The Bounty Hunter
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "The Bounty Hunter-Part 2: Hunted"Supernatural Bounty Hunter
19 total reviews
Comment from Patrick G Cox
Hi lancellot,
A good tense ending to this chapter, and a great hook at the end of it. The problem with demons is they don't stay dead in any story and I suspect this one won't either. But did he steal the child's soul ...
Nothing I can suggest for improvement here.
Patrick
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
  |
Hi lancellot,
A good tense ending to this chapter, and a great hook at the end of it. The problem with demons is they don't stay dead in any story and I suspect this one won't either. But did he steal the child's soul ...
Nothing I can suggest for improvement here.
Patrick
Comment Written 12-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
-
Thank you. I hope you get a chance to read part 3, I just posted.
Comment from pickthorn
A lot of action in this segment. Surely the bounty hunter has survived this shootout even though his body is in the coroner's office. The cops weren't too concerned about the little boy, as Samuel covered the boy and the police kept pumping lead into his body. Great story, well told.
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
|
A lot of action in this segment. Surely the bounty hunter has survived this shootout even though his body is in the coroner's office. The cops weren't too concerned about the little boy, as Samuel covered the boy and the police kept pumping lead into his body. Great story, well told.
Comment Written 12-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
-
Thank you. We'll see where the next chapter goes. The were just scared and in the heat of the moment.
Comment from Silent1rose
Add the capitalized words.
The milk and the vitamins felt good on his stomach, but he knew it would take time for them TO work into his system.
Police offers(OFFICERS) swarmed before him.
This was just beyond interesting! I love it! And oh no the bounty hunter can't be dead! He has to get up and walk out the coroner's office LOL. I cringed when you said blood and milk came out his stomach..Yuck. And I had a good laugh at your author's note! You are great Lancellot. ~Rose
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
|
Add the capitalized words.
The milk and the vitamins felt good on his stomach, but he knew it would take time for them TO work into his system.
Police offers(OFFICERS) swarmed before him.
This was just beyond interesting! I love it! And oh no the bounty hunter can't be dead! He has to get up and walk out the coroner's office LOL. I cringed when you said blood and milk came out his stomach..Yuck. And I had a good laugh at your author's note! You are great Lancellot. ~Rose
Comment Written 12-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 12-Oct-2013
-
Thank you very much. I'm happy you enjoyed. I appreciate the help on the words.
-
My pleasure! Can't wait for part 3! :) ~ Rose
Comment from Millibrad
Riveting. Very well written. I like the irony of the Bounty Hunter asking ""When did the world get so untrusting?" Also liked the human element of having him, with all else going on, admire the way the boy's shoes lit up.
|
Riveting. Very well written. I like the irony of the Bounty Hunter asking ""When did the world get so untrusting?" Also liked the human element of having him, with all else going on, admire the way the boy's shoes lit up.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2013
Comment from adewpearl
by his master, Azazel, had - add second comma
fascinating explanation of the bounty hunter's powers to heal
Look, mommy, a black cowboy - Mommy
Yes, Sir, and they come - add second comma
A very dramatic shooting scene with good action verbs to add to the drama
Brooke
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
|
by his master, Azazel, had - add second comma
fascinating explanation of the bounty hunter's powers to heal
Look, mommy, a black cowboy - Mommy
Yes, Sir, and they come - add second comma
A very dramatic shooting scene with good action verbs to add to the drama
Brooke
Comment Written 11-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
-
Thank you, Brooke. I am trying to work on those comma placements.
Comment from Sankey
Good story well written pretty gruesome but you warned us hehe. One Spag I think hell(hail??) of bullets.
haven't seen you around for a while where ya bin?
Take care.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
|
Good story well written pretty gruesome but you warned us hehe. One Spag I think hell(hail??) of bullets.
haven't seen you around for a while where ya bin?
Take care.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
-
Thank you, yes I will replace that. I've try to stay active, but life on the outside doesn't stop.
-
I agree, and we are retired ho hum.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Look, mommy, a black cowboy, (capitalize Mommy)
any none sugary food?" (any non-sugary food)
Like roaches fleeing the light, Police offers swarmed before him. (add comma)
Interesting story to read. Overall well written. There are a few spags which should be corrected
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
|
Look, mommy, a black cowboy, (capitalize Mommy)
any none sugary food?" (any non-sugary food)
Like roaches fleeing the light, Police offers swarmed before him. (add comma)
Interesting story to read. Overall well written. There are a few spags which should be corrected
Comment Written 11-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
-
Thank you very much, Debbie. I appreciate the help.
Comment from allborn66
This is a wonderful story. I glad you continued it. I like your voice. The dialogue is good. You have a nice story arc going here. I am intrigued.
Barbara
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
|
This is a wonderful story. I glad you continued it. I like your voice. The dialogue is good. You have a nice story arc going here. I am intrigued.
Barbara
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
-
Thank you. I am writing the third chapter now.
Comment from c_lucas
This is a very well written story line with a very unique plot. There is a smooth flow to the story, with many unusual incidences. Good job.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
|
This is a very well written story line with a very unique plot. There is a smooth flow to the story, with many unusual incidences. Good job.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 11-Oct-2013
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2013
-
Thank you very much.
-
You're welcome