Comment from adewpearl

Excellent

Stark and gruesome detail make this a stomach-churning story
Great dialogue that conveys the intense emotions of the characters well
Excellent visuals and sound effects that have me still wincing
And you've certainly piqued my curiosity about what the hell this creature is and what will become of these characters
Brooke

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Jan-2014

Thank you very much, Brooke. Some of them will show up in Red Penny. I am expanding my supernatural universe and tying all tales together. I wish I could post all I have today, but alas we only get two posting a day.
JW

Comment from humpwhistle

Excellent

lancellot, I'm confused. I'm in the middle of the story, and you start throwing new names at me--Kristoff, Hunter. I feel like I've walked into the middle of a movie. Have I?
I haven't a clue as to what's going on.

Peace, Lee



He passed one man coming his way, but as he wore regular clothes he paid him no mind. He was so focused on finding a doctor that he ignored the vibrations coming from within his coat.
--maybe there are a few to many 'he's here.
Differentiate between the cop(?) and the man.

Doc Martin? Really?

Peace Corp.

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Jan-2014

Thank you. I guess you have. The Hunter is character in my supernatural universe, that is in many of my stories. Most of them are related in some way and character or their descendants pop up from time to time.

Good suggestion of that section. You are right, I will get rid of some of the he's.

Doctor Martin is the name my primary care physician. I had to do it. I couldn't resist.

Comment from buzclick

Exceptional

Dude, you went and did it again. I must admit I will probably buy this series of books. Well done! Indeed!
Suspense was off the charts, the meter broke. I absolutely loved this.

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Jan-2014

Thank you very much. I appreciate the great review. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I try to keep the Bounty Hunter's tales moving.

Comment from Righteous Riter

Excellent

The tone is set from the opening line. Good character balance. Good intense dialogue between the characters. Strong emotion that makes my feel the impact of the words written. Good transitioning between the events. The pace intensifies towards the end leading to a heart pounding conclusion.

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Jan-2014

Thank you very much

Comment from Mystic Angel 7777

Exceptional

This was just excellent! You certainly fulfilled the contest requirements in this well written piece. I was held captive from beginning to end and it moved along at the same frantic pace as the poor girl's heart rate. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you so much for sharing this with me.

 Comment Written 04-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Jan-2014

Thank you very much. I appreciate the great review.

Comment from L.A.Matthies

Excellent

This is a really cool and intense piece of Sci-Fi, you did an excellent job building the suspense!
In case the contest hasn't run it's course please take another quick read through
- he thought, ever horrific sight a medic could,- I think you meant to say 'every horrific'
Wonderful work ...good luck!

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Jan-2014

Thank you very much. Good catch, I always miss a few when the word count gets high.

Comment from Cindy Warren

Excellent

That's creepy! What will they do with the second one? Doctors and nurses may not kill it. It could be a whole new story. I'm sure the Hunter will get Krisstoff, but since he didn't know about the hybrid twin, it might live.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 03-Jan-2014

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reply by the author on 04-Jan-2014

Thank you. The second one will appear in the Red Penny saga along with the good doctor.