
I am not familiar with anything "divergent" . . . & I'm also not a huge fan of this genre . . . with that being said, it's quite amazing how much your story drew me in & provided me with enough overall info that I could follow everything quite well, even tho it seems foreign to me, to use my imagination in these ways. I marvel at writers who can think so far outside the lines of "normality" that it's a level of imagination that amazes me. My main complaint about reading fantasy scenarios is that there always seems to be the perfect imaginary item at hand, or the perfect pat explanation or answer, to explain everything away smoothly. I don't buy this kind of convenience in a story. I'm glad to say, I didn't feel your story had this common problem. You did explain a lot of amazing ideas, but it wasn't done to get the writer off the hook for a confusing or underdeveloped storyline. All the complexities in your story are well thought out to present a whole novel fantasy realm in a way that makes it possible for the reader (even a reluctant one like myself) to suspend what they know to be true & possible, to be immersed in this realm while reading. Great job!
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reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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I am not familiar with anything "divergent" . . . & I'm also not a huge fan of this genre . . . with that being said, it's quite amazing how much your story drew me in & provided me with enough overall info that I could follow everything quite well, even tho it seems foreign to me, to use my imagination in these ways. I marvel at writers who can think so far outside the lines of "normality" that it's a level of imagination that amazes me. My main complaint about reading fantasy scenarios is that there always seems to be the perfect imaginary item at hand, or the perfect pat explanation or answer, to explain everything away smoothly. I don't buy this kind of convenience in a story. I'm glad to say, I didn't feel your story had this common problem. You did explain a lot of amazing ideas, but it wasn't done to get the writer off the hook for a confusing or underdeveloped storyline. All the complexities in your story are well thought out to present a whole novel fantasy realm in a way that makes it possible for the reader (even a reluctant one like myself) to suspend what they know to be true & possible, to be immersed in this realm while reading. Great job!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Well this might surprise you, but I don't much like fantasy stories much either. Any mention of Vampires or Zombies also makes me want to puke. So, it seems strange to me that I'd even take a whirl at this, but it's got a big pay-out (how's that for honesty) to the winner, I was bored and couldn't get inspired by any of the other contest prompts.
thanks for reading, especially considering I completely understand your aversion to this writing category.
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I don't pay much attention to contests more than 2 weeks off, didn't see this, but you responded with an amazingly unexpected twist of a story . . . I know what you mean about writing something in a genre that you'd never otherwise be writing . . . I did that with my first horror story recently, & I got 2nd place, but no cigar, for a contest where 1st place wins REAL money! *smile*
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Sometimes moving outside one's comfort zone can give a writer a new perspective of their own abilities to weave stories.
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I so agree with you! I broke thru major barriers in my own concept of my gift to write!